Not casual sex, but not not casual either.
September 21, 2009 8:09 PM Subscribe
How do you handle sex, in regards to dating a couple of people at once? (I'm a dude, for the record)
posted by anonymous to human relations (21 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
I was starting to write a ridiculously long version of this question that wasn’t making any sense. So I’ll assume you know where I’m at when I’m asking it. I’m internet dating. I’ve done it quite a bit. In the past, I would sort of go out with anyone that moved. I’ve become much more selective about who I’lll go out with. So lets say for example that everyone I meet likes me and I like them, and we want to go on more dates.
Say also that I’m staggering meeting women based on schedules, so that sometimes, if I’m writing back and forth to 3 women, I might meet woman A on a Monday one week, have a 2nd date the Monday of the following week, have a first date with woman B on the next Tuesday, a first date with woman C on that Friday.
Basically: I’m equally emotionally involved in 3 situations, trying to get to know 3 women, and not be a jerk to any of them, or to myself.
So if I make it to date 3 or so with woman A, and intimacy starts to enter the picture, do I slow things down and explain that I’m also getting to know B and C? Do I say, hey, I’m into this physically and I want to do it, but you need to know there is B and C too? Or do I say, well, time to decide what to do about A, and whether I’d like to go with door B and C instead of A? Or something else.
I'm not on a 3 date=sex schedule. But sometimes it happens. This kind of thing also makes me nervous on dates, and I'd like to find a way to feel relaxed and honorable about the whole thing.