What are the least interesting landmarks in NYC?

September 16, 2009 10:54 AM

More or less as a joke, I'm looking for some landmarks in NYC that are well-known to New Yorkers and yet incredibly dull and prosaic.

My significant other is a one-time New Yorker who quite frequently talks about how much better the bagels are, the art scene, the sense of "energy," and all the other things that New Yorkers can't seem to shut up about once they go West of the Hudson. I harbor no ill-will towards New York or its inhabitants, in fact I like it there very much, but we're heading out there for a week or so in October and I've made a little game of requesting that the least interesting places possible be put on the itinerary.

The problem is, not being a New Yorker myself, my list of unlikely places to visit is extremely limited. I have suggested the Bronx, the Port Authority, and Roosevelt Island* but now the well is running a little dry. What are some other places in NYC that natives would all know about but that there would be no reason whatsoever to visit?

I suspect I can eke some mileage out of this previous question about NYC's worst bars, but she hasn't lived in the city for 4 years or so and I'm not certain how current that list is.

* Actually, I confess to be pretty interested in Roosevelt Island and its tram, but she claims there is no reason to go there.

posted by whir to travel & transportation (93 comments total)

Murray Hill.
posted by oinopaponton at 10:56 AM on September 16

Penn Station, ugh.
posted by ch1x0r at 11:02 AM on September 16 [3 favorites]

Staten Island. Penn Station. Starbucks.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 11:05 AM on September 16

I never want to go to Times Square.
posted by avex at 11:07 AM on September 16 [1 favorite]

see, I would say Times Square, but that's just me.

Probably Staten Island more than Roosevelt Island, although you'd have to take a bridge to get there since everyone loves the Staten Island Ferry...

Specific subway stations? Make a pilgrimage to the 59th st stop or something? The Union Sq subway is the setting of that fight scene in the Warriors, so that's kind of a non-reason reason to go to an ugly place (which you'd probably pass thru anyway).

The Bronx is really big and there are beloved things up there, like the bronx zoo and yankee stadium, so be careful about hating on it too much... There are crappy industrial wasteland parts of it too, just gotta know where to look :)
posted by mdn at 11:07 AM on September 16

The Port Authority bus terminal.
posted by exogenous at 11:10 AM on September 16

Seconding Times Square.
posted by Jaltcoh at 11:10 AM on September 16

The Upper West Side. The Upper East Side. Midtown Manhattan. Port Authority.
posted by Mavri at 11:14 AM on September 16

Grant's Tomb up on 112th Street (or thereabouts).
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:15 AM on September 16

The ice rink at Rockefeller Center.
posted by Mavri at 11:15 AM on September 16

The New York Stock Exchange.

South Street Seaport.

Bowling Green.

East River Park Bandshell.
posted by elsietheeel at 11:16 AM on September 16

The Financial District is pretty boring on weekends/after 7pm... so maybe the Stock Exchange? I'd say the Statue of Liberty, since you could no longer climb it, but it was recently re-opened, apparently.
posted by Grither at 11:18 AM on September 16

The Garment District. The Charging Bull statue near Wall Street. Little Italy (just one touristy street now). FAO Schwartz. Chelsea Piers. Hell's Kitchen.
Seconding Port Authority--pretty funny to ask to see that.

The Roosevelt Island tram is actually pretty cool.
posted by janerica at 11:19 AM on September 16

South Street Seaport. Times Square/Theater district (unless you're actually watching a show, or on your bike). Port Authority. Penn Station. 5th ave Apple Store (5th ave can be fun in a very specific kind of way, but that Apple Store is just a drudge of tourists taking photos).
posted by suedehead at 11:20 AM on September 16

Oh, and maybe the Ikea in Brooklyn? Free water taxi there on weekends. Ward's island? Roosevelt Island is fun to take the tram across and back for the views and such, but that's about it.
posted by Grither at 11:20 AM on September 16

