I'm looking for amusing phrases that could be found on old health tonic/elixir advertisements.
August 2, 2009 9:51 PM   Subscribe

I'm looking for amusing phrases that could be found on old health tonic/elixir advertisements. They don't have to be real, just funny. Example: "Most beneficial for the humors!"
posted by SouthCNorthNY to Media & Arts (5 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
 
Browse away.
posted by dhartung at 11:21 PM on August 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Maybe some ideas here?
posted by sharkfu at 11:22 PM on August 2, 2009


Just talk to someone in their 60s and up.

As a kid I used to think my grandma took the weirdest stuff to boost her health. The list included beeswax, fish oil, and my personal favorite: Shark cartilage. She would tell us how she heard about each one, and what it was supposed to cure. I can't remember the exact reasons, which were probably some of what you're looking for, but we grand-kids were pretty amused.

Now in her mid-80s, she still takes fish oil and some real medicine with meals, but I always ask if it's time for her shark cartilage - even though I know she doesn't take that anymore. (I have an odd suspicion that it's no longer FDA approved, or something equally suspicious.)

Shark cartilage: It cures what ails ya!
posted by Kimothy at 11:57 PM on August 2, 2009


I'm betting the shark cartilage was before glucosamine, both used for osteoarthritis and arthritis. And, fish oil is a staple in health food stores. It's horrible stuff, even the best of it. It seems to be sold as a general cure-all rather than for anything specific.

My grandfather used to have large flat tins of salve: green for this; amber for that. Also Little Egypt's wart cure, if I remember correctly. When he died, my uncle tossed all the old fashioned patent medicines I was itching to get just for the exotic bottles and tins. It was so long ago, I don't remember the slogans. Have you look for old Watkins remedies?
posted by x46 at 4:55 AM on August 3, 2009


You should check out the revigator. Check that page and/or google around, and you should be able to find some good phrases about the problem of "tired" drinking water that has lost the "health element" of radioactivity and needs to have that "vigor" returned to it.
posted by madmethods at 9:20 AM on August 3, 2009


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