Need to get rid of squirrels

December 29, 2004 10:34 AM

Any help and insight on the following:
Diogenes Syndrome. Geriatric self-neglect. My dad's house is inhabited by 8-12 squirrels (estimate), he won't let us in the house and I'm the last one of five sons to confront the immediate issue. He's lucid, 82. Help!
posted by nj_subgenius to home & garden (19 answers total)

Okay, you need to provide some more information. Would your dad let you in the house under ordinary circumstances? Does he not want you to enter the house and deal with the squirrels because he's paranoid about your entering the house? Because he doesn't want you to kill the squirrels? Because he doesn't want you to treat him like a child?

Does your dad think of the squirrels as pets? Is he happy with the squirrel situation as it is, or would he prefer to deal with it in his own way? Is he a radical ecologist?

Why are you worried about the squirrels? Are they presenting a health hazard? Are they damaging the infrastructure of the house?
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:47 AM on December 29, 2004

Also: Has he started hoarding stuff (including but not limited to squirrels)? How long has he lived alone? What kind of relationship has he had with the five boys up to now? Does he ever leave the house -- errands, visits to friends, etc.? What's his social network like? Is there anyone he allows in the house? When did this start?

Nothing confuses (then clarifies) like a barrage of questions.
posted by vetiver at 10:57 AM on December 29, 2004

In Indiana (where you're located; most other states have similar services), the best resource probably is the Adult Protective Services of whatever county your father lives in. Here's the APS page for Monroe County. Basically, the government can intervene to protect an adult incapble "of either managing his/her property, or caring for himself/herself or both".

Also on that page:

"An individual who believes or has reason to believe that another individual is an endangered adult and is the victim of battery, abuse, or exploitation is required by law to make a report to law enforcement, Adult Protective Services or through the APS Hotline [phone]." [The hotline is for the entire state.]

So - is your father fond of squirrels (and lucid in all other things), or does the fact that he won't let his kids into the house indicate a more serious problem?

Or - why don't you call and bring the situation to the attention of someone (APS) who has the resources to fully assess the system?
posted by WestCoaster at 10:57 AM on December 29, 2004

Have you contacted the local area animal control? Your local television stations which loves those "feel good" stories of the community pitching in to help those in need?

Then again, we'll need a bit more info like Sidhedevil said.
posted by icontemplate at 10:58 AM on December 29, 2004

Thanks all for your posts. Let me answer the questions I can:

No, he hasn't let us in the house for six months or so, but it's not a pitched battle. I think he's ashamed of its condition. Two of my brothers sneaked in at different times and that's where the squirrel count comes from, along with a general condition of neglectful squalor.

He clearly thinks of the squirrels as threats. His kitchen is barricaded with chairs where the squirrels are most active. I don't think he is happy at all with the situation. I think he's overwhelmed but very resistant to, and sometimes suspicious of, any help we've volunteered in resolving the problem for him.

There's damage in the kitchen at the very least. Apparently the squirrels have free access to floor and wall voids. I can only assume they present a health hazard (feces & the like) plus squirrels have been known to gnaw electrical wires & thereby cause fires. Most insurance policies won't cover damage from gnawing rodents if the condition has existed for awhile.

As far as I know he does not hoard (I've read enough to assume this is a kind of a red flag for Diogenes syndrome) but he is apparently neglecting his hygiene when he believes he can. When he sees me & my kids he is well-dressed and well-groomed.

He's lived alone since late '97 when my mom passed. For 5-6 years or so he was doing extremely well. He originally mentioned the problem in late 2003, brought in exterminators and we thought it solved. Since mid 2004 he's denied the existence of the problem and when confronted denied the scope of it.

I contacted a local pest control co., which can do the work over a 2 week remediation period, but as to damage, filth, etc., they do not cover it. That's another issue, then there could be continuing care, either by us or by professionals, or perhaps trying to get him to an apt. with a maid or an assisted living facility.