Please keep them coming. As a little refinement on the question, though, classic New York tourist destinations are a little too obvious (Times Square), and I'm looking for particular destinations, rather than just regions, like is there a specific place I could go to in Staten Island? Grant's Tomb is the perfect combination of inconvenient location and uninteresting attraction.
posted by whir at 11:21 AM on September 16

Having to be on time anywhere near where tourists gather in NYC is a nightmare, so Times Square is perfect, especially if you stroll down 34th St to get there. Then suggest stopping by that Abercrombie & Fitch on 5th ave, where tourists wait in lines outside to take photos w/ the store's in-house topless male models.
posted by miniminimarket at 11:22 AM on September 16

LaGuardia Airport.
The 59th Street Bridge.
The Queens Place and Queens Center Malls.
The Bruckner Expressway and Hunts Point. [NOT BRONXIST]
Duane Reade.
posted by Opposite George at 11:22 AM on September 16

Herald Square?
posted by unknowncommand at 11:22 AM on September 16

The idea of visiting the Columbus Circle subway station as a tourist is pretty funny.

Penn Station/Madison Square Garden/Manhattan Mall. That's a whole lotta ugly in a small space.

elsietheeel's suggestions are all great. Ditto for Rockefeller Center, Port Authority, and basically any place that is basically a mall disguised as a tourist spot.
posted by greenland at 11:23 AM on September 16

On the food front, how about stopping by an Einstein's Bagels, and then maybe Pizza Hut
posted by poppo at 11:23 AM on September 16 [1 favorite]

Maybe a nerd's eye view...
I got some odd looks when I said I wanted to see the meat packing district. Never got down there but I'm still envisioning huge buildings with trucks full of meat docking at them so the meat can be carved up and put on tiny styrofoam plates before being wrapped in saran wrap by people with hair nets before being carted out to yet more trucks. But that might just be me. Sort of the same interest with the textile district. I'd just like to see the process of raw material to clothing.

From that rotating restaurant in Times Square I noticed one building with a square hole built into it very far up (40 stories?). Looked like there was a garden in there.

The train level at Penn station was neat to study the mechanics of.

Elevated tramways. Subway stations. Ride the subway to spot abandoned stations.

FAO Schwartz? NYPL. Trump tower. Central Park. Harlem.
posted by jwells at 11:24 AM on September 16

Pizza, anywhere
that Seinfeld place
Anything from Sex and the City
posted by iamkimiam at 11:25 AM on September 16

The Soldiers and Sailors Monument.
The Javits Center.
The Hall of Fame for Great Americans. [STILL NOT BRONXIST]
posted by Opposite George at 11:27 AM on September 16

Gracie Mansion and Carl Schurz Park.
The Holland Tunnel approach.
The Atlantic Avenue subway station.
Laskar Rink in Central Park.
Staten Island Ferry Terminal.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 11:29 AM on September 16

I got some odd looks when I said I wanted to see the meat packing district. Never got down there but I'm still envisioning huge buildings with trucks full of meat docking at them so the meat can be carved up and put on tiny styrofoam plates before being wrapped in saran wrap by people with hair nets before being carted out to yet more trucks.

for the record, I think you'd find very little of that any more -- the "Meatpacking District" is these days more known for outrageously expensive red-velvet-rope types of nightclubs.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:29 AM on September 16

A "deli" in one of the aforementioned touristy spots.

The flower district.
posted by jgirl at 11:29 AM on September 16

The former site of the Virgin Megastore in Union Square.

If your Significant Other is anything like me and everyone I've known in NY, then the Union Square Virgin Megastore was THE place to meet up with people, the location known primarily for just being NY's most convenient location, but only if you're a local, and not a tourist.

But it just recently closed, and I don't know if anything is in it's place now. So not only is it noteworthy only to native New Yorkers, but there ain't even a store there anymore.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:30 AM on September 16

Harlem Meer in Central Park? Only because it's a bit out of the way and the last time I saw it it was covered in algae and pretty grody.

