I prefer to keep my leftovers in tupperware.

September 21, 2009 8:58 AM

Moustache care options?

Moustachioed MeFites, answer me this: are there grooming tricks to keeping a bushy moustache out of the way of incoming food? Or rather, does being the owner of a big moustache require a careful eating style? Should I just relent, and accept that soup-straining is the inevitable consequence of the hirsute appendage?

Basically, I find shaving/beard maintenance a nuissance and would like to just let it keep growing. And I also like the idea of having a big bushy moustache. But every time I let my beard grow out I hit this natural length-barrier when its long enough to catch food. I find it totally disgusting, and that's when I start trimming the moustache.

So, I welcome your thoughts and anecdotes. For example, do you have experience with moustache wax? Is it suitable at this shorter length? Are there alternatives?

posted by molecicco to science & nature (8 comments total)

For your drinking needs, the mustache cup.
posted by zippy at 9:40 AM on September 21

Having a moustache or beard requires care, even if not daily like shaving. Get an electric trimmer with an adjustable guard on it. Ignore the instructions (they say only trim from the top down) and run that thing over your face in every possible direction. Start with the longest setting and work your way down to a length you are comfortable with. Then get a small pair of grooming scissors and trim away from your lip; if any part of your moustache or beard covers any part of your lips, you will just get food in it and there is nothing you can do about it but become a frequent wiper. Which is a generally good thing anyway.

You don't need moustache wax unless you forego all of the above and want to go really retro...say about a century...
posted by rahnefan at 10:15 AM on September 21 [1 favorite]

I recommend you load up on moustache wax and go all Snidely Whiplash. The best moustache I ever had was a handlebar - no trimming, just waxing & twirling. Only drawback was the wax melted in the summer time. Now you got me thinking about growing another..."Curses! Foiled again!"
posted by torquemaniac at 12:52 PM on September 21

I use a set of electric clippers as rahefan mentions. I have to trim it at least once a month, but it's pretty simple and quick if all I do is get my moustache under control. I find it necessary not only to avoid soup straining, but also to keep it from tickling my nose. Never tried wax.
posted by ursus_comiter at 1:55 PM on September 21

My dad's had an upper-lip-covering moustache for as long as I've been alive, and he just wipes it between bites of sloppy-ish foods. He also tends to eat things like, say, pizza at a bit of an upward-pointing angle, so that it kinda limbos up under the moustache. I, on the other hand, keep mine trimmed to just above the upper lip (clipping it maybe once a week), which avoids the problem entirely. My uncle Brian keeps his clippered to the length of, say, two five o'clock shadows. My uncle Jack keeps his long and waxed/twirled, and that seems to work for him. So the males of my family take a variety of approaches to good effect with our respective moustaches.

I'm most likely to recommend my own short-moustache approach, of course. Uncle Brian just clips all the hairs on his moustache to the same short length, and seems to like that just fine. But I only clip across the bottom of the moustache; this means that the lower hairs are short, but that they get progressively longer as they go higher up the moustache, with the longest top hairs curving down in front of the shorter bottom hairs. I prefer that to the same-length trimming, as you get the lustrous glossiness of a longer moustache, but still the ease-of-eating associated with a shorter one.
posted by Greg Nog at 2:44 PM on September 21

Firstly: A certain degree of soup straining is inevitable, so a little hygienic paranoia is a healthy thing. Get in the practice of using your napkin often. When paper napkins are dispensed, take three times the normal supply.

My brother manages to grow a plus-sized Yosemite Sam Elliot mustache, but it seems to just naturally trend sidewaysish. Mine, on the other hand, grows pretty much vertically, no matter how much I've tried to influence its direction with daily brushing, blow drying, curling and such. Left uncut, it just tends to develop tusk-like protuberances, sadly, which is not hot in this or any other century. You may have to resign yourself to something not quite Massive.

If you are interested in waxes and willing to order from afar, I recommend Oregon Wild Hair Moustache Wax. It can certainly help to give the middle of your mustache direction, and it's great for holding a curl if you grow the ends out. My problem has been that I'm just not dedicated to the waxed mustache look, so I don't really use it except when I'm feeling a bit costumey... I can't be an everyday wax guy.

There are alternatives to wax, in that lots of sticky things can be used on a mustache, but wax is good because it's safe to ingest, and a good wax won't contain anything particularly flavorful. Unfortunately, even a well-trained stache is going to be coming into contact with foods, hot and cold beverages, and the like, so you really don't want to use your average hair gel or pomade. See the Handlebar Club FAQ (and other pages) for advice from grand old mustachioed masters, including recipes for making your own wax.

I think the best thing that I have learned in about 20 years of being beardy is this: find a barber who is good with beards and trust him. Seriously... the difference between trimming your own mustache and having a good barber do it is like the difference between getting a bowl haircut and a proper styling. This is even more true with beards -- with that electric trimmer, you're giving your beard a military style all-over buzzcut, where your barber can craft something that makes you look like a prince. A good barber will definitely know how to work it so that your stache is soaking up the least food while being as awesome as possible. And there's much more to awesomeness than mere size.
posted by mumkin at 1:55 AM on September 22

Alright, I think I will follow Greg Nog here and just trim the lower area so that it doesn't curl over the lip. But I want the rest to grow and get biggish! And yeah, moustache wax seems a bit much. As mumkin says, the waxed moustache is, in itself, a 'look' that I am not necessarily going for here. Not sure about going to the barber... seeing as I have been cutting my own hair for the last several years and with ok results. But maybe on special occasions I will keep in mind that I can get a haircut, AND a solid beard/moustache trim and styling.

Thank you all!
posted by molecicco at 4:57 AM on September 22

Oh by the way, even if all you do is trim it enough to get it off of your lip, the best way to get the right length (which seems to change depending on your angle and stuff) is to smile when you trim it. If it looks right when you smile, it will look right from every angle and no matter what your expression. Took me years to figure that out.
posted by rahnefan at 1:23 PM on September 24