Sex ed books for 14-year-old girl (USA)?
July 17, 2009 5:50 AM Subscribe
Sex ed books for 14-year-old girl (USA)?
We're quiet open about sexuality with our kids, and my daughter knows the basic facts. But it's time for her to learn all the details. She has not had a boyfriend yet, but that's bound to happen soon, and I want to make sure she's fully informed.
She is a bookworm, so giving her books is a good way for her to learn.
Recommendations?
We're quiet open about sexuality with our kids, and my daughter knows the basic facts. But it's time for her to learn all the details. She has not had a boyfriend yet, but that's bound to happen soon, and I want to make sure she's fully informed.
She is a bookworm, so giving her books is a good way for her to learn.
Recommendations?
My mom handed me a copy of Reubens' "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex" (not the movie) and that was that. But I strongly recommend "Our Bodies, Ourselves."
posted by heather-b at 5:58 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by heather-b at 5:58 AM on July 17, 2009
I second Our Bodies, Ourselves but there is a teen version called Changing Bodies, Changing Lives. My mom got me something similar when I was a kid. And you might want to check out this thread at Feministing. There are some great links.
posted by cachondeo45 at 6:05 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by cachondeo45 at 6:05 AM on July 17, 2009
The book my parents gave me when I was about her age was Changing Bodies, Changing Lives, which I think is excellent. Our Bodies, Ourselves usually gets high marks as well, but I can't compare the two directly (I'm not really in the target audience for Our Bodies, Ourselves.)
posted by Johnny Assay at 6:09 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by Johnny Assay at 6:09 AM on July 17, 2009
Nthing Changing Bodies Changing Lives, which I read at that age. It is a phenomenal book, covers absolutely everything, and, like Our Bodies Ourselves, it's full of quotes from real kids, which makes it very relatable.
posted by wholebroad at 6:19 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by wholebroad at 6:19 AM on July 17, 2009
I don't have kids, and I am well past your daughter's age, but the two books that helps me when I was a kid (with less open parents than yourself) were Judy Blume's "Are You There God, It's Me Margaret" (for girl stuff) and "Then Again Maybe I Won't" (for boy stuff -- which was very helpful for me so I knew boys were having weirdness just like me!)
posted by macadamiaranch at 6:26 AM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by macadamiaranch at 6:26 AM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
I'm sorry, I misread your question. Both of my suggestions aren't so much "facts & figures" or whatever. I was a *total* bookworm as a kid (still am) and I started with the Blume books, then whatever questions I had from there I'd look up. So maybe they'll be useful places to start.
posted by macadamiaranch at 6:28 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by macadamiaranch at 6:28 AM on July 17, 2009
The Period Book, while being mostly a guide to what to expect during puberty (a la American Girl's The Care and Keeping of You) has a great introductory discussion of sex and sexuality. It's been a while since I've read the book, so I suggest you take a look to see if it's the level you're looking for, but it might be a good first step (not too graphic or detailed, just the facts).
posted by ocherdraco at 6:38 AM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by ocherdraco at 6:38 AM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
I am biased, because I worked on this book (research assistant). Disclaimer aside, it's the most comprehensive I've seen and gives a lot of thought to the idea of readiness. It's also the most inclusive of any sex-ed book I've read.
S.E.X.: The all-you-need-to-know progressive sexuality guide to get you through high school and college
posted by fiercecupcake at 6:48 AM on July 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
S.E.X.: The all-you-need-to-know progressive sexuality guide to get you through high school and college
posted by fiercecupcake at 6:48 AM on July 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
I've always been a bookworm, and the most memorable/helpful book on sex that I read was the Kinsey Institute New Report on Sex. But, ultimately, what was really helpful was reading widely, considering a number of perspectives... so I recommend all of the above: Changing Bodies, Changing Lives; Our Bodies, Our Selves; S.E.X... the whole shebang (er... not meant as a pun, but how do you spell that expression anyway?)
posted by ndicecco at 7:12 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by ndicecco at 7:12 AM on July 17, 2009
I remember finding my way to that section of the library when I was a young teen. Sometimes I would just read the books in the corner, soaking in the information while being a bit too shy to actually check the books out.