As a variation you could express a deep interest in something sort of obscure that's actually a cover for a popular attraction - like instead of asking to go to Shake Shack you could go on a quest to find a statue of William H. Seward somewhere in NYC.
posted by yarrow at 11:30 AM on September 16

Subway stations? 59th Street (4,5,6,N,R) is one of the worst stations, specifically if you are using the 4/5 train. There are only a few ways to get to and from the platform/street easily. Otherwise, it is a maze of horrors, especially if you mistake the underpass for a legit exit. If you don't make it to the escalator that takes you directly to the top, you will climb 8 sets of very long stairs.

Also, Bloomingdale's is right there, so you can maybe make that your destination.
posted by alice ayres at 11:30 AM on September 16

To expand on Duane Reade ("The only place that tourists can actually find" according to their recent ad campaign), how about going to the spot that it is named after, Duane and Reade?
posted by Grither at 11:31 AM on September 16 [1 favorite]

Oh -- somewhere on the Lower East Side there was (and may still be) a woman who runs a "troll museum" out of her apartment. Really, she took her huge collection of plastic troll dolls and is charging admission to let people come up and look at it.

Actually, from the review I read it sounded kind of amusing, but...still. You're looking at troll dolls in someone's apartment.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:32 AM on September 16 [1 favorite]

Shake Shack.
posted by Su at 11:32 AM on September 16 [1 favorite]

Hehe, more great ideas upthread. "that Seinfeld place" is at 112th and Broadway.
posted by Grither at 11:33 AM on September 16 [1 favorite]

Bellevue Hospital
Smith/9th St. Station (highest elevation in the whole subway! Ugly Rusty Platform!)
Any combination Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robins/Subway
The facade that was the outside shot for the Friends TV show
The Empire State Building is cool only once
34th St. Macy's/Manhattan Mall
Astor Place cube is pretty boring
posted by Mach5 at 11:33 AM on September 16

Murray Hill.

Murray Hill, Queens
posted by Calloused_Foot at 11:35 AM on September 16

Upon furthur review, the best suggestion thus far is the Javits Center. It's not near anything, surrounded by depressing wide streets choked with cars at rush hour, and if theres nothing going on, it's a completely desolate huge glass monolith. I almost fell asleep typing this.
posted by Mach5 at 11:38 AM on September 16 [11 favorites]

NYPL.

Sacrilege. Unless you just do a drive-by. It's great to go in there and actually USE the thing. Maybe the Mid-Manhattan Branch would be better.

The New York Stock Exchange.

Yeah, that's pretty bad. But the American Stock Exchange is even worse -- I don't think they even have tours or anything. Maybe you could work in both with a visit to Federal Hall.
posted by Opposite George at 11:39 AM on September 16

perfect combination of inconvenient location and uninteresting attraction

Why not pay Floyd Bennett Field a visit.

This is least interesting since it is an abandoned airport, but you can get excited about it being NYC's first municipal airport, admire its lovely art deco heritage listed architecture, and marvel in its historic role in record breaking round the world flights (with Amelia Earhart & Howard Hughes), and take some joy knowing that the airfield was the one time home of a Concorde. In spite of all the historic aspects it is just an old abandoned building and airfield on the outskirts of Brooklyn! Fun fun fun!

If you were interested you could even enjoy a ferry ride there.
posted by avex at 11:40 AM on September 16

"Astor Place cube is pretty boring" - Mach5

But it SPINS!
posted by Grither at 11:41 AM on September 16

4th Avenue.
posted by otters walk among us at 11:45 AM on September 16

Yorkville.
posted by ocherdraco at 11:46 AM on September 16

The Astor Place Cube is also right in the middle of the Nexus of Starbucks, with two right across the square from each other, and another in the Barnes & Noble right there.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:46 AM on September 16

Jacques Marchais Tibet Museum in Staten Island?
posted by kickingtheground at 11:48 AM on September 16

The Cross Bronx Expressway
Penn Station
posted by andrewraff at 11:50 AM on September 16

The Jacques Marchais is kind of interesting, actually, but not interesting enough to offset the hassle you need to go through to get there (take Staten Island Ferry, connect onto a bus, ride for a half hour, get off on a fairly deserted residential street, and walk 10 minutes, most of it uphill).
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:52 AM on September 16

The AT&T Switching Station on 10th ave.
One of the worst buildings in the city. You should beg to go see it.