Our relationships with my dad vary from pretty good to awful, depending on the sibling. He's probably most open to me. As to public health authorities, that's 'Plan B' if he won't/can't accept what needs to be done. But I think this is more than procrastination and less than dementia. I think he's depressed. He hasn't regularly seen MDs his whole life, so I don't know if he may have had a small stroke.

That's what I have so far. Have done more Googling than I care to. Think next step is reference section of a good library. Most diagnostic guides are $$ on the web.

3 of my 4 brothers have tried to assist him and haven't succeeded. Now it's my turn. Just trying to do as much homework as possible before I confront him with it, but this time it has to happen. And there's no doubt more to it. Getting a maid perhaps, and then getting him to a neurologist for organic diagnoses and then possibly a psychologist to address emotional/cognitive/mental issues.
posted by nj_subgenius at 12:09 PM on December 29, 2004

PS: Yes, he leaves the house every day to attend mass, goes to his company (where he's been retired for awhile but it's a family business). He has several friends he sees and a girlfriend as sell, but none has come to the house for a whil that I am aware of. Left those details out.
posted by nj_subgenius at 12:14 PM on December 29, 2004

(as well -sorry)
posted by nj_subgenius at 12:15 PM on December 29, 2004

You are going to need some professional help with this one. Start with his primary care physician, and then, if necessary, a lawyer. He may be lucid at times, but it doesn't sound like you are able to be around enough to know whether or not he slips in and out of hallucinogenic episodes, and any sufferer can become VERY good at concealing their true mental state. The good news is - if they do find something wrong - medication can really make a difference. (I know more about this than I ever wished, unfortunately.) Write me if you want to discuss further.
posted by lilboo at 12:17 PM on December 29, 2004

Other possibilities:

AFTD Your Gateway to Help and a Cure

Connections, Volume 9, Number 4 - Alzheimer's Disease Education & Referral Center - ADEAR - A Service of the National Institute

FCA Frontotemporal Dementia

MayoClinic.com - Dementia It's not always Alzheimer's

NORD - National Organization for Rare Disorders, Inc.

Pick's Disease Support Group - Caregiver Stories

UCSF Memory and Aging Center -- Education Frontotemporal Dementia

Yahoo! Groups picks-support

And remember to take care of yourself - dealing with all of this can get you really run down - trust me.

posted by lilboo at 12:25 PM on December 29, 2004

Many thanks lilboo
posted by nj_subgenius at 12:37 PM on December 29, 2004

If he goes to Mass every day, then the first person you may want to speak with about this is his parish priest or another parish official (deacon, pastoral counselor, etc.). Outline the situation, as you understand it, very clearly--don't use diagnostic terms, etc., but report to the priest what you understand to be the state of your father's home. Ask the priest if he will try to encourage your father to meet with you, your brothers, and other interested parties in a structured environment with a social worker or other counselor in attendance.

If the priest is successful in arranging the meeting, meet with a social worker or other counselor who specializes in geriatric mental health in advance for tips and strategies. Make concise summaries of all the information you have about ways to address your father's situation (the "squirrel report", what local home health-care and support services are available, how much a regular cleaning person or service would cost, other housing alternatives, etc., etc.) and bring them with you to the meeting.

Try not to lose your temper. This may be the hardest thing to do.

I have had a similar life experience and it's not easy. Good luck.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:50 PM on December 29, 2004

The easiest way to find a local social worker with experience in geriatric mental health may be to call the local nursing home, ask to speak with their social worker, and ask that person if he or she can recommend some colleagues to you. The clergy at the church your father attends may also have recommendations.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:52 PM on December 29, 2004

You've said that he is usually well-dressed and well groomed when he sees you and your kids - how does he get on with his grandchildren? Are there any kids in the family old enough to go and live with him? Surely that would be a better solution than forcing a paid social worker on him?

