Diarrhea...Phobia?

October 19, 2009 12:03 AM

Help me survive my last year of high school as a student prone to frequent anxiety attacks and major senioritis.

My life revolves around my bowl movements. Fear of using public restrooms snowballed into an anxiety I deal with almost on a daily basis. The few times I had food-related diarrhea in public feared the 10-year-old me into attempts of avoiding future incidents at all cost, mostly out of embarrassment of stinking up the ladies' room. (Note: I have a hard time peeing in public, too.)

Ironically, the same fear gives me diarrhea anyways. I naturally started fearing stomach pains and going out in public. With every panic attack solidifying my fear, it's virtually impossible to break out of it alone at this point. As a result, I spend most of my time housebound.

To make my situation seem less stupid, I'm possibly predisposed to anxiety to begin with.

Unfortunately, school is the only place I cannot avoid. Anxiety aside, I'm failing easy "fill-in" classes because I don't give a rat's ass about them. I can't help but feel a bit depressed about my current situation as I'm stuck waiting to grow a little bit more in order to quality to take the GED.

My high school counselor had been less than helpful, and my parents are semi-reluctant to believe that I have a mental illness (cultural thing, I guess). I finally convinced them to take me to a doctor, but they're dead set on dragging me back to a pubic school tomorrow. I can feel a gigantic panic attack looming over the horizon.

So in the meanwhile, what can I do to make the next couple months of my existence more tolerable during school hours? I'll try anything, and thank you in advance.

posted by Yasuo to health & fitness (10 comments total)

If counseling/therapy isn't going to happen right now, then maybe think about the practical things you can do directly about the anxiety. Sit next to the doorway in every classroom so you know you can get out easily if you need to. Carry a spray air freshener in your backpack if you think that could help (Trader Joe's has some small bottles that wouldn't be really conspicuous to others if they happened to see it in your bag, or you could even just grab something from Bath & Body Works or the like that's meant to be a body spray). Try some deep, focused breaths (count while you breathe in and out) when you feel the anxiety/panic on its way--talk to yourself in your head in a calm way, tell yourself you know you'll be ok and will get through it (because you have gotten through it before, and you have been just fine... focus on the times you have been successful at controlling your bowel movements, because you've been successful much more often than not!).

Try to become more aware of your body sensations and what your body is communicating to you--if you can help yourself to calm down, you might very well be able to calm down your stomach and not feel so out of control.
posted by so_gracefully at 12:37 AM on October 19

Ipod to listen to when you're going to the bathroom. Close your eyes and imagine you're at home. Does your school have no single-occupancy bathrooms? Nearly all schools have at least one. If not, find the least-used bathroom. My school had a bathroom on the second floor of the theater that I don't think most people even knew existed, so I felt like there was more privacy there.

If you are actually experiencing frequent, difficult to control diarrhea, could there be a reason for that beyond the anxiety? Maybe a food issue? Does Pepto Bismol help? How about Immodium? Or, if you're just experiencing vague stomach pains, ask yourself how often they actually result in diarrhea, and focus on that.

How easy is it for you to get home from school if you start to feel ill?

I'm sorry you're in this situation. It's really uncomfortable. You can definitely overcome it.
posted by prefpara at 2:26 AM on October 19

Definitely talk to the doctor about Irritable bowel syndrome when you see him/her. Some believe there is a psychosomatic link. Perhaps if your doctor is able to put your problem in terms of a physical ailment requiring stress-reduction therapy and possibly anti-depressants, your parents will be more accepting of getting treatment for you.

Best of luck. I have similar problems and it's especially tough in high school bathrooms. The comforting thing is that everyone has at one point in their life made some disgusting sound and/or smell in a public restroom, and most of us think, 'Aw, poor person' rather than 'OMG! What a horrible thing to do' when someone else does it.

Also, flushing the toilet before you go can help cover any noise (provided it's a loud, long-flushing toilet).
posted by brambory at 4:06 AM on October 19

Slightly different situation: I roomed with a coworker at conferences who brought her own mini bottle of neutralizing spray with her- she said she couldn't stand the thought of stinking up a bathroom and others having to smell it. Would that help at all?
posted by variella at 6:55 AM on October 19

I used to really try to go every morning before school and I also located the least used bathrooms around the building. Also, my school had some handicap accessable bathrooms that were one room / one person deals, so they felt more private. Check out your school bathroom options.

That said - I do not mean to make you more nervous, just giving you an "I wish I knew..." tip. If you are going away to college, look at the on-campus living option's bathrooms - they vary greatly and can make you feel fine or perpetually scummy.
posted by WeekendJen at 7:04 AM on October 19

Yesterday in the grocery store (either by the toilet paper or the bathroom cleaner) I saw a little bottle of neutralizing drops to sprinkle in the toilet.