(typical of NYC, I just googled it and found it is interesting after all. Seems the horrible blank design is so it can withstand a nuclear blast.)
posted by CunningLinguist at 11:52 AM on September 16 [1 favorite]

Ditto Javits, that's inspired.
posted by CunningLinguist at 11:53 AM on September 16

I'm posting this from the perspective of a former tourist, but by far the most boring, well-known place I went to when I've visted New York was Red Apple Supermarket.
posted by eschatfische at 11:58 AM on September 16

Manhattan Mall - a shitty mall in between shitty neighborhoods. God, go and eat a slice of pizza at Sbarros there and then jump in front of a bus.
posted by dirtdirt at 12:02 PM on September 16 [4 favorites]

Bleecker Street between Broadway and 6th Avenue.

Nthing: Javits Center, Penn (auuuuughh!!) Station, Manhattan Mall, Murray Hill, the Seinfeld Diner (watch out though, St John the Divine is around the block and interesting), the former Virgin Megastore, Atlantic Avenue subway, Columbus Circle subway, Staten Island Ferry Terminal, FAO, 5th Avenue Apple store, and 34th Street / midtown / times square.
posted by jacquilinala at 12:04 PM on September 16

I'm a fellow tourist, but, the Green-wood Cemetary and the Prospect Park bandshell.
posted by Danf at 12:15 PM on September 16

Gowanus Canal
posted by dyobmit at 12:16 PM on September 16

American Girl store, which is apparently called American Girl Place. And request to have Afternoon Tea or something else like that. I'd be quite unhappy with you if you asked me to do this.

Any of the CUNY campuses.

For inconvenience value, and this works best if you're staying in Brooklyn, ask to go to Van Cortlandt Park. It is at the northernmost tip of the 1 line which is exceedingly local all the way up. The park is actually kind of awesome - several times the size of Central Park, lots of trails (we accidentally walked to Yonkers once), playing fields (cricket!) and so on - but the sheer inconvenience of getting there makes it fun. They have a golf course.

Penn Station is horrible. Strong agreement here. Especially around rush hour. They have a Kmart which I find hysterical for no particular reason.

Ask to try to ride on every subway line. In order.

Yankee's game while wearing opposing team's shirts and hats. Coney Island has a minor league team, but I've heard that their games are kind of fun.
posted by sciencegeek at 12:23 PM on September 16

Jacks 99 cent store near Herald Square. I have heard that at one time it was the nation's largest 99 cent store. It has a flashing neon sign.
posted by abirae at 12:31 PM on September 16

The Museum of Finance.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 12:38 PM on September 16

Famous Ray's Pizza
posted by turaho at 12:41 PM on September 16 [2 favorites]

Don't hate on the Cube! It's the best place to meet up with people.

Of note: the aforementioned East River Park band shell was featured in an episode of Flight of the Conchords. This is only actually of note if you enjoy Flight of the Conchords.

Other suggestions:

Flushing Meadows-Corona Park, the site of the 1939 and 1964 World's Fairs. You can visit the Unisphere! (Also in Flight of the Conchords)

The Washington Square Arch.

The Ghostbusters Fire Station (Hook & Ladder 8 14 N. Moore Street New York, NY 10013).

Strawberry Fields and the Dakota (okay that might not be boring for Beatles fans)
posted by elsietheeel at 12:42 PM on September 16

Flushing Meadows-Corona Park, the site of the 1939 and 1964 World's Fairs. You can visit the Unisphere! (Also in Flight of the Conchords)

Totally agree. I went to see this earlier this year, and ended up in the bleakest, most desolate landscape I've ever seen. Granted, it was March and raining, but I felt some small inkling of what it would be like if there was a nuclear holocaust right after the World's Faire and my friends and I were the only ones still alive. The model was kind of cool, though.
posted by oinopaponton at 1:03 PM on September 16

I suggest inconvenient restaurants. That way you won't torture yourself too much, as the food will be good. Plausible deniability, too.

