Correlations between masturbation and sex

September 7, 2009 8:15 AM

Is there a correlation between how long it takes me to achieve orgasm via masturbation and how long I can last in bed with a woman?

For example, if I reach climax in 5 minutes with masturbation... Will I last 5 minutes in bed?

posted by ascetic to health & fitness (15 comments total)

It's inversely correlated to how long ago those five minutes occurred.
posted by StickyCarpet at 8:18 AM on September 7 [2 favorites]

I would guess that there is a correlation, but it is weak. Besides which, I guarantee you that you could take longer with masturbation if you switched hands, or if you devoted attention to whether your hand was also experiencing pleasure. Just so with a woman.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 8:23 AM on September 7

There's a lot of factors at play, of course.

It is also inversely correlated to whether or not you practice the "death grip" while yanking which could prolong achieving orgasm. Also, while yanking you're in control of your event completely so you have more control over the situation. In many cases you'll want to get your whack session over quickly to avoid getting caught with your pants down. So rather than being a natural event that happens when it happens, masturbation sessions can often be a contest to finish quickly.

With a partner you give up that control somewhat so you could come faster/slower than you would on your own. And it depends on how turned on you are. And 1,000,000 other things. Like the condom. Since most people don't jack it with a condom on, the condom can lower the sensitivity so the session will last longer.

If you're worried you'll come too quickly with a chick, sometimes rubbing one out earlier will be helpful. But there's lots of techniques to prolong things if you want/need to.

If the worry is the other way and you won't easily come within a satisfactory time period for the both of you, you'll want to lay off the masturbation for a while.

In other words, the correlation might just be coincidence.
posted by birdherder at 8:33 AM on September 7

No, because there is no way to accurately reproduce the feeling of a woman with your own hand. Lord knows I've tried.
posted by orme at 8:35 AM on September 7 [7 favorites]

This would make for a fun experiment and I strongly suggest you do it. Take notes, write down times and put into a spreadsheet so you can compare the data.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:41 AM on September 7 [6 favorites]

I did search medline before providing this answer. Curiously I couldn't find anything relevant, so my contribution:

Unless you've got friends willing to participate in a self-directed study under controlled conditions, your sample size will render any results statistically insignificant.
posted by variella at 8:44 AM on September 7

This would make for a fun experiment and I strongly suggest you do it. Take notes, write down times and put into a spreadsheet so you can compare the data.

Also, wear a lab coat.

If you approach both sex and masturbation as speed trials, then there's probably some correlation. But it's not going to hold for real sex, since people tend to pace themselves to prolong the experience.
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 8:52 AM on September 7

I see no correlation, I come much faster by myself than when I am with a woman.
posted by Iron Rat at 9:08 AM on September 7

I too would recommend doing an experiment. Find me a woman and I'll goddamn well be your test subject.

My suspicion is that there is little to no correlation. Remember that masturbation, far from being simulatory, is actually a wholly different experience from having sex, at least under what I consider normal conditions. When masturbating, one is stimulating oneself manually more or less whilst attempting to immerse oneself in fantasy as deeply as possible, to disappear into an imagined reality. Now, I've known people who approach sex with other people the same way, but (though I hesitate to call anything having to do with sex 'normal') it isn't really the point. All this is complicated by the fact that masturbation and shared sex are hardly confined to their respective poles of fantasy and experience, but are usually somewhere within the spectrum; masturbation is never 100% fantasy (else there would be no physical stimulation involved at all) and while not everybody lies back and drifts off somewhere else when they're making their mate, I think there's probably always some fantasy involved in shared sex, too.

Of course, there's always the big difference: when you're masturbating, there is no unexpected, and everything is a known quantity since you're doing it to yourself.

Overall, while I'm only speaking from personal experience and from extrapolations from what I've heard from others, my feeling is that for almost everybody masturbation differs significantly from having sex with somebody else; and as such the orgasms (and the time it takes to get to them) differ.
posted by koeselitz at 9:12 AM on September 7

I guess I am asking because masturbation only takes about 3 - 5 minutes for me. I can usually only last around 7 - 9 minutes with a woman and I thought that maybe it had something to do with being speedy with my hand on my personal time. PS I'm 20 years old...
posted by ascetic at 9:13 AM on September 7

Wait 35 or so years... your findings will be different.
posted by Drasher at 9:43 AM on September 7 [2 favorites]

Everyone is different, and every position end every specific penetrable orifice will provide different results. Personally, when I really need to, I can get myself off in about 30 seconds. Add another human, and it will take much longer. If it were possible to have penetrative sex at the same maximum masturbatory speed, someone's junk is going to catch fire and that would be bad (unless you dig fireplay, of course).

As a sidenote: I've found that learning to enjoy long, drawn out sessions of masturbation helps to reduce general orgasmic urgency when with a partner (I like to think of it as remapping neural pathways to take the long way so you can enjoy some sensory sightseeing).
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 9:49 AM on September 7

I can usually only last around 7 - 9 minutes with a woman

Which is considerably more than average already. Seriously, don't judge by porn: performers in porn are a) people selected for their unusual abilities at sex; b) people who use lots of topical and oral performance enhancers; c) performers, whose performances are selected and edited by directors.

The average length of intercourse from penetration to ejaculation has been calculated at 4 or 5 minutes, depending on which studies you read.
posted by Sidhedevil at 11:31 AM on September 7

Also, if your partners don't reach orgasm from penis-in-vagina intercourse alone, it's unlikely that it's because you can't last "long enough": it's more likely that they are among the majority of women who can't reach orgasm from penis-in-vagina intercourse alone (and by "majority" here, I mean 60 to 70 percent, according to studies.)
posted by Sidhedevil at 11:50 AM on September 7

ascetic: I guess I am asking because masturbation only takes about 3 - 5 minutes for me. I can usually only last around 7 - 9 minutes with a woman and I thought that maybe it had something to do with being speedy with my hand on my personal time. PS I'm 20 years old...

I'm about the same.

I agree with Sidhedevil that you're already doing great, and you shouldn't be looking at porn as any example of anything. (Seriously, in this day and age, I don't think anybody should look at professional porn for any reason whatsoever, given the alternatives available.)

Also, stay open to the fact that there can and should be great variation, both from moment to moment and from person to person. You might last x amount of time with this person, and y amount of time with that person; since there's another person in the room, all of the factors aren't the same every time; and even when it's just you, things can change.

I'm thirty now; there have been times when I'd last thirty seconds and times when I couldn't come from trying for half an hour. Weirdly, it's not always easy to predict those times, though thankfully it falls within a general area. But sex is about understanding that and just enjoying it, not about 'lasting.'

Really, I think the most important piece of advice any of us can give you here is this:

It doesn't matter how many minutes you last. It matters that you like it and that the person you're having sex with likes it. And if you're concerned about whether you're lasting 'long enough,' the very best way to approach that is to communicate with the person you're having sex with. Seriously, ignore the media's way of talking about this; you're not a machine that has an 'optimum operating capacity,' and you couldn't possibly begin to evaluate some mythical number representing your staying power with women–they're all different, and you'll be different in different moments too. It's all good; just enjoy the sex, and communicate with your partners if it seems like anything's wrong.
posted by koeselitz at 12:58 PM on September 7 [2 favorites]