His problems probably are caused by depression and loneliness - no matter how often you get to Mass / out of the house, having no choice but to live alone sucks.

My male cousins and older brother each had their turn of about three months+ living with my Grandfather, who was in his eighties (and an extremely "difficult" character - if his children had "sneaked in" to the house they'd run the risk of a pants full of shot).

Obvious benefits - improved mental health - someone there if he does have a heart attack or stroke - kids get to know their GD.
posted by Catch at 4:04 PM on December 29, 2004

My parents recently decided, after thinking it over for many years, to move to a retirement community (coincidentally, in Indianapolis). Moving from a 1600-square-foot house with a half-acre yard, to a two-bedroom apartment in a retirement community, was one of the best things that they've done in quite a while, they concluded (after moving).

The suggestions about trying to involve others (priest, doctor, girlfriend, whatever) seem like good ones to me. But the larger issue seems to be to get your father to a more supportive (and manageable) environment. The squirrels are a symptom of the problem - that he shouldn't be living in the house by himself - and not the problem itself, I think.

One thing that helped in the case of my parents - a lot, I think, but I'll never know for sure - was repeated statements from me and my siblings that we would do whatever was necessary to help my parents make the move. (That and a lot of research to help them find the right retirement community. )

Good luck - it's can be tough for parents to decide that they should rely on their kids for help.
posted by WestCoaster at 4:21 PM on December 29, 2004

What Sidhedevil said. (I could just follow her around MeFi and post that. But that's a little stalker-ish, I think.)

It sounds like your dad needs help and knows it, but he can't accept it from his sons. He'll probably open up more to a trusted outsider, such as the priest.

And I'm sure he's terrified of being hauled off and stuffed into an old-people storage unit. A local social worker will help you keep him as independent as possible, for as long as possible. (There may be city/county/state resources available.)

Definitely consult with professionals to figure out ways to approach problems and potential solutions when talking to your dad. You're trying to take control (in whatever specific and necessary way) and he's gonna fight you.

If you're single, enlist a very solid friend, someone you absolutely and completely trust. When you really truly sincerely want to roll your dad in a rug like a burrito and put him on a transcontinental truck with a false return address, you will need this person. If there's no one in your life right now who seems appropriate, the social worker can recommend a good counselor.

What you're dealing with is both common and unique. The logistics are pretty straightforward; it's the emotional stuff that's fractal.

Post again, please, to let everyone know how it goes. We all wish you well.

On preview: Catch and WestCoaster have good alternative suggestions, reinforcing the underlying truth that, happy or unhappy, every family is different.
posted by vetiver at 4:46 PM on December 29, 2004

Thank you all.
posted by nj_subgenius at 6:37 PM on December 29, 2004

As a neurologist, I see many folks with similar stories, although generally the story is several months more advanced; the person has been persuaded to seek help, or a drastic/dramatic event has occurred that thrust help upon them.

I am sorry to say that most times the culprit is Alzheimer's disease, although of course there is not enough information here to be certain of that.

Enlisting aid from outside the family seems to me to be a good idea. A clergyperson, social worker with geriatric experience, a caring primary care physician are all people who should have experience with this; and may be able to bring to bear some resources and some authority/trust which you alone might not be able to offer.

At some point you will also require the services of professionals: a pest control person, a neurologist, and a psychiatrist; but our detailed professional evaluations and recommendations will be much easier to make with your father's consent and aid.
posted by ikkyu2 at 7:14 PM on December 29, 2004

I really like the clergyperson idea. This is something religion can do really well.
posted by NortonDC at 9:03 PM on December 29, 2004

Squirrels? Wow. My paternal grandfather used to keep squirrels in a drawer in his living room (seriously). We would see them when we went to visit. I was young (very young) and its a cloudy memory - one that probably wouldnt have resurfaced, ever, without reading this post. Sorry I can't offer any advice, but thanks for the memory.
posted by BadSeamus at 12:53 PM on December 30, 2004