Help me help new college students

August 8, 2009 11:48 AM

How do I offer support for people attending/wanting to attend college, but who have very different situations from anything I knew? 2 different scenarios!

I am in two very different situations where I want to give support to people attending or who will attend college. I grew up in an environment where everyone I knew went to college, including all of my family and almost everyone from my high school. I didn't have to deal with any "issues" surrounding it -- I had an excellent support system of people who'd been there. Now I want to be able to offer that support in two ways:

1) A good friend of mine is starting college (across the country from me, and far away from anywhere he's lived before) in about a month at age 25. As far as I know, I'm the only person he speaks to often that has been to college -- none of his family, very few people from where he grew up, etc. He's also going to a very different type of school than I did. What sort of help/support is the most useful from me? I want to be helpful but not obnoxious (no "well when I was in college...").

2) I'm starting involvement in a mentoring program for kids from a underprivileged community near me that might be going to college. Basically, the school district spends all its resources on getting the low-end kids to not drop out, pass the exit exam, etc., and one of the schoolboard members decided he wanted to do something to support the high-end kids. He started getting them donations/scholarships to attend summer programs at some east coast schools, and now he's getting alums from those schools to mentor them. Some of these kids are going to be seniors and are actually doing the college application thing, some are younger and are just thinking about it. Like I said above, these kids have grown up in a very different environment from me, and I just have no idea what to do to help them in this process. Any advice?

Thank you!

posted by brainmouse to education (9 comments total)

Why do they need your help? Have they asked for it?

Just let them know they can come to you if the need should arise, and then, if they do, just deal with each situation on its own terms.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:23 PM on August 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

Well in the latter case, it's more of a structured thing -- I'm going to be meeting with them a couple times a month, and I have no idea what to say/do when I do, especially if they don't have specific needs/questions.

For my friend, I suppose that works, but I don't think he knows what to ask, and I don't want to be annoying.
posted by brainmouse at 12:35 PM on August 8

Help with the financial aid part. There is a myth that college is expensive - prohibitively so. In fact, there are lots of aid options for lower income students.

Also find out what the schedule is for taking SAT/ACT and help them register for it. Maybe look into helping with a practice test and getting some test prep books from the library.

Lots of colleges have1st generation student support programs. Look into these for more resources. I've heard that these are very helpful.
posted by k8t at 12:35 PM on August 8

My answer pertains more to the second part of your question than the first. I volunteered with a group that helps under-privileged kids get into college. A lot of these kids are just as smart as the kids college-bound from birth or smarter, but they are unfamiliar with the conventions of the middle class U.S. educational system. Your organization should give you some structure to work from, but if they don't, as seniors, the most important things are: 1) doing passably well on the SATs. 2) Tracking down scholarships aimed at students you tutor. 3) Using grades and SAT practice scores to help the student build a wish-list of schools, and include (and sing the praises of) community college. 3a) A lot of universities waive application fees for students from low-income backgrounds. Definitely your organization should keep track of which ones do so.

While tutoring, I focused the following things:
1) Writing for the SAT. Teach your students how to write a basic five paragraph essay. They will need that for standardized tests.
2) Writing letters about their interests and accomplishments. Many colleges want to admit first generation college applicants. Your clients need to learn to communicate why they want to go to college in a one to two page letter.
3) Use books for studying for the SAT. Have your clients take a real-time sample test and figure out their strengths and weaknesses. From there, you'll know how much time to devote to math vs. English vs. writing. There are dozens of books available for this purpose, likely in local libraries or community centers if you can't go out and buy a bundle. The ones with more practice questions and tests are more useful than the ones full of strategy.
4) Find out where in your city the office for underprivileged or non-traditional students can access information about special scholarships directed to them, or other programs for categories they fall into. Philadelphia has one with several branches, for example. They keep the kids on track with application dates and testing dates.
5) Consider and learn about community college as an option. I cannot stress enough how important community colleges are. The student who graduated at the top of all of the majors in my department at a four-year university got his start at a community college. His goal is to get a PhD to give back to the community by teaching in a community college system. Stress that community college is a great way to get credits out of the way for a good price and to make the transition into a four year college. My most motivated and mature students come from this background.
6) Heap praise and encouragement onto those you tutor. When I was volunteering, I would constantly tell my student that he was smart enough to do anything the kids from the suburbs could do and that he had everything he needed intellectually to succeed in college. The more I got to know him, the more I realized he benefited from these pep talks. He doubted himself so much that the tests, the applications, the whole process scared him to death.

