ISO: ?WF, 30-45 for !LTR, !F2F, Txt4$$. :)

September 30, 2009 10:29 AM

ISO: ?WF, 30-45 for !LTR, !F2F, Email4$$$. (Help me find a fake girl/ladyfriend!)

Right, so I'm interested in hiring someone to be a 'fake girlfriend'. I'm looking for an email/txt a day, maybe one call and flirty picture a week. I don't want to meet this person, don't want a real relationship, and have real money to spend. I'm divorced, travel for work, and was hoping for a shortcut to some emotional companionship.

I can't find anything on ebay and my web searches are clogged with call girls and arranged marriages. I posted an ad on my local CL and got a half-dozen messages calling me a loser and a couple of hookup requests from dudes. *sigh* Now I turn to you, Ask.

Does such a thing exist? Has anyone tried this? How can I make this happen?

posted by anonymous to human relations (28 comments total)

Hell, I'll do it - how much do you pay?
posted by Dee Xtrovert at 10:31 AM on September 30

Damn, I'll do it too. You can multiple fake girlfriends (assuming we're all in different area codes, of course).
posted by sephira at 10:36 AM on September 30

Put it on jobs here - I bet someone would be interested.
posted by fermezporte at 10:37 AM on September 30

On a serious note, I'm not sure there's really a market for this. Perhaps try something on OKCupid?
posted by sephira at 10:37 AM on September 30

On a serious note, I'll do it. I work pretty cheap.
posted by craven_morhead at 10:41 AM on September 30 [1 favorite]

MeFi mail me if you're still looking.
posted by Space Kitty at 10:41 AM on September 30

I'll do it in in exchange for you sending flowers to my office once a month, if that's really all you want.

But I think you may want to think seriously about what you mean by "emotional companionship." Will talking on the phone with a stranger and getting text messages that say "Hi Honey, I miss you!" from someone who doesn't know you, let alone miss you, really satisfy whatever need is going unfulfilled in your life? If so, why?
posted by decathecting at 10:46 AM on September 30

Second Life is a haven for such activity.
posted by RedEmma at 10:47 AM on September 30

I'm going to answer the first question asked, & say:

no. Such a thing does not exist, because:

You're wanting to pay for (a shortcut to!) "emotional companionship". If you mean fake companionship, then yeah, that exists, but a real emotional connection can't be had on the parameters you list. You can definitely get some flirty txts!!1! though; just don't invest much in the connection. That seems like it could lead to sad times.
posted by opossumnus at 10:48 AM on September 30

by this, i mean there are "escorts" who do this (for pretty cheap, being linden dollars), and plenty of relationships that fall all over the scale from real to fake. you can do voice, you can be whoever you want, and you can set the terms of your relationship/s very clearly.

gmail accounts using your avatar name can even add the dimension of camming, should you so choose.
posted by RedEmma at 10:50 AM on September 30

You could look into the area of "cam girls". Some of them might be up for it.
posted by digividal at 10:51 AM on September 30

I think you need a respected professional dominatrix to give you a referral to someone reputable who can do a good job of this for you.

I can't think of any other way to guarantee you end up contracting someone reliable for this job. Plus, if a dominatrix is "overseeing" or somehow associated with the endeavor, your "GF" is less likely to flake on her duties and obligations towards you.

Lastly. Despite the stereotypes people (or you) might hold regarding professional domination, most established and respected pro dommes are super adept at understanding exactly what you want (including the level and quality of contact) and making sure that experience is fulfilled. This is especially helpful if you are looking for something ongoing, which you are.

MeMail if you need further info on how to find someone to facilitate your request.

Best.
posted by jbenben at 10:54 AM on September 30 [1 favorite]

PS....

You know how most of the answers above are half serious or whatever?

That's why you need to get in touch with the right folks. Your request is NOT that odd.

Really.
posted by jbenben at 10:59 AM on September 30

another volunteer here!
posted by msconduct at 11:01 AM on September 30

am i the only one who thinks this post is a spoof? I first thought he just was trying to get some real love interest jealous...

But, in the spirit of AMF, I suggest elance.com There's gotta be someone over in India/Bangladesh/Pakistan/etc.. who could do this on the cheap.
posted by teg4rvn at 11:27 AM on September 30

Metachat.com is a good resource for companionship.
posted by theora55 at 11:28 AM on September 30

I read an article about this a while ago. I think the term you want to google is "girlfriend experience."
posted by damn dirty ape at 11:34 AM on September 30

Imaginary Girlfriends

It is so perfectly what you're looking for that I can't help but wonder if this is a shill for the site, so I will break the link.

http://www. imaginarygirlfriends. com/
posted by winna at 11:40 AM on September 30

I'm happy to join in as a fake girlfriend. I give good email! :-)
posted by Mysticalchick at 12:10 PM on September 30

camgirls, escorts, or a referral from a dom/domme is really the direction you should go in. they're already experienced in some degree to the "girlfriend experience", and it'll be even easier on them because you're the one setting the no physical contact line.
posted by nadawi at 12:25 PM on September 30

Post a bunch of tasks on Mechanical Turk. People on their commonly work for under $1/hour, and you don't need an actual eligible woman, just someone who can find pictures of one and write e-mails.
posted by miyabo at 12:47 PM on September 30 [1 favorite]

Does a fake girlfriend have to be female in real life? Just wondering.

On a different note, I don't think this will make you feel better. When you pay people for this you generally remove the "emotional" part of the equation, which is what you seek.

Personally, I'd try to develop non-romantic relationships with either sex--these have plenty of emotional components to them, too. They don't have romantic elements, but then neither do relationships that you paid for.
posted by RikiTikiTavi at 1:34 PM on September 30

AskMe really sucks for these kinds of questions because the answers are generally so bad.

This is absolutely the wrong job for an escort or cam girl. Post it as a job in Jobs and I imagine you'll get a very genuine response. Some of us can refer people to your Jobs post who do this sort of thing (well, and professionally) but at the moment there's nothing to point them to and your post is anonymous.
posted by DarlingBri at 1:57 PM on September 30 [1 favorite]

ok, seriously...

..................www.seekingarrangement.com

They've been getting some media coverage lately. Check www.abcnews.com. I think 20/20 did a piece on them. Check out their blog.

You can be as involved or uninvolved as you'd like.
posted by jamesalbert at 5:16 PM on September 30

Bailarinas.
posted by whimsicalnymph at 9:59 PM on September 30

I won't do it.

but you could try chasing me a little

No, seriously, I won't do it.
posted by hazyjane at 11:11 PM on September 30

What about boyfriends? I wouldn't mind having a virtual boyfriend. Good idea, anonymous poster. All the attention without the BS. I like it.
posted by VC Drake at 10:43 AM on October 1

Hi all, Setec Astronomy here. I'm the poster of this question.

I found what I was looking for.

And it is magical.
posted by Setec Astronomy at 8:48 PM on October 7 [1 favorite]