Am I too busy for a relationship or is there a solution?
October 21, 2009 3:02 PM Subscribe
Have you been in a long-distance or otherwise limited romantic relationship that actually worked? Does this solution to my need for space make sense?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (29 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
I'm female and inching toward 30. I want what most people want, which is my dream job and a happy relationship. I've only ever been close to one or the other. I really love my creative career, but it takes a lot of my time. And I'm *happy* during that time! I genuinely love working. But past boyfriends have never understood my devotion to it, and there ends up being a lot of resentment on both sides. I can't blame them. I'm just not cut out for a typical boyfriend/girlfriend thing. I'm always there for people when they really need me. But I don't usually want to stay up all night talking on the phone about nothing in particular, and there are times when I need to postpone Date Night. And a two-week-long vacation? Not relaxing to me.
But when I eschew relationships entirely in favor of my career, that gets a little lonely. I'm starting to wonder if I need to find a man who's just as busy as I am - or someone who lives far enough away that we can only maybe see each other once a month or so. Yeah, once a month is a bit extreme, but I'd rather miss someone and be happy when I see them than feel stifled or make someone else feel unloved. I find men who are incredibly ambitious and career-driven pretty sexy, actually.
Still, I wonder if this sounds great in theory but wouldn't work so well in practice. Have you ever been in a relationship like that? Where both of you were very busy and just saw each other when you could? And you were both *happy* with that?