Over the past year, I have slowly been dumped by a friend... I think? Should I just let her go? How to deal with the hurt feelings? What questions should I be asking about my own role in the breakup?
Not long ago, a friend, let's call her Lisa, stopped returning most of my communications and started breaking plans with me. A lot. We are both very, very busy, but it's gotten to the point now where we haven't seen each other in at least six months.
I know that Lisa suffers from depression, and I believe that she has isolated herself not just from me but from certain other mutual friends. Part of me thinks that this is a symptom of that depression and that I should go out of my way to let her know that I care. Then again, I kind of think I have already tried to do this, perhaps ineffectively, and I need to let her take responsibility for her own mental health, if that is even at issue. How do you know when to stop trying with someone?
I keep telling myself that it's probably Lisa's deal, not mine... She has has at least two intense friendship breakups (which involved arguments and a lot of venting to me on Lisa's part), so it seems like she my have a pattern of idealizing-and-rejecting people. There's also various social entanglements that might have bred awkwardness between, though it didn't feel that way to me. There's also the possibility that we got busy, didn't see each other for very long, and then just drifted apart...
question, and its responses, had me feeling paranoid and even sadder, but it also made me wonder what I could have done to trigger the breakup. To me honest, I am somewhat loud, kind of a social butterfly, certainly have a vast supply of other imperfections. If I were like "Kelly," how would I know? What should I do to better myself from this experience?
Now that I'm coming to terms with the fact that she just might not be into being my friend. Whatever the reason, I feel angry, hurt, rejected... How can I deal with these feelings? How can I keep a a sense of unconditional positive regard toward this person that I do like, actually?