Two books I remember loving are It's a Girl Thing and Deal with It! Now, I haven't read these books in quite a while, but I remembered them immediately from their covers while browsing Amazon.
It's a Girl Thing is helpful and fairly in-depth. It's slim, but has a lot of good information. Deal with It! has a fun, funky voice. It feels very hip, with clean and colorful illustrations filling the whole book. It also touches an sexuality quite a bit, which made the book feel kind of naughty to me at the time. All the same, I ended up buying a copy for myself.
I also recommend Changing Bodies, Changing Lives. It was filled with anecdotes, but didn't quite capture me the way the two afforementioned books did. I suggest raiding your local library; even in my quiet, small-town library branch, I was able to find plenty of stuff to keep my mind a-tick.
posted by ElectricBlue at 7:12 AM on July 17, 2009
Two books I remember loving are It's a Girl Thing and Deal with It! Now, I haven't read these books in quite a while, but I remembered them immediately from their covers while browsing Amazon.
It's a Girl Thing is helpful and fairly in-depth. It's slim, but has a lot of good information. Deal with It! has a fun, funky voice. It feels very hip, with clean and colorful illustrations filling the whole book. It also touches an sexuality quite a bit, which made the book feel kind of naughty to me at the time. All the same, I ended up buying a copy for myself.
I also recommend Changing Bodies, Changing Lives. It was filled with anecdotes, but didn't quite capture me the way the two afforementioned books did. I suggest raiding your local library; even in my quiet, small-town library branch, I was able to find plenty of stuff to keep my mind a-tick.
posted by ElectricBlue at 7:12 AM on July 17, 2009
When I was that age, my sister got me a copy of an updated Our Bodies, Our Selves. I was terribly embarrassed, but it was terrific. To this day, I know more about birth control than most people I know, including high school friends who went through the same sex ed as classes me.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 7:20 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 7:20 AM on July 17, 2009
The Unfair Sex, originally published in the 1960s, and has been republished.
It's not the mechanics of sex-ed. It's about all the ways guys will try to trick you into going farther than you'd like and how to stop them. But it's not a prudish 1960s book (although they do assume that most girls will want to wait until they're married to have sex, just a factor of the times); it's like Helen Gurley Brown style, full of humor and the 60s-equivalent of girl power.
posted by thebazilist at 7:22 AM on July 17, 2009
It's not the mechanics of sex-ed. It's about all the ways guys will try to trick you into going farther than you'd like and how to stop them. But it's not a prudish 1960s book (although they do assume that most girls will want to wait until they're married to have sex, just a factor of the times); it's like Helen Gurley Brown style, full of humor and the 60s-equivalent of girl power.
posted by thebazilist at 7:22 AM on July 17, 2009
A very dogeared copy of Forever by Judy Blume made its way through our school when I was about that age.
posted by handee at 7:26 AM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by handee at 7:26 AM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
Growing up in the 1970s, I think a lot of the girls of my generation learned the facts - not the scientific facts, but the "what two people do together" facts - from Judy Blume's Forever.
posted by chez shoes at 7:27 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by chez shoes at 7:27 AM on July 17, 2009
A friend gave my daughter For Yourself. I really do not know how it went over with her, given the Prime Directive and all, but I was appreciative.
posted by Danf at 7:49 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by Danf at 7:49 AM on July 17, 2009
Around that age, my parents gave me "Girl Talk" by Carol Weston (okay, so it wasn't that particular edition). It's a pretty all-around-helpful book - not preachy or judgmental and very much fact-based. It gives a lot of great "where to get more info" advice or "how to figure out your own feelings on assorted difficult subjects".
posted by VioletU at 8:20 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by VioletU at 8:20 AM on July 17, 2009
Larry Gonick is known for writing, co-writing and inking quirky and fun, yet very surprisingly informative, graphic-novel books about a lot of weighty topics -- chemistry, history, statistics, physics, genetics, and more -- and one of his "Cartoon Guides to...." is about sex.
