Roommate negotiations... ugh...
September 11, 2009 10:45 AM Subscribe
So, I have a roommate. We were friends before living together, and for the most part we get along fine. We've had some arguments, but we seem to have gotten past them. Now I'm just feeling frustrated by some nit-picky things she does and I want to know if I should address them at all, and how not to be insulting or irritating.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (40 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Little things, like washing the dishes but neglecting to ring out the sponge (which breeds mildew and is unsanitary as well as completely disgusting-- I had been wondering why the dishes always smelled funky after she washed them) and then I find I buy replacement sponges once every two weeks. It's getting expensive and irksome, and even though I've asked her to ring them out she still leaves them and lets them rot.
She also has a tendency to stay at her boyfriend's house for days at a time, which wouldn't bother me except that it then falls to me to feed her cat. She doesn't really clean up after the poor thing either, which is simply not something I'm willing to do. Period. If I wanted a pet I would have gotten one, and when we moved in I established clearly that the pet-related messes would not be my problem.
And most recently the most irritating of all is that she eats my food. And I swear I'm not a stingy person, I actually don't mind at all that she shares food with me provided that she replaces any food that she eats the majority-- i.e. sure, make a sandwich or two with my bread, no problem, but if I buy a loaf and 3/4 of it are gone before I eat even one slice, replace it. This is not to say that she never replaces my food, and to that extent I acknowledge that she's trying to make things even, but here's where I sound like a big time female dog...
When it comes to clothing, cleaning supplies, and household stuff I don't care about namebrands. Whatever works will work for me, but when it comes to my food I am incredibly particular. I work hard to afford the brands that I choose because they taste better. She then replaces my expensive brandname food with crappy Kroger generics. I wouldn't buy those because I prefer the better brands and I'm willing to pay more for them. Clearly, she feels differently, so I end up with the short end of the stick-- paying more for the better brands but eating the crappy ones.
I've considered many things, not the least of which is letting it go-- we have only 6 months left on our lease and we know we won't be living together again after that. But is it really fair for me to put up with this for all that time? I feel like it's more and more money out of my pocket. I try to keep my special food that I really care about in one of the veggie crispers, but she still pilfers it from time to time. How can I express my frustration politely (in the form of a note preferably, as talking to her face to face has usually led to arguments in the past) without sounding like I've got a stick up my bum?