Need ideas for a NSFW Halloween costume!

October 5, 2009 12:10 PM

Need ideas for a NSFW Halloween costume!

Posting this as anon because, well, the idea of this question forever being connected with my user name gives me pause :)

Halloween is coming up, and I need some costume ideas! The unofficial theme for the party I am going to is basically tasteful nudity. (By way of example, one of my friends is going to wear footie pajamas with the butt flap hanging open.)

I am totally at a loss as to what I am going to wear, so I turn to the creative hive mind once again. Some broad guidelines to hopefully help narrow the suggestions down:

- The party is gay / gay-friendly, with about an even split of men and women
- I am a guy, am gay, and 28
- I am at least a little demure, so let's avoid costumes that require full front nudity - everything else is fine
- It's going to be a long night, so it would be best if the costume was not too bulky, cumbersome, etc.
- Arts & crafts is not my strong specialty, so the simpler the better


Look forward to your ideas, MeFi!

posted by anonymous to clothing, beauty, & fashion (40 comments total)

My favorite tasteful nudity costume was a guy who came wearing a fill suit... but without any back to it. That is, if you saw him from the front he was wearting a suit: pants, shirt, tie, jacket. If you saw him from teh back, all he was wearing were a few straps that held the front part of the suit on. He said it wasn't that hard to make... some elastic sewn into half of a suit. The effect was really cool. I think he wore full shoes.
posted by jessamyn at 12:15 PM on October 5 [3 favorites]

Being totally nude & taping a condom to your nose so that when someone asks you what you came as you can say 'Fuck nose!' is going to be too much isn't it? Only fails on #3 really...
posted by i_cola at 12:18 PM on October 5

Very sexy UPS delivery guy?

brown shorts as short as possible, matching brown button-up, but cut the sleeves off and leave it unbuttoned. Then fashion a box that is attached to your crotch, put your junk in the box through a hole.

Ask people if they'd like your package, to sign for your package, etc.
posted by dnesan at 12:19 PM on October 5 [7 favorites]

Attach the head of a hobby horse to a jockstrap (facing outward).

Put on jockstrap and a pair of Harry Potter glasses.

And voila, you're Daniel Radcliffe in Equus (NSFW)
posted by dersins at 12:19 PM on October 5 [2 favorites]

The funniest I've ever seen was a guy in chef's apron and hat (nothing else, of course) and a pancake spatula in his hand.
posted by Carmody'sPrize at 12:21 PM on October 5

Is going as Tarzan in a loin cloth too obvious?
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 12:22 PM on October 5 [1 favorite]

You could wear a stuffed speedo and paint your bare body with old school WW2 battle schematics, all armies converging towards your crotch, and be The Battle of the Bulge.

A friend of mine did this last year (although clothed) and covered his outfit with little green plastic army men and little tanks and planes. But it could be pretty easily done to promote nudity...
posted by np312 at 12:23 PM on October 5 [6 favorites]

Wear a trench coat with nothing underneath. Put a picture of Abe Vigoda over your junk.
posted by bondcliff at 12:24 PM on October 5

Also, don't forget The Naked Cowboy
posted by np312 at 12:25 PM on October 5

Dick in a Box.
posted by iamabot at 12:27 PM on October 5 [1 favorite]

Bonus related thought for a dude with an exhibitionist streak: Cow suit, but cut off one of the udders and use the resultan hole to provide a personal substitute. I gotta imagine you could get a block, block and a half before being arrested/punched out.
posted by kenko at 12:34 PM on October 5

Sexy mailman delivering a dick in a box.
posted by mdonley at 12:34 PM on October 5

Do you have to do a male character? A lot of female super heroes are tastefully semi nude
posted by stormpooper at 12:42 PM on October 5

If you have three guy friends willing to play along, you could be the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

For something a little more modest, you could recreate this image of David Hasselfoff.
posted by Metroid Baby at 12:44 PM on October 5 [1 favorite]

Get an oak leaf, attach it to some neutral briefs, and you're Adam!