The 72nd St Gray's Papaya, it was in multiple mediocre movies, not convenient unless you're on the UWS

Wait in line at Shake Shack

Sripraphai in Queens, they only take cash and the atmosphere leaves a lot to be desired

Taverna Kyclades, in a completely different part of Queens, they don't take reservations and you'll have to wait forever

Daisy May's BBQ, it's a haul from the train, pricey, and it's basically a cafeteria

Mama's is a pain in the ass to get to, they run out of food and only take cash
posted by kathrineg at 1:05 PM on September 16

By the way, all of the above places have excellent food (well, Grey's has hot dogs)
posted by kathrineg at 1:06 PM on September 16

Oh, and Tavern on the Green is completely awful!
posted by kathrineg at 1:06 PM on September 16

The old CBGB's. Flatiron Building. Tomkins square park.
posted by bravowhiskey at 1:07 PM on September 16

Roosevelt Island is awesome, by the way, insist on going there! They have a cute little red bus and ruins. That's right, they have RUINS.
posted by kathrineg at 1:08 PM on September 16

Hello Kitty/Sanrio store, just off Times Square

Metafilter: we accidentally walked to Yonkers once
posted by mikepop at 1:10 PM on September 16

Little Italy
posted by zeraus at 1:10 PM on September 16

nthing Manhattan Mall and Penn Station. Astor Cube seems like it's in line with what you're looking for, since most New Yorker's would know it, but I can't imagine anyone would be terribly impressed (except when it's done up like a rubik's cube, and even then...).

There's an Olive Garden in Chelsea and a 7/11 on 23rd.
posted by hue at 1:18 PM on September 16

Mama's is a pain in the ass to get to

Sorry, Katherine, but i'm going to have to disagree with you there -- it's only a few blocks from the 2nd Avenue stop on the F line, plus it's smack-bang in the East Village and every cabbie knows how to get to the East Village.

And besides, sweet Mother of Mercy the food is good, and you can get enough food for $11 to feed you for three straight days.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:19 PM on September 16

Ask to take a ride over the Third Avenue Bridge.
posted by otio at 1:19 PM on September 16

Grant's Tomb is actually kind of cool, particularly because it's in a lovely park and overlooks the Hudson.

I'd Nth Javits Center, Penn Station & the Manhattan Mall.
posted by eduke at 1:20 PM on September 16

City Hall is really boring and there's not much around there (unless you want to walk over the Brooklyn bridge which is actually really fun).
posted by rmless at 1:22 PM on September 16

Waiting in line for Shake Shack is made acceptable by the fact that you can go to the B-line while your SO holds your spot in line and pick up a couple of beers to drink while you're waiting in line. Oh, and the fact that at the end of the line is the bestest burger you've ever had. If you're feeling gluttonous, go for the shack stack!
posted by Grither at 1:23 PM on September 16 [1 favorite]

And besides, sweet Mother of Mercy the food is good, and you can get enough food for $11 to feed you for three straight days.

Yes, all of the restaurants I mentioned have excellent food.
posted by kathrineg at 1:24 PM on September 16

If your Significant Other is anything like me and everyone I've known in NY, then the Union Square Virgin Megastore was THE place to meet up with people, the location known primarily for just being NY's most convenient location, but only if you're a local, and not a tourist.

But it just recently closed, and I don't know if anything is in it's place now. So not only is it noteworthy only to native New Yorkers, but there ain't even a store there anymore.

It's been boarded up with plywood, there's nothing there right now.

The Astor Place Cube is also right in the middle of the Nexus of Starbucks, with two right across the square from each other, and another in the Barnes & Noble right there.

The Starbucks on 3rd and St Marks is gone now, as is that Barnes & Noble (it's now a David Barton gym).

The old CBGB's.

Now a John Varvatos store.

59th Street (4,5,6,N,R) is one of the worst stations, specifically if you are using the 4/5 train.

