Care no more to clothe and eat
August 1, 2009 1:37 PM Subscribe
I am considering going to live with my 83 year-old grandmother, whom we think has some kind of (not yet diagnosed) dementia, in a year or so. She lives 500 miles from my friends and family. I know caring for her will be hard; how can I prepare?
posted by paduasoy to human relations (13 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
was my grandmother (step-grandmother, in fact), eighteen months ago. Since then her memory has got worse and her ability to care for herself has declined. She has lost weight ('fridge full of gone-off food) and is currently wearing the same clothes that she has been wearing for at least three or four weeks. Her rationality has also declined a bit.
She appears very anxious about her memory loss but in denial about it. I live 500 miles away. We visited two weeks ago and are going back in the next few weeks because of further concerns from other people in the neighbourhood. A friend of hers is going to the doctor with her next week. We have talked to her about power of attorney and the forms for this are ready to be signed by her doctor (who has to confirm that she currently has capacity to grant a power of attorney).
I am planning to use as much of my leave as possible to visit her, and am considering moving to live with her in about 12-18 months. I have commitments here until then (I do realise she may die before then, or have to go into residential care). My question is, what can I do now to prepare for the possibility of caring for her? I would plan to get a job for about three days a week whilst doing so. She lives in a rural area.