Bonus points for dressing up someone else with a blonde wig, a stuffed snake, and an apple.
posted by juliplease at 12:51 PM on October 5

sexy baby
posted by CharlesV42 at 12:57 PM on October 5

Piggybacking on jessamyn, you could go around all night saying "I thought that this was a semi-formal dress event."
posted by dr. boludo at 1:00 PM on October 5 [1 favorite]

Make your own Lady Gaga-esq bubble outfit from water balloons (they're more durable, and will be smaller than your typical balloon).
posted by filthy light thief at 1:17 PM on October 5 [1 favorite]

Halloween? It should be a severed dick in a box -- a little fake blood, etc., or a spring-loaded snake in a box for anyone who tries to see what they figure will be your dick in a box.
posted by pracowity at 1:19 PM on October 5 [1 favorite]

Go in just your bathing suit and bring a handful of washable markers. Invite everyone project their NSFW-ness onto you, and before long you'll have an excellent passed-out-at-the-party costume.
posted by hermitosis at 1:35 PM on October 5 [2 favorites]

This isn't NSFW because of nudity, but years ago a friend of mine showed up at one of our Halloween parties wearing dark sunglasses, carrying a white-tipped cane, with his skin made up like acne. He went around the party shaking hands, thereby revealing the fake hair he'd glued to his palms. Anybody who didn't get it he introduced himself to as "Mr. Bator."
posted by jocelmeow at 1:38 PM on October 5

Skin-toned body suit = Ken doll!

Technically not nudity, but funny enough that I doubt anyone would mind.

(This also works for the Adam costume)
posted by natabat at 1:56 PM on October 5 [1 favorite]

Dress like The Joker, but hang your plums out of your pants covered in saran wrap.

Everyone will clearly see your/you're nuts.
posted by MuffinMan at 2:12 PM on October 5

What about the classic I'm-so-poor-I-have-to-wear-a-barrel look?

All you should need is a barrel, some suspenders, and maybe a flesh colored speedo (optional, I suppose.)
posted by quin at 2:12 PM on October 5

And to take the barrel from NSFW but tasteful to something else entirely, all you would need to do is add in a knothole at an appropriate height.

Tasteful to tasteless with one well placed holesaw cut.
posted by quin at 2:15 PM on October 5

Get an oak leaf, attach it to some neutral briefs, and you're Adam!

Or a YATTA! guy. You too can be the wad of dough.

Or paint yourself blue, go shirtless and wearing white tights, and voila! You're a smurf. If you have personal interests that suit, you could go as [INTEREST]-ey Smurf. Or, depending on how out and, well, flamboyant you are, you could go as Queery Smurf or Gay-ey Smurf or Fabulous Smurf or whatever. Or, completely irrespective of being gay, you could stuff your tights* and go as Massively Hung Smurf.

*or just have a huge penis, if you do, but really Massively Hung Smurf's equipment should be physiologically impossible.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:28 PM on October 5

Dr. Manhattan! Black jockstrap, blue bodypaint and you're sorted.
posted by black_ant at 2:54 PM on October 5 [1 favorite]

Michael Phelps: Speedo, goggles, swim cap, bong.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:02 PM on October 5

How about a Bruno costume with velcro flaps?
posted by Hardcore Poser at 3:28 PM on October 5

I saw a costume that consisted of a lot of green balloons, and she said she was a bunch of grapes. This could work with nothing on underneath, and still be pretty tasteful.
posted by megatherium at 3:51 PM on October 5

Hospital robe. Just-delivered infant.
posted by callmejay at 3:58 PM on October 5

Upside-down Pinocchio. One of my friends did this for a party in college and it was fantastic. He traced Pinocchio's face onto some cardboard, gave it a nose made from a cardboard paper towel tube, put it you know where, and then made felt "hands" to wear on his feet and "shoes" to wear on his hands. Paired with a red shirt and yellow shorts, it all comes together as soon as you raise your hands in the air. If you're skilled at doing handstands, Pinocchio could occasionally be rightside up.
posted by MsMolly at 5:16 PM on October 5 [2 favorites]

Wear nothing except a potato, hanging around your waist, covering your junk.

You're a dictator.
posted by i love cheese at 5:55 PM on October 5

if you can sew or know someone who can, get some fuzzy appropriate-flesh-colored fabric and do a fake naked suit like the ones in this terrifying yet strangely (technically) SFW picture.
posted by rmd1023 at 6:02 PM on October 5

Tuxedo thong.
posted by fings at 7:19 PM on October 5

Howzabout a kilt worn in the, ahhh, traditional manner. Bonus points for a blue ribbon...
posted by 1f2frfbf at 6:09 AM on October 6

Noted from another thread, there is a sew-your-own penis costume at the bottom of this page.
posted by jessamyn at 9:22 AM on October 6

You could go as a "hoe"

Yellow cardboard box with a window
Pipe or something similar attached to backhoe-scoop-cutout cardboard box
Construction hat
posted by Khazk at 7:34 PM on October 6

I once saw a man in a cassock and collar with the back a bit open (think hospital gown-like peekaboo) which revealed his hot pink thong and and purple bra...not super-nsfw, but naughty.
posted by Bergamot at 12:08 AM on October 7

A bit late here, but you could go as a member of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, you'd only need a sock.
posted by splatta at 6:56 AM on October 18