Alternatively, the long boring tunnel between 42nd St-Port Authority A/C/E and 42nd St-Times Square.
posted by kathryn at 1:33 PM on September 16

Tammany Hall
posted by Lieber Frau at 1:45 PM on September 16

Really? Nobody has mentioned Sbarro's, yet? Also, a Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robbins combo store.
posted by spec80 at 1:48 PM on September 16

Here's my list of Ugly Landmarks & Boring Places of New York. If you did a tour and focused on touring or taking photos of these places, that would be really funny.
- Penn Station
- Port Authority
- Javits Center
- The area around Macy's
- JCPenney / Manhattan Mall
- Atlantic Terminal / Target
- The whole Financial District
- Chelsea, a neighborhood combining grittiness, dirtiness, charmlessness, a lack of parks, and proximity to Penn Station
- Murray Hll, a neighborhood combining boring businesses, boring buildings, and proximity to other boring places such as the mid-40s and the Queens Midtown Tunnel, and boasting a giant Borders bookstore and multiplex
- The World Financial Center
- Broadway on the Upper West Side, for its strip-mall like qualities
- Broadway between 26th street and 32nd street
- The area west of Penn Station (excluding B&H Photo, which is really worth a visit)
- Bland subway stations including: Lex and 51st street, Lex and 59th, 5th and 53rd, 7th and 49th
- Sadly, Cooper Square is no longer the world's center of Starbuckses, as one of them closed. However, the "Sculpture for Living" building directly south of the Cube is an extremely insipid and uninspired building.
- Do a tour of all the combination fast-food restaurnts owned by Riese Restaurants: Pizza Hut / Taco Bell, Dunkin Donuts / Baskin Robbins. Visit Houlihans, Tad's Broiled Steaks, and as many Ray's Pizzas as you can handle. Enjoy fine cusine at Sbarro's, Olive Garden, Red Lobster, or at the McDonald's in Penn Station.
- Visit post offices not updated since the 1930s such as Madison Square Station or the one on 11th and Broadway
posted by lsemel at 2:04 PM on September 16

Oh, I forgot to mention all the boring stores in Times Square. Like the M&Ms store, Hershey's Store, CBS Store, or the MTV Store.
posted by lsemel at 2:08 PM on September 16

When my foodie brother and I visit each other, I get a lot of mileage out of insisting we go to "this great neighborhood place I've heard so much about" or "this cute little Italian bistro -- just a fantastic family place". As luck would have it, they're both in Times Square; god forbid the tourists get actual Italian food in New York. (I made sure to take pictures when I was last in town.)

And if you're a fan of Project Runway -- especially if she is! -- you should definitely head to the Times Square Red Lobster. "What happened to Andrae?"
posted by Madamina at 2:13 PM on September 16

Also, my brother lives in Seattle now, and you just canNOT get a decent cuppa joe in that town for a hill of beans. Though, unfortunately, I can't play the Olive Garden game with Starbucks, because it really is their neighborhood joint, and it really is different.
posted by Madamina at 2:16 PM on September 16

Some of these suggestions, while not very interesting residents, do very well have interest to non-natives. Times Square? Yeah, it's annoying (less so now with the plazas), but it won't have the reaction you are looking for. You need the reaction: "You want to go there? Why? Why would anybody want to ever go there?"

Manhattan Mall is good. They just opened the first JC Penny in Manhattan! Port Authority is also a good "WTF?" suggestion. So much ugliness there.

For inconvience... very little beats City Island. You have to take the 6 local train to the end of the line (believe me, it's a looooong trip) and then transfer to a city bus. And, apologies to any locals... there isn't anything to do there. At least not when I went.

