I don't want my dad driving his brother around in my car.
July 28, 2009 7:06 AM Subscribe
My dad generally drives his brother, a registered child molester, anywhere he needs to go, which amounts to maybe 1 trip a week. My dad and I will soon be (hopefully temporarily) sharing a car. I do not want my uncle in my car. My dad doesn't share my concern.
posted by anonymous to grab bag (26 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
In the past, my mom drove me so crazy bitching about it that I had to sit my dad down and tell him not to loan his truck out to his brother any more (because if he used it to commit a crime, she would be an accessory since her name was on the truck's title too). Yes I know my mom should have done it, but she didn't, and I did... that's not what this question is about. At one point I said, "but Dad, he's a child molester." My dad said, "so what?"
My uncle, having once been fired from a public school janitorial position for inappropriate conduct with a student, was arrested and served a prison sentence for molesting his grandchildren. He has completed the 10-year probation which required him to avoid being around children. My dad feels he has paid his debt to society.
My mom and I feel differently. Those kids he molested will never be the same. What my dad does not know is that I was molested as a child for over 4 years, though by a cousin on my mom's side of the family, not my uncle. My mom feels that if my dad knew this he would "go ballistic" and call my cousin a scumbag and cause all sorts of trouble. (I think he would too, given his history.) But when it's his family, it's different. (My dad even bailed him out of jail when he was initially arrested, without asking, to my mother's fury.)
My dad knows my mom does not want him driving her car at all (not least because he's a REALLY bad driver and tends break every car he touches, destroying transmissions and drivetrains). So he keeps saying he and I are going to have to share a car. His is near the end of its life and he wants to trade it in on the CARS program, and I just happen to be in need of a car. I don't really want him sharing my car either, but if I must, I certainly do not want a registered sex offender to be recognized in my car, especially since I work in childcare. I feel I am risking my job and potentially any future related careers.
Although the car will be in my name, due to their financial assistance and general family pressures, I really can't refuse to lend my dad my car from time to time (about once a week), especially since when I have been carless, he lent me his.
How do I make my dad "get" that I don't want anything to do with a child molester but especially do not want my car being used to ferry him around? (Yes, I realize my dad could agree with me on the surface and then sneak around driving his brother anyways, but I am hoping he won't.) I would really prefer he keep his still-functioning car so we each have our own, but he is pressuring us to take the Cash For Clunkers deal quickly, fearing the money will run out soon.