Cats are not getting along anymore! Help!
October 23, 2009 6:12 AM Subscribe
Our two cats have taken a step backwards and are having difficulty living together. Need some help (re)socializing them.
The two culprits: Doppler (formerly feral, about 7-8 months old) and Max (a shade over a year old). They're both male, both neutered, not siblings, and we adopted them at the same time about six-ish weeks ago.
While they were getting used to their new home, things between them were fine. They weren't exactly best buddies, but they would sniff each other occasionally and sleep on the bed next to each other. In the past few weeks, though, something happened that has caused their relationship to sour.
Max has turned a little aggressive towards Doppler, and Doppler is simply scared to death most of the time. Max will chase and pounce on Doppler, who then finds the nearest hiding spot and will stay there for hours on end. At one point he stayed under the bed for almost three days straight, only leaving to pee on top of the mattress. It got bad enough that we banished both cats from the bedroom and had to keep Doppler locked in the office.
Things have improved since that low point - they'll eat together now, for example, and Doppler doesn't stay in the office 24/7 - but it's not really where we'd like things to be. Sometimes it seems like they're both fine living together; if they're both feeling relaxed, Max will come up and sniff at Doppler and Doppler will just hang out and let things happen. However, Doppler is still very skittish - sometimes Max just needs to look at him from across the room and he'll run under the couch. Sometimes Max will attack him while he's using the litter box. We have to keep them in separate rooms while we're out of the house.
I really can't figure out Max's motivations. Sometimes it seems like he's just trying to play or assert his dominance, but other times it just seems mean - I'll hold Doppler and carry him around the house (he seems to like it and feels safe there), and if I let Max sniff Doppler while he's being held, sometimes Max will bite (not hard, just a sort of grabbing a mouthful of fur). Max also just tends to get aggressive when he's excited or agitated (or on catnip!) and will try to attack slippers, dangling arms, or whatever.
We really want them to be able to live together peacefully, and we've been feeling really bad about having to confine one of them to a single room during the day. We tried some slow resocializing after the bed peeing (Max in a crate in Doppler's room, supervised playtimes, etc.) but we need some more suggestions. I think what it boils down to is a) Max needs to calm down and stop attacking Doppler, and b) Doppler needs to "grow a pair" and stop running all the time. Any ideas?
The two culprits: Doppler (formerly feral, about 7-8 months old) and Max (a shade over a year old). They're both male, both neutered, not siblings, and we adopted them at the same time about six-ish weeks ago.
While they were getting used to their new home, things between them were fine. They weren't exactly best buddies, but they would sniff each other occasionally and sleep on the bed next to each other. In the past few weeks, though, something happened that has caused their relationship to sour.
Max has turned a little aggressive towards Doppler, and Doppler is simply scared to death most of the time. Max will chase and pounce on Doppler, who then finds the nearest hiding spot and will stay there for hours on end. At one point he stayed under the bed for almost three days straight, only leaving to pee on top of the mattress. It got bad enough that we banished both cats from the bedroom and had to keep Doppler locked in the office.
Things have improved since that low point - they'll eat together now, for example, and Doppler doesn't stay in the office 24/7 - but it's not really where we'd like things to be. Sometimes it seems like they're both fine living together; if they're both feeling relaxed, Max will come up and sniff at Doppler and Doppler will just hang out and let things happen. However, Doppler is still very skittish - sometimes Max just needs to look at him from across the room and he'll run under the couch. Sometimes Max will attack him while he's using the litter box. We have to keep them in separate rooms while we're out of the house.
I really can't figure out Max's motivations. Sometimes it seems like he's just trying to play or assert his dominance, but other times it just seems mean - I'll hold Doppler and carry him around the house (he seems to like it and feels safe there), and if I let Max sniff Doppler while he's being held, sometimes Max will bite (not hard, just a sort of grabbing a mouthful of fur). Max also just tends to get aggressive when he's excited or agitated (or on catnip!) and will try to attack slippers, dangling arms, or whatever.
