You got married at what age?
October 20, 2009 1:44 PM Subscribe
I’m in the process of divorcing, and starting to date seriously again. The catch: I’m absurdly young to be in this situation. How and when to break the news to dates?
posted by ripley_ to Human Relations (24 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Here’s some background info:
I’m 22, male, and in the process of divorcing. I was married at 21 and it only lasted 10 months - we weren’t ready for it, weren't perfect for each other, etc etc. Yes, it was crazy to get married at that age but there were a lot of reasons for it at the time (not great ones in hindsight) and we had been together on and off since early high school.
We split up just over 5 months ago, I instigated it, and while it wasn’t easy it was mostly amicable and there is hardly any bad blood. The breakup had been brewing for at least 3-4 months before that, so I’ve had a lot of time to come to terms with it. Unfortunately, we can’t get divorced until we’ve been separated for a year due to provincial law.
So here’s the problem: I just met someone who I’m really interested in, we talked for a couple hours at a mutual friend’s party, and we’re going on a date this Friday. I’d like to be completely honest about my situation, but I’d also like to put my best foot forward because let's face it, this is really weird for people my age.
I’m thinking that I’ll mention that the marriage was short, ended well, and the divorce isn’t finalized for purely legal reasons. I’ll also mention that I’m done with the rebound relationship stage*. Maybe I’ll even mention that some good came of it - now I think more before making commitments.
So, MeFi - can you think of anything else I could say to make this less off-putting? Is this way too much information for a (sort of) second date? Is there a best time to mention this during the date, or should I risk saying it before/after the date? Any help or advice would be very much appreciated!
*Really, I am. The end of the marriage was obvious months before it happened, I've dated casually since, and even had some NSA fun that ultimately made me snap out of the "I'll date or sleep with anything!" mindset. "Give yourself more time"-type answers are respectfully declined.