How much yelling is okay for kids to be exposed to?
October 12, 2009 5:55 PM Subscribe
Being a parent. What's appropriate in terms of displaying emotions? Of course, more inside.
posted by anonymous to human relations (51 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
We have a kid. We also both have tempers (with each other, with life). I have a belief that we should not let our tempers get the best of us in front of kid (age 1). My husband doesn't view his temper in the negative way that I do (and never has, even though I've discussed it with him quite a bit). I have asked him to not raise his voice in front of kid. I am worried about the short and long-term effect that this display of "negative emotions" may have on our kid. (Question #1 = is this display of emotion bad for kid? Am I overreacting?) Kid has already begun to react a bit when kid hears arguing, or at least I believe this to be the case.
I grew up in a house with NO showing of emotions, so my own compass on how much "temper expression" is perhaps out-of-whack. How much is okay? (Question #2) (Example: is it okay to yell at other drivers in front of kid? Yell at a football game screw up? What about mommy and daddy disagreeing about something that goes beyond discussion into debate into argument territory?)
If this is in fact a bad thing, any books or other resources that can help us (and especially my husband) understand alternative ways to deal with our emotions (This is question #3)? And question #4, how can I get my husband to understand that it is a bad thing? (When kid is a little older and reacts more strongly to yelling may this do the trick to show my husband that this is a bad thing?) Is therapy a good idea? For the 85% of the time that he is a great dad, it isn't worth DTMFA on something that we can work on. And question #5, if this isn't a bad thing, how can I adjust my reactions to his temper?