We really want them to be able to live together peacefully, and we've been feeling really bad about having to confine one of them to a single room during the day. We tried some slow resocializing after the bed peeing (Max in a crate in Doppler's room, supervised playtimes, etc.) but we need some more suggestions. I think what it boils down to is a) Max needs to calm down and stop attacking Doppler, and b) Doppler needs to "grow a pair" and stop running all the time. Any ideas?
Response by poster: We got a second litter box after the peeing incident - an open one rather than the closed one we bought at first so that Doppler could get away if he got attacked in it. They've both been doing their business pretty regularly and there haven't been anymore accidents. He will still use the covered box if we lock up Max in the office or he's otherwise out of the way and unable to chase. Water consumption hasn't changed as far as I can tell.
If we were to get one of the Feliway plug-ins (boy are they expensive!) where's the best place to put it? We'd ultimately like Doppler to feel ok running around the whole apartment, so should we put it out in the living/dining room, where Max spends most of his time? Or in the office that's become Doppler's sanctuary?
posted by backseatpilot at 10:12 AM on October 23, 2009
If we were to get one of the Feliway plug-ins (boy are they expensive!) where's the best place to put it? We'd ultimately like Doppler to feel ok running around the whole apartment, so should we put it out in the living/dining room, where Max spends most of his time? Or in the office that's become Doppler's sanctuary?
posted by backseatpilot at 10:12 AM on October 23, 2009
Good to hear that Doppler hasn't had anymore accidents!
If there is no specific place where the altercations occur, then I would put the Feliway in the living/dining room. Doppler already sees the office as "safe", so I think the best hope is to make the main living area less of Max's territory and more of a place where they can both relax. If they were battling over, say, food or water or litterboxes, I would put it near wherever these fights occur.
posted by dumbledore69 at 11:06 AM on October 23, 2009
If there is no specific place where the altercations occur, then I would put the Feliway in the living/dining room. Doppler already sees the office as "safe", so I think the best hope is to make the main living area less of Max's territory and more of a place where they can both relax. If they were battling over, say, food or water or litterboxes, I would put it near wherever these fights occur.
posted by dumbledore69 at 11:06 AM on October 23, 2009
We have a very similar problem with our two cats and the Feliway option seems to be the next step to take. Is there a difference between the brand name Feliway product and a similar diffuser under the name of 'Comfort Zone'? Comfort Zone (on Amazon anyway) seems to be a lot less expensive.
posted by 543DoublePlay at 11:13 AM on October 23, 2009
posted by 543DoublePlay at 11:13 AM on October 23, 2009
I believe that Comfort Zone is actually the product name for the plug-in infuser and refills, and Feliway is the brand name. It is the same thing, so I vote go for it.
posted by dumbledore69 at 12:54 PM on October 23, 2009
posted by dumbledore69 at 12:54 PM on October 23, 2009
Try washing them both at the same time with the same shampoo, letting them be near each other while they lick themselves dry then brushing them with the same brush. I was skeptical when it was first suggested to me, but it worked.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 4:16 AM on October 24, 2009
posted by obiwanwasabi at 4:16 AM on October 24, 2009
Response by poster: Well, we got the Feliway last week and the cats seemed to be getting along a little better. Max was still chasing, but they ate next to each other and we even got them on the couch together for a short while. So, we started letting Doppler out of the office more and more, and then we let them back in to the bedroom at night.
Something happened this morning, I don't know what - after we got out of the shower I saw Max leave the bedroom with his tail all poofed out, and there was a big pee stain on my comforter. Doppler was hiding under the bed (after scratching at the box spring all night) and he had also crapped on the floor under the bed. I guess we're going to keep them out of the bedroom for the time being.