Alternatively, you could suggest Aqueduct Race track, the only track within city limits. I don't know a soul who's ever been or even mentioned it (Belmont, yes... Aqueduct, never), but the subway stops there on the way out to JFK airport, so almost every New Yorker at least knows of it.
posted by yeti at 2:17 PM on September 16

If you are looking for a combination of uninteresting attractions in difficult-to-get-to places, how about:
- The Garibaldi Museum on Staten Island
- The street where Scrabble was invented, in Jackson Heights. They have a street sign with Scrabble points.
- Take a tour of lower Manhattan lampposts
- Visit beautiful Corona Park
posted by lsemel at 2:18 PM on September 16

The great thing about Staten Island as a boring destination is that the trip there, a free ride on the Staten Island Ferry, is absolutely breathtaking (especially at sunset). So you get to make your point about parts of NYC being non-fun while actually having a lot of fun.
posted by nicwolff at 2:18 PM on September 16

Spa Castle is a pretty cool place from what I hear, but it's also really out of the way and would be an odd thing for a tourist to add to their NY itinerary You have to take the 7 to the end and then get the Spa Castle shuttle bus.
posted by lsemel at 2:22 PM on September 16

Ten or so years ago there was a great article in, I think, Details, a sort of film set tour of NYC. Instead of photos of great/memorable locations used in films, it was a collection of rather dull ones. The one specific example I can remember is a manhole used in one scene of the film C.H.U.D. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find any trace of it online...
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:22 PM on September 16

Ask to go to GoodBurger at 54th and Lex. The burgers are great but the area is boring (unless you're a building fetishist, in which case the Citigroup Building might be interesting to you). At lunchtime, the area gets congested with office workers out for lunch.
posted by LOLAttorney2009 at 3:02 PM on September 16

go to the old CBGBs and walk the Bowery -- oh look a whole store of lamps! Oh and there's an illegal underpaid overworked garment worker's boarding house that violates building and fire codes in at least 500 ways!

Also, go to Canal St. and buy stupid shit like an "I <3 NY" t shirt and give it to her.
posted by WeekendJen at 3:03 PM on September 16

Isle of the Squab.
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:08 PM on September 16

The Staten Island Mall. The financial district on a weekend. Most of the area around (but not including) Grand Central Terminal. Canal Street west of Sixth Avenue.
posted by oaf at 3:40 PM on September 16

Definitely Serendipity on the UES for desert at some point. Then, when you go to RI, don't take the tram, take the subway, for bonus uninteresting points.
posted by allkindsoftime at 5:38 AM on September 17

Any small urban park in Brooklyn. I've seen little, teeny traffic islands with the official NYC Parks and Recreation plaque and a fence and a sign saying it's closed after dark. They often have fancy sounding names, but they're absolute jokes when you actually see them. Your best bet is probably something with triangle in the name. Take, for instance, the Aimee Triangle; it's .1 acres, has a nice historical tale you can tell to use to lead your lady to believe that it's worth visiting, and (while I have not seen it myself), I can pretty much guarantee that it'll be underwhelming. I'm not disparaging all parks in Brooklyn, of course; there are some beautiful ones. But I've seen some doozies. Oh...just found another one, even smaller: Arbor Place Triangle. Of all things, it celebrates the construction of the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway. It's located between an on ramp and an off ramp, and its main selling point is: "Arbor Place provides drivers and passersby with momentary relief from the shadeless concrete of the on and off ramps that bound it." Again, I've never been there, but it's just about guaranteed to be uninteresting.
posted by msbrauer at 7:15 AM on September 17

They film the Rachel Ray show in the building where I work. Maybe you could get tickets. Or just stand in line outside my building for two hours with a bunch of people who actually want to be in the studio audience of the Rachel Ray show.

Underneath Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn there is a civil war-era railroad tunnel that predates the subway. It was supposedly filled in in the 1860s, but was actually discovered by a guy in 1981 or something because the crooked firm hired to fill it in just filled in each end of the tunnel. Now the guy who found it occasionally gives tours. The tunnel is entered through a manhole in the middle of Atlantic Avenue. Go on a day there is no tour and look at the manhole.
posted by snofoam at 10:33 AM on September 17

The blog Scouting NY is quite interesting, but it often notes interesting things in not-interesting places, too.
posted by jocelmeow at 1:43 PM on September 17