Honey, sometimes I have a hard time...Ooooh shiny!

October 18, 2009 5:30 AM

Relationship filter: He's an Austrian in Austria, I'm an American in America, and I have ADHD/Inattentive type. He's not familiar with this concept. What books can I suggest to him?

Bonus points if these books are written in German. He reads for pleasure in English, but it's not his first language.

Books could be about Women with ADHD, how ADHD affects relationships, or just a basic, What is ADHD? type book.

If left to my own devices I'd send him Sari Solden's book about women with ADHD, but it's a little...long, and not quite as focused on the positive as I would like. I just started reading The Gift of Adult ADD, I think I like it.

I mentioned my diagnosis to him a few months ago and he was puzzled. We're at the 6 month point in our relationship, and I think it would be good for him to understand a bit more about me, regardless of where this relationship is headed in the super long term.

You see, I'm still coming to terms with this diagnosis myself. I haven't gotten to acceptance yet, but I'm doing a pretty good job working on anger with some occassional bargaining. My medication is mostly worked out. I have a daily schedule that I slowly add things to - make the bed, how to clean the kitchen, when to leave the house to catch the bus on time, what needs to be in my bag for work.

And hey, any helpful strategies for me would be great, too!

posted by bilabial to human relations (7 comments total)

Scattered by Gabor Mate. You can read excerpts online at that link.
posted by alicat at 6:45 AM on October 18

It's not a book, but has he thought of just reading the German Wikipedia page? At the bottom is a list of links to German and European "ADHS" organizations, and maybe those organizations have book recommendations.
posted by creasy boy at 7:45 AM on October 18

Edward Hallowell's books have been incredibly helpful to me. This appears to be the German translation of Driven to Distraction: Zwanghaft zerstreut.
posted by ocherdraco at 7:51 AM on October 18 [2 favorites]

Get ALL of Hallowell's books. They were a Godsend when we first started dealing with our son's diagnosis years ago.
posted by cooker girl at 8:40 AM on October 18

I third the recommendations for Hallowell's books. If you've not read them yourself, you should do so!
posted by drlith at 10:27 AM on October 18

I found this on amazon.de - "Wir fühlen uns anders! Wie betroffene Erwachsene mit ADS/ADHS sich selbst und ihre Partnerschaft erleben" - (We feel differently - how adults with AD(H)D think about themselves and their relationships) - I haven't read the book, but it has good Amazon reviews and was apparently written exactly for your specific problem (i.e. explaining the AD(H)D personality type/disorder to significant others who have a hard time understanding what's going on).
It seems geared towards the positive, as you put it, but not as completely as other books in that genre.
posted by The Toad at 9:14 AM on October 19

Resolved because he dumped me.

Phooey.

At least I can kind of order a quick breakfast (or lunch, or dinner) in German if I need to.
posted by bilabial at 8:17 PM on October 31