You might also want to get yourself a bottle of Kaopectate, an over-the-counter diarrhea medicine. My anxiety causes me similar....ailments....so let's just say I drank the stuff three times a day during my last two weeks of high school. Of course, you should follow the directions on the bottle.

As for the senioritis, there is no cure except graduation. Remind yourself that it's a means to an end -- if you're going to college, then one year from now you'll be there. Most universities (and even community colleges) have resources that can help you with anxiety issues. You'll be able to take yourself there to get the help you need without anyone minimizing or dismissing your issues.
posted by motsque at 7:07 AM on October 19

Definitely see a doctor. You might also consider talking to the school counselors. They might be able to help you with your anxiety, and they'll be able to talk to teachers for you about having the seat near the door and being allowed to leave whenever necessary.

About school: I did pretty badly in high school (I was absent the maximum amount of days allowed my senior year). I'm doing pretty well in college now, and I think it's because of the different mindset. In high school, you have to go. In college, it's optional. I want to do well, so I show up for classes and do the work. Do you have any ideas about what you'd like to do after high school? What do you enjoy doing most? The choice of classes is more limited in high school than in college, but if you can take classes in subjects you're interested in, you may have an easier time doing well. You're failing the easy classes because you don't care about them-- are there any classes you can take that you would care about?

I would recommend forming some sort of idea, however vague, about what you'd like out of life (if you haven't already) and working toward it. Think about what you want to do after high school- community college is one option (you can also enter a four-year college from there), or going straight into the workforce is another. You could work for a while, and then go to college if you feel like it later. You asked how to make the next few months bearable- I think that looking at it in the context of your life and future might make it a little bit easier for you.

In short: doctor, school counselors, life goals. Yoga and meditation are also very helpful for anxiety.
posted by Baethan at 7:29 AM on October 19

I am really glad you're getting your parents to take you to the doctor. See if you can talk to the doctor alone or call him/her beforehand, so he can tell your parents with doctorly authority that you NEED therapy and he can put it into physical terms they might be more comfortable with.
In the meantime maybe this story will help. many years ago when I was in junior high school (and it was a very socially rigid school) a girl let out an enormous fart in class. But before anyone could say or even think anything, she loudly said with a cool shrug, "So what? Every human being farts!" Everyone was silent and no one could argue with that. After that, she always seemed incredibly cool and independent to me.
Try thinking to yourself: So what? Every human being makes stinky poop!!!
posted by keener_sounds at 7:45 AM on October 19

fwiw, taking acidophilus tends to help me with stressed-induced digestion issues.
posted by egg drop at 3:44 PM on October 19

Oh honey, I'm sorry. I experienced the same thing. If this problem persists and you're considering college, please be sure to request a room with a private bathroom. When I got to college and had to share a bathroom with every girl on the floor... that's when MY poopshyness got the best of me. The small spray bottle of air freshener is a great idea, I also took to leaving a faucet running whenever possible to mask the sound. I still suffer from this shyness sometimes, but I did some things that made my life a little easier. For one, I eat a lot of fiber. It regulates you, and if you can get in the habit of using the bathroom right before school or right after then you will probably get into that rhythm and not face this issue nearly as much. Have you tried talking to the school nurse? Depending on the attitude and rules, you may be able to convince them to let you use their private restroom (my school had one, don't know about yours) if the need ever arises. Feel free to tell them all about your anxiety, or, shoot make something up if you need to.

Of course, what will be best for you in the long run is just to acclimate yourself to having these normal bodily functions in public. The iPod suggestion is a good one, too, I used that sometimes to help me forget about other people being around. Just do as much as you can, whenever you can. Flush multiple times if need be, hum to yourself, spray a lot of perfume or listen to music. The bottom line is that the more you do it, the easier it will be.

Also just remember that EVERYBODY POOPS. I'm in college now, and I can say from experience that I have encountered other people pooping in the bathrooms at school at least once a week. Anybody who says anything negative would be crazy and you're allowed to treat them as such. What would be the worst case scenario? Someone would say "EEEEW!"? Respond with "OH AS IF YOUR POOP SMELLS LIKE ROSES".

Don't overthink it, and you can always try using public restrooms at places like the mall to help you get used to it. (I know one of my fears was always that someone would recognize my shoes and be able to tell that it was me stinkin' up the bathroom)

Good Luck!
posted by wild like kudzu at 4:09 PM on October 19