Will a dog ruin my friendship with my cat?

July 30, 2009 11:50 AM

My cats and I have a good thing going. Will introducing a puppy make them hate me forever?

One of the cats is very aloof, although it seems like he's really very lonely and just pretends to be above it all. My wife and I have gone through a lot to reassure him that we really do love him and all that and he's gotten more snuggly. I don't want to send him into a permanent self imposed emotional exile.

How did your furry family members get over the addition of a new sibling?

posted by muscat to pets & animals (19 comments total)

How are your other cats? How are they with people? Puppies can be funny, my parents have one who just wanted to play with their cat. The cat was initially afraid of the puppy, but then the cat realized the puppy was no threat. Their dog was always smaller than the cat, which I think helped the balance of power and intimidation.

My parents-in-law have an older dog and two grouchy cats. They introduced the second cat and the dog to the first cat a the same time, and they're mostly distant from each-other, and they all have enough space to co-exist.
posted by filthy light thief at 12:05 PM on July 30

Addendum: my parent's dog became my mother's baby. He can do no wrong in her eyes. The cat was self-sufficient, and received personal time with my parents when the dog was elsewhere. On the other hand, my parents-in-law keep their cats inside, and the dog outside (except for evenings, when the dog comes in to sleep). Their cats got plenty of love (or at least as much as the cats were willing to receive).

In short: make sure you don't ignore the cats for the dog.
posted by filthy light thief at 12:07 PM on July 30

After 6 months, 25% of our cats learned to ignore the new puppy once he (giveaway: we have 4 cats) realized he was in a prime position to harvest table scraps after the other 75% exiled themselves in protest. So according to our sample you have a 1 in 4 chance of opportunistic tolerance.
posted by rocketpup at 12:07 PM on July 30

I think that as long as the cats are in charge, you wont have any problems. If you get a puppy that starts off smaller than the cat this shouldn't be an issue. We introduced a puppy to our very grouchy cat when I was a kid and it worked out great! They cat made the rules and the dog (golden retriver) knew that she was to follow them. When the dog died at eleven the cat looked all around the house for her for days.
However, cats are unpredictable creatures.
posted by emmysue01 at 12:21 PM on July 30

When we added a lab puppy to our family, my cat established her dominance almost immediately. Unfortunately, my puppy got a scratched eyeball in the process, but a trip to the vet got him fixed back up.

It's 11 years later and the cat and the dog tolerate each other just fine. The cat is still the dominant animal in our household.

I think that puppies are such goofy critters that it's difficult for cats to take them seriously in the first place.
posted by Ostara at 12:28 PM on July 30

Also, call or go by your local animal shelter and talk to them about introductions. that's super, super important with cats. They can help you with that.
posted by lumpenprole at 12:34 PM on July 30

Out of my seven cats, three like the dogs, two peacefully coexist with the dogs, and two grudgingly coexist with the dogs. Only two of the cats were raised with dogs, but both of the dogs were raised with cats. I don't know what effect that has on their relations.
posted by crankylex at 12:34 PM on July 30

Friends of mine got a puppy and added it to an already-established mix of two cats, who promptly spent the next few years avoiding touching the ground. Hop to the washer, hop to the dryer, hop to the bookcase. All to get away from the dog. Their fur fell out and became patchy from the stress of avoiding bouncy puppy who transmuted into "Let's play!" dog.

Once they got rid of the dog, the fur came back and the cats weren't quite so panicky.

I suspect the breed of dog selected will have as much impact as the personalities of the cats.
posted by adipocere at 12:38 PM on July 30

I have 3 cats and one Golden Retriever. From my experience, it was much harder to introduce the third cat than it was the dog. I worked hard with the puppy to establish what was acceptable behavior and what wasn't acceptable from the beginning. The dog wants nothing more than to be buds with the cats. They normally don't anything to do with her.
posted by Silvertree at 12:51 PM on July 30

We had 2 4-year-old cats, and got a 6-month-old shepherd puppy. We put a baby gate up across the door of one spare bedroom, with enough room below it for the cats to get in and out but not the dog. Their litter box, food and beds are all in there. One of the cats adapted pretty quickly, the other took quite a long time...several years really...to get up the nerve to face the dog. For several years she only came out of the bedroom when the dog was asleep elsewhere. But now it's not unusual to find Shy Cat and Dog on the couch at the same time, although there is regular hissing until the safe distance is established.

If you can give the cats a large enough safe place, and give them plenty of attention without the dog around to worry about, it is possible to have it work out. Put your foot down with the dog about chasing the cats, and don't leave them together unsupervised until everyone is comfortable and you trust everyone. Only last week (after 4 years) did we start leaving the bedroom door open to let the cats have free run of the house when there was no one home (I guess we could have done it sooner, but we just got in the habit of putting the cats in their bedroom when we left...the dog was just too high-energy as a puppy to trust with the cats).
posted by lemonade at 12:53 PM on July 30 [1 favorite]

You just never know. The one time puppies were introduced to our household, two out of three cats adapted well, mostly ignoring them. One had previously lived with and actually really liked a dog of the same breed, starting when SHE was a kitten. The other had never lived with dogs but had a strong personality and wasn't threatened by them. The third, the one that was already at the bottom of the pecking order, basically saw it as the last straw and retreated to the senile next door neighbor who couldn't remember she wasn't his cat and wouldn't stop feeding her. We got her back later, when the neighbor was committed. The end.
posted by lampoil at 1:32 PM on July 30