I guess the upside is that Doppler managed to wallow in his own filth, so he gets a bath tonight. Maybe I can get them both in there and see how that works out.
posted by backseatpilot at 5:31 AM on October 30, 2009
Something happened this morning, I don't know what - after we got out of the shower I saw Max leave the bedroom with his tail all poofed out, and there was a big pee stain on my comforter. Doppler was hiding under the bed (after scratching at the box spring all night) and he had also crapped on the floor under the bed. I guess we're going to keep them out of the bedroom for the time being.
I guess the upside is that Doppler managed to wallow in his own filth, so he gets a bath tonight. Maybe I can get them both in there and see how that works out.
posted by backseatpilot at 5:31 AM on October 30, 2009
backseatpilot - you have to follow up with your report on that event! Shampooing TWO cats at once? Sounds like a good way to die by multiple scratch wounds to me.....
posted by 543DoublePlay at 11:26 AM on October 30, 2009
posted by 543DoublePlay at 11:26 AM on October 30, 2009
Response by poster: Well, we did not end up washing them together, but the adoption agency finally got back to me with some advice. Instead of keeping Doppler in the office, we've switched things around and now we're keeping Max in the office when we're away. The agency's suggestion was to use the room as a punishment/method to let Max know that he does not get unlimited run of the apartment. Any time he chases Doppler he goes back in the office with a stern "No!", and he seems to be responding as if he knows when he's done something wrong.
I'm taking them to the vet tomorrow just to make sure there's nothing wrong with either of them causing this behavior, and hopefully they'll have some more suggestions for us.
posted by backseatpilot at 7:50 AM on November 10, 2009
I'm taking them to the vet tomorrow just to make sure there's nothing wrong with either of them causing this behavior, and hopefully they'll have some more suggestions for us.
posted by backseatpilot at 7:50 AM on November 10, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
First, do you have only one litterbox? I've seen incidences where a dominant cat will be a bully about a single litterbox -- it's HIS. Usually I think the suggestion of having one litterbox per cat + 1 is a bit of overkill, but in this type of situation where one of them can't use the box in peace, I would definitely recommend you get a second litterbox and put it out of sight from the other box.
Second, you may want to try Feliway spray or infusers. They have an (undetectable to humans) smell that calms cats down and can help soothe territorial behavior. You can get it online or at any major pet store -- I like the wall infusers (they are like Glade plug-ins), personally. I have used them with my cats with good results.
Third, it's very possible that there will always be a little bit of this behavior where Max is a bully and Doppler tries to stay out of his way. This is true for my two cats -- and they are littermates. The dominant one will boss the submissive one around, play-chase her, play-swat at her, stare her down away from the food dish, etc. She tries to stay out of his way, and will sometimes hiss or smack at him if he gets too much up in her face. They're 6 years old now, and I would say that they have never really gotten along. The submissive one, however, does not let herself get bullied out of having dinner (she'll come back after the piggy is done chowing down, I make sure she gets enough), or using the litterbox. The most she will willingly interact with him is to sniff him periodically, or swat him if he walks by.
Typically, if cats are really dangerous to each other and are likely to do real damage, you will know. Play-fighting and chasing is much different from "I'm gonna kill you, feline" fighting. If there's no growling/yowling and fur-flying, and no one is getting blood-drawn, I would not interfere with spats. Eventually things will even out, Doppler will find better ways to avoid Max, and Max will learn to chill out.
The main concern I have with your post is that Doppler peed on your bed. This is not totally uncommon behavior for a stressed-out cat, but when cats pee outside of the litterbox, ESPECIALLY male cats, you need to keep in mind that urinary-tract blockages are not that uncommon and can be quickly fatal. If you see that peeing outside the box, straining to pee, spending way too much time digging around the litterbox, or licking his privates becomes frequent, you need to take him to the vet, stat.
It's also possible that being bullied away from the litterbox could cause him to hold his urine too long or avoid drinking, which could possibly cause urinary tract problems. Cat pee -- it's stanky but important.
posted by dumbledore69 at 7:25 AM on October 23, 2009