How do I deal with paranoia without addictive medication?

October 27, 2009 11:16 PM

What are some suggestions concerning dealing with feelings of near constant paranoia?

I question everyone's motives all of the time and I know that's not normal. A friend or family member can't even say anything nice to me without me over thinking it and picking it apart. I don't trust anyone anymore and it just keeps getting worse to the point where I have pretty much cut off all contact with all of my friends,even the ones I know in my head don't mean me any harm. I don't want to live like this anymore but I just don't know what to do. I am taking welbutrin and just got off of tranxene a few weeks ago. It was a miserable experience getting off of it, there is no way I want to take any more benzos. I don't think I can do therapy because I don't feel comfortable talking to a complete stranger(face to face) about my feelings. I have felt like this for a long time but it has gotten worse in the past year. I feel so alone. Any and all suggestions are welcome. Thanks for reading this.

posted by iabide79 to human relations (11 comments total)

Hi,
I was (am) a lot like that.

The single biggest changing factor for me was doing the Al-Anon 12-step program, to be honest. Medication helped masking the symptoms, but it was really a nice rearranging of my POV's and reactions to things. Put simply, I didn't know where I ended and other people begun. My emotions were attached to things outside myself. The essence of the idea is captured in the oft-quoted and mildly sappy serenity prayer. The prayer itself is a not-too-bad encoding of some very deep wisdom.

If you are religious, the 12-step program is a no brainer. If you are an atheist like me, doing the 12-step program takes some more effort, but it is possible.

Just my personal experience.
posted by krilli at 11:21 PM on October 27

(Doing the 12-step program being possible for atheists as in you do not need to start believing in god – you just have to figure out what all those silly religious people mean when they say they are believing in god, and then proceed with executing the program. Essentially I needed to believe that I would be helped, I needed to know and learn trust, that kindness would win over hatred, that my conscience was real, many small and beautiful things that man has built the image of god to represent. IMO.)
posted by krilli at 11:24 PM on October 27 [1 favorite]

As this is a sensitive issue, I must add a second explanatory disclaimer: I mean "silly religious people" in the best and finest way possible. I actually think they are on to something that I am missing out on. More power to them / you.
posted by krilli at 11:27 PM on October 27

I don't think I can do therapy because I don't feel comfortable talking to a complete stranger(face to face) about my feelings.

There are therapists who will offer phone sessions. I've even heard that there are therapists who will do instant-messenger sessions, although I'd imagine they're very rare.

And you don't really start out talking about your deepest darkest shit with a shrink. Rather, you start out talking about any number of things, from football to how much of a bitch your mother is, as you build trust and rapport. It's fairly normal to focus on objective, worldly, "trivial" things for weeks before ever even bringing up the reason you've sought therapy.

Furthermore, unless you've had therapy before, you may be laboring under a false impression of the process. It's pretty much nothing like the movies. There are entire paradigms of therapy that don't even recognize that "feelings" have any part in the process; shrinks who'll quite literally say, "That's not important" when you mention how you feel.

But you need to find a therapist or a focused group who is capable of helping you with paranoia specifically. Alcoholics anonymous might help if, in fact, you're addicted to something... but, it's not designed to treat paranoia.
posted by Netzapper at 1:46 AM on October 28

Al-Anon is not the same as Alcoholics Anonymous – and the 12-step program is indeed rather effective for paranoia. In my anecdotal and unverifiable experience. But professional help should definitely not be excluded in the name of the 12-step program. Absolutely not. It's just a valuable tool in the box.
posted by krilli at 2:40 AM on October 28

Just a few thoughts.

1) Even if your friends don't mean you any harm, maybe they are inconsistent with their words and behavior.

And because you are more aware, maybe you detect that and it gets your mind going. And nobody else around you understands you because they are unaware of the things they are saying and doing.

I stopped calling a lot of friends and family. But I wouldn't call that being paranoid - I'm just protecting myself.

They just aren't as sensitive as me and don't understand me. So I limit my time with them.

