Help me de-hair down there

October 1, 2009 5:36 PM

I need tips for how to shave (or otherwise make hairless) my male genital area?

For a number of reasons (gray hair down there that makes me look prematurely old, many women seem to be more interested in performing fellatio without the hair, etc) I shave my pubic hair. But the problems I have with it are becoming almost not worth it...

First I get ingrown hairs regularly. You don't know worry until you have an infected ingrown hair on a testicle and have to lance it and consider going to the doctor to show him your shaved scrotum).

Second, the itch factor after a couple of days is ridiculous. As it is time consuming to shave I can't do it often enough to avoid all itch, but sometimes the itch is so bad it keeps me awake at night.

I have searched MeFi and seen that using Nair is not a good option. I'm considering the waxing strips but with the loose skin on a testicle I'm not sure if it even works nor how much it would hurt, and for the ingrown hairs I can't imagine using a luffa on my testicles.

Please help me MeFites! I have a date coming up where I need to take my pants down in front of a new woman coming up and I don't want sores or gray pubes!

posted by anonymous to clothing, beauty, & fashion (23 comments total)

There is a procedure colloquially called "back sac and crack" which is basically the male equivalent of a bikini wax and can be procured at many nail salons and similar establishments if you are brave...
posted by Maias at 5:41 PM on October 1

A few things.

1. Not all women actually like hairless men. In fact, some find it downright creepy.

2. Have you considered just keeping it tidy, neatly trimmed and/or coloring your gray hairs?

3. I would not use wax strips on your testicles. It can feel really similar to ripping a band aid off. If you're going to do the wax thing - you're gonna want a professional. I cannot stress this enough.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 5:43 PM on October 1 [5 favorites]

Additionally, as far as the ingrown hairs go - make sure you exfoliate the area regularly.
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 5:48 PM on October 1

As a lady who knows how to wield a mean razor in her nether regions, I offer this advice.

Get a good razor with new blades (Mach3 is pretty much the best invention ever) and start shaving the region you want to expose to your new lady friend a week or so leading up to your date. There's a product out there that is supposed to help eliminate rashes, so pick some of that up, too. If you shave the night before and slap that cream on, it's probably not going to do you any good. Get your man parts used to the fresh air for a couple of weeks, slap on the cream and you should be good to go.

And always shave in the direction that the hair grows. If you don't, you're basically begging for hair zits.
posted by Threestigmata at 5:48 PM on October 1

What I do:

Use a beard trimmer to get all the hair to a manageable length. Get in the shower and after a few minutes lather. Use a Mach 3 razor to shave. I don't know if you've ever used one, but it's the best razor I've ever used. Gillette spent over a billion dollars on R&D designing that thing - it shows.

If you're feeling adventurous use the vibrating Mach 3.

In my years manipulating and taking sharp objects to my junk I've found that the shower is key.

Godspeed.
posted by ASM at 5:54 PM on October 1 [2 favorites]

Shave the bag, trim everything else to a #1 on a set of clippers.

This is the fastest and most effective method you can avoid either extreme and still maintain comfort.
posted by milqman at 5:56 PM on October 1 [1 favorite]

i prefer the bead trimmer to straight up shaving.

just like with any other personal grooming, some girls will like shaving/trimming and some girls won't. if you like you better without hair, you'll find a girl that likes you that way too.
posted by nadawi at 5:56 PM on October 1

Speaking as someone who likes things shaved ...

When I asked how he got it so smooth I was told:

1) warm water
2) Mach 3 (or 4)
3) The foofiest women's shaving cream you can find- Sensitive skin, Aloe vera, Vitamin E, whatever.

Good luck.

This information does not apply to chest shaving. I don't know anything about that as I disapprove of it generally.
posted by small_ruminant at 6:04 PM on October 1

Gillette Mach Three or Gillette Fusion highly recommended.

Equal time comment: He didn't ask for opinions on what his girl should like.
posted by Zambrano at 6:08 PM on October 1

One woman's perspective (since you mentioned some women's preferences): as I prefer not to get a mouthful of hairs when I'm going down on a guy, I thank you for your courtesy. My experience is that trimming is just fine for me and guys really don't have to shave.

But while you seem to want the results of shaving, you don't seem to want to do the whole intricate job as often as needed. So skip shaving entirely. If you find the job too detailed to do as often as needed to keep you smooth, much of the shaving advice you've been offered here probably won't help you out.

