Good thing I didn't lose my MeFi password...

September 13, 2009 5:28 PM

Lately I seem to be losing a lot of things - the screws for a chair, the screws I bought to replace them, a screwdriver to put them in, a cheese grater, now my wallet. I haven't really had a losing things stage since I was a kid. Confirmation bias, or is there something wrong with me?
posted by l33tpolicywonk to health & fitness (20 comments total)

There's not really much to go on here. Have you been having more headaches than usual? Any health issues? Unusual levels of stress?
posted by InsanePenguin at 5:32 PM on September 13

Age?
posted by Rad_Boy at 5:37 PM on September 13

I've gone through quite a lot of these 'losing everything that isn't attached to me' phases so either it's normal or I'm having Alzheimer's in stages.

Let's see; if memory serves, I went through this during:
- adolescence;
- moving out on my own for the first time;
- moving to a new city;
- getting married;
- having kids;
- changing jobs;
- moving to a new house.

No doubt I'm missing a few.

Of course the common element in all these is stress; nothing like it to unclear the mind. But the longest and most extreme periods of losing things have happened when my sleep is bad. How is your sleep these days?
posted by Hardcore Poser at 5:38 PM on September 13 [1 favorite]

We all get a little more forgetful as we get older, or under stress, or when we have a lot going on.

I like this saying: Not remembering where your keys are is not a problem. Not knowing what keys are for is a problem.

If you are really concerned, see a doctor and they can administer some simple tests to see if something is up.
posted by The Deej at 5:40 PM on September 13 [1 favorite]

I turn 21 on Tuesday (I haven't / am not using alcohol, so this is of no relevance). My caffeine intake on average may be a little higher than usual, but I don't see any direct day-to-day correspondence between high caffeine levels and losing something. I just moved back to college, but this is the fourth time. Admittedly, moving back may have caused an unusual degree of stress this time. I don't feel like my sleep is bad; I am on a new bed though - is it possible my sleep is worse than I think it is?
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 5:51 PM on September 13

This happens to me every time I have have a significant change in life circumstances, which fortunately or unfortunately, happens quite a bit. If it continues for a period of time, then I would ask around.
posted by mrmojoflying at 5:51 PM on September 13

Yes, I'm wondering with others above, are you going through a lot of stress right now? When I am very stressed, I engage in exponentially more forgetful behaviour than normal. Things like locking my keys in the car 3 days in a row, or leaving the lights on and draining the car battery 3 times in one week--stuff I normally would not do.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 5:59 PM on September 13

I am in the process of anticipating a significant change in life circumstances which (while not going into too much detail) I consider quite fortune. Should it still be affecting me in this way? Can it be causing my stress even if I'm looking forward to it?
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 6:06 PM on September 13

Last year I went through this. I am normally a very organized and put together person but I was losing everything! At the time I was eating right, sleeping eight hours a night, and exercising every day. And I wasn't stressed. I was just as concerned as you are about this--even going to far as to ask someone I am close with if they thought I was going crazy! And then...a few weeks after I first started losing things...it all went away.

So, basically, I wouldn't stress too much about it at this point.
posted by lucy.jakobs at 6:06 PM on September 13

My dad is a neurologist, and people are always asking him if they have Alzheimer's because they keep losing things like their car keys. My dad always says the same thing:

"You shouldn't be worried if you lose your car keys. You should be worried when you forget what your car keys are for."
posted by BusyBusyBusy at 6:11 PM on September 13 [2 favorites]

I went through a brief period a few years ago when I locked myself out of my house three times in a week*. I was very very happy about something, and I think that, like the bad kind of stress, it leads to a level of distraction that lets you do dumb stuff like this.

The third time the locksmith came - it was a one-man operation - he wouldn't let me pay. I gave him a big tip, though. And haven't locked myself out since, knock wood.
posted by rtha at 6:35 PM on September 13 [1 favorite]

Whenever I'm in a losing phase, I like to remember Elizabeth Bishop's "One Art":

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
posted by mothershock at 6:56 PM on September 13 [4 favorites]

I generally pride myself on being very On Top of Things. I've gone through a few patches of days or weeks where I couldn't find my ass with a mirror and a flashlight. I had the same "What the hell is wrong with me, did I have a stroke?" feeling. Then I realized....oh, wait I'm human, and humans can't be On Top of Things constantly. I have stress, or changes that happen and throw me off.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 7:02 PM on September 13

Generally, I notice I become more forgetful when I use caffeine excessively. For me, that's more than one 10 oz. coffee a day. I am mentioning the amount because MY tolerance has gotten quite low.
posted by tcv at 7:13 PM on September 13

>I am in the process of anticipating a significant change in life circumstances which (while not going into too much detail) I consider quite fortune. Should it still be affecting me in this way? Can it be causing my stress even if I'm looking forward to it?

If I remember correctly from Psych 101, the good kind of stress (called "eustress", as opposed to "distress") can affect you just as much as the bad kind of stress. So, yes, even events you're looking forward to can cause you much mental upheaval.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 7:42 PM on September 13

Yes, as hurdy gurdy girl says, positive events can cause you as much stress as negative events. I'm not even sure it's about "eustress". Think about getting married or getting a great new job -- there's all kinds of negative stress involved: change, preparations to be made, lots to think about, uncertainties. Getting married and getting a new job are "better" than getting divorced or losing a job, but they're still going to cause stress.
posted by AmbroseChapel at 7:55 PM on September 13

I can't really speculate on any causes, but I've found myself becoming more forgetful about things also. As far as things like keys go, just get into the habit of putting them in the same place consistently. Don't leave it on a bookshelf or in the kitchen and happily assure yourself that you'll remember later that you put it there. If there's something you need to take with you in the morning, set it aside the night before.

And if there's a task you need to do (like, oh, setting your DVR), likewise, don't tell yourself you'll remember later. Do it now, or guarantee that you'll be able to do it another time, in time.

It's just too easy for things to slip your mind during the course of the day when it becomes bombarded with other info and stimuli.

(The one thing I get irritated by is staples. You always find them when you don't need them, and can't find them when you do need them.)
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 8:34 PM on September 13

If you submit an identical post within a day or two, then we'll know there's a problem.
posted by chambers at 9:30 PM on September 13 [1 favorite]

Read Freud's "Psychology of Errors" or Groddeck's "The Book of the It." Then TRY to lose something.
posted by RichardS at 4:55 AM on September 14

Im 19. I lose things FROM MY HANDS walking from one room to the other. And they then vanish. Me and my room-mate can then spend over 15 minutes looking for it, because somehow its never anywhere obvious. I dont know how i do it, people who hang out with me dont know how i do it.

I think it might be conformation bias, or my superhero power is making objects disappear.

(anecdotally, i also once spent half an hour looking for my favourite paintbrush, couldnt find it, got really really pissed off and finally just starting using another one. And half way through i found my favourite paintbrush IN MY HAND and i was using it to paint. I dont know how it happened.....)

If its making you feel uncomfortable, make sure you have a *place* for everything important? But i think that just happens sometimes. I think its impossible to know just from the description.
posted by stillnocturnal at 12:52 AM on September 16