2) Meet many people because it will let you know if you are just imagining things or if the people around you are not good companions for you.

In reality, our circle of friends is generally small and if that circle of people are unhealthy (for you) then it can make you feel like an outsider or crazy person.

But there is a whole world of people out there.

Talk to other people. You won't regret it.

3) I will never tell someone to take or not take medication. Paranoid is a strong word. But if you really do feel clinically paranoid then its a tough one.

I question other people's motives a lot too - but mostly because I've been betrayed and I have actual proof.

Anyways, if you still don't want medication, perhaps John Forbes can inspire you, although I have to say he is probably an extraordinary person so again its a tough question about medication.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Forbes_Nash,_Jr.

"Although he took prescribed medication, Nash wrote later that he only took it either involuntarily or under pressure. After 1970 he was never committed to the hospital again and refused any medication."

Trust me, you CAN go see a therapist. Its no big deal really. Either you find that it helps after giving it a fair trial or not (7-10 sessions?). And switch to another one if you don't like it. Sometimes you just don't click.

You're not forced to take medication if you go to a therapist.

Its just talking...like on Metafilter...

The best of luck.
posted by simpleton at 3:36 AM on October 28 [1 favorite]

It might help to know, this can fade away. I used to be very paranoid. Somehow, this faded away as I aged.
posted by Goofyy at 5:31 AM on October 28 [1 favorite]

I don't think I can do therapy because I don't feel comfortable talking to a complete stranger(face to face) about my feelings.

It's not supposed to be "comfortable." It's hard work. It kind of sucks, actually.

But the thing is, it helps.

Your other choice is to blunder around in the dark hoping you'll magically figure it out on your own.

Ask whoever's writing your prescriptions to recommend a therapist.
posted by ook at 7:16 AM on October 28

Paranoia is often a symptom of an underlying disorder that may be chemical or emotional in nature. You might, for example, have a problem with your adrenal glands overproducing, or you might have borderline personality disorder, or a number of other issues that will only get better if given proper attention and possibly medication.

Additionally, wellbutrin and most other anti-anxiety and anti-depressant medications can, in some instances (particularly when starting new meds or if not taken with great attention to dosage timing), significantly increase anxiety, which can manifest as paranoia. I took generic wellbutrin as part of a stop-smoking plan and had to stop because of the incredible anxiety it caused me. Generic wellbutrin in particular has a reputation for this type of symptom, so if you're taking generic, see if you can switch to a different one or the brand name and see if your symptoms improve. Also, ask your doctor about checking your hormone levels and adrenal function.

It can be difficult to find a therapist you can trust, and it doesn't happen overnight any more than it does in any other type of relationship, but it is very likely to be beneficial and worth the effort. Try checking the practicioner directory on psychologytoday.com and looking for someone who specializes in trauma or anxiety in your area. You may have to try a few therapists before you find one who works for you. It took us 4 therapists to finally find one my daughter trusted and with whom she had good rapport, and she has made incredible strides since then.

Finally, paranoia is about fear, as is anxiety, and most things that help anxiety can be helpful with other manifestations of fear. Try reducing caffeine/alcohol intake, taking time for exercise/yoga/meditation, spending time alone or with people you do trust, getting a pet, trying EFT or PSTEC, or anything that's worked to calm you in the past.
posted by notashroom at 7:31 AM on October 28

I actually finally signed up for metafilter just to answer this question! I was like that, and what helped me more than anything else was the idea that if my paranoia was real, then I had to start listening to the GOOD things and messages too. It sounds sort of weird, but if I was going to focus on how everyone was against me, I needed to focus on how everyone was for me too. There's actually an amazing book about it called Pronoia by Rob Brezny. After making a huge effort to focus on the positive messages the universe sends, everything sort of quieted down and now it's rare that i get paranoid to the extent that I used to.
posted by katypickle at 9:54 AM on October 28 [2 favorites]

thank you all for answering, all of these were great suggestions.
posted by iabide79 at 8:51 PM on November 15