Lawyers Play Football - Film at 11

September 9, 2009 3:14 PM

What are some good t-shirt ideas for a football team full of law students?

Every year, the staffs of the law reviews at my school play a grudge football match against each other - the Geek Bowl. It's totally for fun, not very serious at all, but a tradition nonetheless.

We'd love to do a witty t-shirt design or slogan for our team's uniforms, but are drawing a blank on ideas. Help us, creative MeFites!

Pertinent information:
- we're the defending Geek Bowl champions
- our journal deals with international law, so bonus points for incorporating international themes, a foreign language, or the word "global"
- lawyer jokes are fair game
- no profanity, please

posted by anonymous to sports, hobbies, & recreation (22 answers total)

The Intentional Inflictors of Emotional Damage.
posted by Kirklander at 3:41 PM on September 9, 2009 [1 favorite]

Cover the shirt in fine print terms of service explaining that, by tackling, blocking, or otherwise coming into physical contact with this player, the opposing player (hereinafter "PLAYER") agrees, on behalf of his or her team (hereinafter "OPPOSING TEAM"), to assume all risk associated with such contact, including, but not limited to, physical harm, emotional distress and any and all other damages. And take it from there. But the legalese has to fill the whole shirt and the crux of it has to be that you win every game by operation of this "contract."
posted by The World Famous at 3:43 PM on September 9, 2009 [8 favorites]

Tortfeasors is always popular for this kind of thing.

Bad News Barristers is another good one.

Pigskin Plaintiffs?

Gridiron Global?
posted by jedicus at 3:55 PM on September 9, 2009 [1 favorite]

Ex parte animals. (Stolen from here.)
posted by stopgap at 3:59 PM on September 9, 2009

Adverse Possession

(And the team sponsor could be the Long Island Railroad Co.)
posted by The World Famous at 4:09 PM on September 9, 2009 [2 favorites]

Maybe a joke about conversion.
posted by Kirklander at 4:10 PM on September 9, 2009

One of our 1L football teams was called Ferae Naturae (sp?) -- "Wild Animals." I always liked that one.

Or maybe World of Hurt?
posted by orrnyereg at 4:31 PM on September 9, 2009

Something about how the Geneva Convention doesn't apply on the field.
posted by whoaali at 5:56 PM on September 9, 2009 [1 favorite]

Wide World of Torts
posted by ishotjr at 6:03 PM on September 9, 2009

Crushers Pro Bono

Tort-a-linis
posted by bhdad at 6:20 PM on September 9, 2009

Blackacre United?
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 7:14 PM on September 9, 2009

Power of Attorney
Reversed and Remanded
The Huge Subpoenas
posted by toomuchpete at 7:26 PM on September 9, 2009

Ambulances Follow Us
posted by letourneau at 8:05 PM on September 9, 2009 [1 favorite]

We are the international law governing the use of force
posted by djgh at 8:26 PM on September 9, 2009

Getting Extra-Territorial On Your Ass
posted by djgh at 8:27 PM on September 9, 2009

Practicing extraordinary rendition since 1999!
posted by djgh at 8:28 PM on September 9, 2009

Us v You [2008] Law Geek Bowl 45-32

We have precedent


(where the page reference is the score)
posted by djgh at 10:03 PM on September 9, 2009

You walking on this field = consent for us to commit an intentional tort.
posted by whoaali at 11:42 PM on September 9, 2009

The ICC doesn't have jurisdiction over the war crimes that are about to occur on this field. (that one not in the best taste admittedly, but I spent too much time researching the jurisdiction of various international courts not to throw it in)
posted by whoaali at 11:45 PM on September 9, 2009

We are going to breach your defenses like the US breach international customary law when it supported and armed the Contra guerrillas in their war against the Nicaraguan government and by mining Nicaragua's harbors. See Military and Paramilitary Activities in and against Nicaragua, 1984 ICJ REP. 392 June 27, 1986.
posted by whoaali at 11:51 PM on September 9, 2009 [1 favorite]

Enemy Combatant

Affirmative Defense / Lesser Included Offense
posted by The World Famous at 12:11 AM on September 10, 2009

"Leaving you black and bluebooked"
posted by naju at 8:15 AM on September 10, 2009