After reading all those SAT prep books about writing, I do not understand how many of my college students gained admittance to my institution. So few can write a legible essay that it really makes me wonder how those tests are scored. But that's immaterial to your question.

Your friend would be better off seeking services at his or her own institution. The best thing you can do is to encourage him to go in for writing/study skills/math tutoring, whatever. You're not familiar with the institution, its standards, and you don't really know where your own skills fall in the grand scheme of things (that's the unfortunate result of grade inflation, please don't take offense.) He should seek help from the school he attends.

Objectively, you can probably do a lot more good in the second scenario than in the first.
posted by vincele at 1:09 PM on August 8 [1 favorite has favorites]

For your friend, I'm not sure why "When I was in college..." would be obnoxious. You completed your college education and your friend is starting his. Treat it like the normal thing that it is: not everyone starts college at 18 or finishes at 22. You can only really speak from your own college experience, so "When I was in college, we did X, Y, and Z" is most accurate thing you can say--plenty of things have changed in the past five years. He may feel embarrassed or uncomfortable going in as an older student, and probably one of the best things you can do that his college may not be able to provide is to frame it as "It's so great you're getting your BA! Here's what I loved about college: [whatever]; and the thing I wish I'd known going in was: [whatever]" rather than focusing on his age and other differences compared to most of the other students.
posted by Meg_Murry at 1:20 PM on August 8

I couldn't agree more with k8t. It's all too easy to become discouraged by the confusion of FAFSA, the PROFILE, and whatever other financial aid forms schools throw at applicants, especially for low-income students, and even more so for students whose parents are divorced or separated. If the students have someone familiar with the forms to help them through the process, it will be much more enticing to apply for financial aid. They should also be aware that, if given the right reasons to woo a student, schools are often quite willing to give lots in grants.
posted by punchdrunkhistory at 1:24 PM on August 8

I would also place emphasis on the FAFSA and other forms as well as letting them know about deadlines to fill this stuff out. This was one of the most frustrating things especially since I had very little support. Directing them to wear all of this information exists - calendars, directories...

My family was not really a part of the process but I did have a counselor at school who was awesome. And it made all of the difference. He just made it seem like it was totally something that I could do even though that had not occurred to me.

If possible offer a lot of help on developing study skills. Seems obvious but not everyone knows how to do this.
posted by mokeydraws at 5:14 PM on August 8

OK had an answer and lost it so I'll try to reconstruct what I'd written. Basically kids from an underprivileged background likely don't have parents who can guide them through the application process, both for college and financial aid, since it's all new to them as well. If they are immigrants they may not even be fluent enough in English to fill out the portions of the financial aid forms. They may even have parents who are resistant to the idea. I grew up relatively poor with parents who were both first generation Americans who were pulled out of school in the 6th grade to start earning money for their families or look after younger siblings so that both parents could work (this was eons ago, I'm not ancient, but my parents were older when they had me). Anyway my dad, while not actively preventing me from going to college, didn't actively help me either. He just felt that I'd be fine with a H.S. degree since it was so much more than he had and that college was not for "people like us." He was also proud, stubborn, and totally against government handouts, so he wouldn't fill out the financial aid forms or tell me his yearly income.

I'm just recounting my experience to say that in some cases these kids will not only be dealing with the added challenges of trying to rise up from an underprivileged background and competing with kids who went to better schools, had tutors, after school music lessons, etc, but also be dealing with resistance from family, friends, and the community in general, that someone who comes from a milieu in which it's just expected that everyone goes to college after high school, may not even be aware.

My only suggestion that goes beyond what everyone else has written, is that maybe you could offer to meet with the parents? Offer a session on navigating the dreaded FAFSA and why it's so important?

I think that it's great that you're doing this!
posted by kaybdc at 5:44 PM on August 8

Now that I am on a computer versus phone, here's a link to my U's 1st gen college student page.

They have services like counselors that help address 1st gen student needs, help them get resources, etc.

I know of a few students that used this and told me that it was extremely helpful. Finding schools that have this sort of program may be a good idea.

Also, just to add to what everyone else is saying, don't assume that they know "what to do" - because they may not. I felt this way when applying to graduate school. My parents were of no help because they didn't understand the process. A good mentor would have done me wonders.

Also try not to play sides. Your role in the students' lives vis-a-vis their parents may be complex. Watch out for that.
posted by k8t at 6:22 PM on August 8