Funny thing about cats is, in my experience, they will realize the puppy is a baby and boss him around. Every dog I had was pretty much dominated by the cats, except for the cat-sized terrier, who was sure she was Queen. Over the years we had 10 dogs and 15 cats (not all at the same time). No problems, and some of the dogs were adults when we got them, but all of the cats were kittens. If the dog is aggressive toward the cats, keep them apart when you are not around. We have found that a few swats from a cat convince a dog to leave cats alone. Nothing like the look on a Weimeraner's face when he realizes the cat is armed and dangerous.
posted by fifilaru at 2:48 PM on July 30

I had some ancient, ancient cats when I got my first puppy, about 10 years ago. The cats immediately taught the chow puppy the meaning of the words "respect" and "fear". We got a kitten at about the same time, and that cat and the dog sleep together, give each other baths, and generally love each other.

When we got our latest puppy and kitten, we got them at about the same time, and while Venus FlyCat won't often go out of her way to bathe the dogs, she's pretty calm about being lurped, and the dog dropping toys on her to tempt her into playtime. The older cat isn't terribly interested in the puppy

Right at this moment, my old chow is snoring away, with two cats draped across her, and the puppy is asleep right behind her.
posted by dejah420 at 2:59 PM on July 30

uh, dejah420, I think that last sentence requires photos.

I only have cats, but several family members have integrated dogs and cats into their household with mixed success. My uncle had two cats when they got their goofy yellow lab puppy, who wanted nothing more than to be best friends with the cats. One of them thought he was okay, taught him that she was the boss, and they got along just fine. The other one retreated upstairs in protest and didn't come down for 3 years. They had to start feeding her upstairs (litter was already up there) because she just refused to come downstairs and interact with the dog. After the dog-friendly cat died, the upstairs cat started coming downstairs and just studiously ignored the dog no matter how much he followed her around sniffing her tail. No fights, just ignoring.

Cats are funny. I doubt your cats will hate you, but they might not like the dog all that much. Just discourage the puppy from behaving aggressively towards the cats and make sure to give the cats the same amount of attention you give them now.
posted by bedhead at 3:19 PM on July 30

Of 5 cats, 2 hate the dog, and 3 despise the dog. The dog adores the cats (all cats, as I have learned from petsitting: some of those cats have liked or tolerated the dog). They now accept that they live in the same house, and even occasionally stay on the couch watching tv if the dog comes in, but there is no love from the cats, just grudging resentment. They tend to hide more during the day when the dog is free and be more present at night when I'd prefer to sleep.
posted by jeather at 3:26 PM on July 30

I have 3 cats. A year ago I got a German Shepherd puppy. One cat (a princess) HATES the dog and screeches and hyperventilates whenever he approaches her. One cat (a scaredy cat by nature, but will snuggle if you initiate) just kind of avoids the dog at all costs. One cat (a somewhat hyper and young tabby) puts up with the dog. Like the dog will occasionally molest him with his nose, poking around his belly and neck way harder than a cat would like I'd think but the cat just takes it.

What I think helps the situation is that the cats are allowed outside during the day if they want, but most of all we have strategic baby gates placed so that the cats have their own area of the house where they can go to get away from the dog.
posted by sickinthehead at 4:24 PM on July 30

Oh, and I should say that I don't think any of my cats are particularly thrilled that he's there, but all of my animals are so damn spoiled that I deserve a concession on their part.
posted by sickinthehead at 4:26 PM on July 30

We have four cats and got a lab puppy in March. We specifically got a puppy so it get used to cats early on and because it would be a baby when introduced into the family (other animals tend to be easier on a babies). We had visions of everyone playing together after a couple of weeks acclimation period, but obviously that didn't happen.

It took a couple of months, but everyone got used to each other. The puppy doesn't chase the cats, the cats tolerate the puppy. All is well.

A couple things we did: We always feed the cats first (on a table in the kitchen), we let them work their relationship out with very minimal intervention, we make sure to pay a lot of attention to the cats (puppies are a HUGE attention suck), we're training the dog so that if any kerfuffles break out he will listen to us. We also take the dog out a lot and send him to daycare a couple of days a week so they get some non-puppy time.

Good luck!
posted by Kimberly at 7:43 AM on July 31

The cats probably won't hate you forever, but like a lot of others have said, be prepared for at least a little drama. We had one cat and an older dog who tolerated each other, never had problems. Then we introduced a puppy into the mix. The cat promptly lost all the fur on her neck from stress (according to my vet). The naked skin then began bleeding a lot due to the fact that she kept licking it and irritating it. It took months for her to settle down, but she does fine now and tolerates the dog. They're never going to be best friends, but they're ok together. And to reiterate what a few others have said - when the puppy was having a particularly rambunctious day (which was a lot!), we didn't let him anywhere near the cat. It just helped her to feel safer that we were protecting her from his excessive puppiness.

Everything could be just fine and you'll have no problems, but be prepared for the worst and hope for the best! And by the way, the cat's fur did grow back eventually.
posted by fresh-rn at 11:11 AM on July 31