If trimming would be acceptable to you, I would suggest trimming back your pubic thatch. Trim your ballsack if it looks especially shaggy in comparison.

If any of the trimmed hair looks distressingly grey to you (my opinion: if you're in your 40s or older, it's cool and normal, and if you're younger, you're a neat early greyer), either pluck those few stray hairs, or dye as much as you need. Depending on how easy it is to match your base color, this may be patches or your entire pubic thatch. This page gives some basic direction, and if you're up to it, you can buy dye made just for that area. Shipping takes 2-5 business days, 2-3 days for priority, so I don't know if that's too much of a wait for you.
posted by rosebuddy at 6:20 PM on October 1 [1 favorite]

There are good products out there to treat ingrown hair in the genital regions. TendSkin and BikiniZone are two that are widely available in the US. Also, exfoliating gently before shaving seems to help prevent ingrown hair.

But the problems I have with it are becoming almost not worth it...

So don't do it, then. Neatly trimmed pubes are more attractive than bumpy, infected-ingrown-hair scrota and groins, in this lady's opinion.
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:31 PM on October 1

a new woman

You don't know what she likes. Do what is comfortable and healthy for you until she says "Actually, I prefer the bare and scabby look."
posted by Meg_Murry at 6:35 PM on October 1 [1 favorite]

n'thing trimming over probably-infected ingrown nether regions. Use a body groomer such as those hawked in funny commercials by Phillips. Follow suggestions above if your partner really makes a big fuss about it.
posted by mezamashii at 7:18 PM on October 1 [1 favorite]

Philips Body Groom. Can do a very neat trim that should be less itchy than an overgrown shave.
posted by slow graffiti at 7:22 PM on October 1

Wow, I'm surprised no one has mentioned grabbing the skin of the ballsack between your fingers and stretching it out. This helps get a smoother shave and (so I'm told) is more comfortable. (I do not own a penis.)
posted by desjardins at 7:29 PM on October 1

Also, to avoid ingrown hairs: 1) fresh razorblade 2) hot shower 3) cold water IMMEDIATELY afterwards, to close the pores.
posted by desjardins at 7:30 PM on October 1

From the Salon archives: Porn star hair removal secrets.
(via this much older thread on the same topic.)
posted by brownpau at 7:51 PM on October 1

It's the same as shaving anywhere else (razor, cream, patience), and yeah desjardins is right: pulling things tight makes it a whole lot easier and safer. You have to be careful, of course, but no more careful than you are working around your adam's apple, for example.

I agree the beard clippers are easier for the large pelvic parts, and who needs that hairless anyway, but they're unwieldy around the dangly bits.

I've used the girlfriend's Nair or Neet or whatever that hair-removing cream is called a couple of times, the first time on a whim when she left it in the shower. The bottle says it's "not recommended" for such sensitive areas, but I think that's because they're afraid of it getting inside to some, um, internal area... I imagine that would hurt. But it's worked great the couple of times I have done it on the testicle region alone. Baby smooth and no razor burns or scrapes.

And IME, those women who are really into oral sex love it shaved or very-short; those who aren't much into oral don't care either way, naturally. If it's a chore to them, it's a chore either way.
posted by rokusan at 8:27 PM on October 1

I second the Philips Body Groom - it's designed for this. It's great for both trimming and closer shaving, although the balls are the one thing it's hard to use on. You can at least get close with it then finish off with a razor if desired.

Do you use lotion or anything after? I only trim/shave about once a week and as long as I do it at least that regularly I don't get the extreme itching you describe. I wonder if you're razor burning yourself? Do you need to change blades more often?
posted by dnash at 9:25 PM on October 1

Exactly as NSFW as it sounds: How to Epilady Your Testicles.

With the caveat that I own neither testicles nor epilady.
posted by gingerbeer at 10:04 PM on October 1

Don't shave it bald, just use a beard trimmer.
posted by turgid dahlia at 10:20 PM on October 1

I have to reiterate what milqman said: trim the upper part with a hair buzzer clipper thing, and shave the ballsack with a good razor and lots of shaving cream in the shower. And like desjardins said, grab the scrote and stretch it out; it only takes a couple of times before you get used to it. If you shave the upper area you're going to end up looking like a tool.
posted by Dr. Send at 11:03 PM on October 1 [1 favorite]

Be judicious in your choice of underwear. Pay special attention to type and position of elastic material. And loofah, dude.

Over and out.
posted by Duke999R at 2:58 AM on October 2