It is just as exhaustive as all of his other titles, covering everything from "how might sex have developed as a means of reproduction in the first place" to sexual health matters, to interpersonal issues (how to discuss and resolve differences with your partner), to ethics (what is and is not rape, what is and is not harrassment, how to handle these issues, etc.). It's exhaustive to the point that you may even want to take a quick flip through to see if there's anything you would rather she not see ("....Okay, I like what it says about contraception, but do I really want the kid to know about fetishes? Hmm."), but I still think it's fantastic.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:38 AM on July 17, 2009
It is just as exhaustive as all of his other titles, covering everything from "how might sex have developed as a means of reproduction in the first place" to sexual health matters, to interpersonal issues (how to discuss and resolve differences with your partner), to ethics (what is and is not rape, what is and is not harrassment, how to handle these issues, etc.). It's exhaustive to the point that you may even want to take a quick flip through to see if there's anything you would rather she not see ("....Okay, I like what it says about contraception, but do I really want the kid to know about fetishes? Hmm."), but I still think it's fantastic.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:38 AM on July 17, 2009
Nthing American Girl's The Care and Keeping of You.
posted by alon at 10:04 AM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by alon at 10:04 AM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
I got What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex by Hilda Hutchinson when I was 16 and found it useful. Now my little sister has it and I've graduated to the Guide to Getting it on.
posted by carolr at 10:12 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by carolr at 10:12 AM on July 17, 2009
The Teenage Body Book.
I remember finding comfort in that book as a middle school student. It was informative and never seemed preachy. It covers a lot more than just sexual issues, and it takes into account things like sexuality being connected to body image issues and peer pressure and gives a fuller picture of what to expect and how to handle challenges as they arise.
posted by Brody's chum at 10:31 AM on July 17, 2009
I remember finding comfort in that book as a middle school student. It was informative and never seemed preachy. It covers a lot more than just sexual issues, and it takes into account things like sexuality being connected to body image issues and peer pressure and gives a fuller picture of what to expect and how to handle challenges as they arise.
posted by Brody's chum at 10:31 AM on July 17, 2009
Nthing Changing Bodies, Changing Lives. Almost too kind and understanding – it's like the teen sex-ed book Mr. Rogers might have written. And full of excerpts from interviews, with stories and feelings of teenagers themselves (the slang may read a bit dated, but the experiences are still current).
posted by RogerB at 11:54 AM on July 17, 2009
posted by RogerB at 11:54 AM on July 17, 2009
I wanted to add that you should strongly think about multiple books, at different times.
What my mom did, because I too was a bookworm and very self-conscious of my body at that age, was stick a pile of books in my room every so often. Different books, sometimes ones on periods and menstrual cycles alone, sometimes comprehensive ones like Changing Bodies, sometimes a mixture depending on what she saw that was new or interesting at the library.
She should, however, have made it clearer that she was also open to talking to me about it and not just providing me books (which, btw, heartily embarrassed me, but I did read them and I think there's no getting around the embarrassment of the topic when you're that age).
I think it's important to clearly communicate that you as parents are open to verbal discussion, even though you're also giving her books so that she can learn about the topic. You state that you are quite open with your daughter about sexuality, so I'm hoping that you're asking this anonymously for a reason other than shame or discomfort with the topic--she's going to need to talk to someone once she digests the information in these books.
Overall, she'll probably be better prepared than her peers, so congrats for being willing to tackle a touchy subject.
posted by librarylis at 3:05 PM on July 18, 2009
What my mom did, because I too was a bookworm and very self-conscious of my body at that age, was stick a pile of books in my room every so often. Different books, sometimes ones on periods and menstrual cycles alone, sometimes comprehensive ones like Changing Bodies, sometimes a mixture depending on what she saw that was new or interesting at the library.
She should, however, have made it clearer that she was also open to talking to me about it and not just providing me books (which, btw, heartily embarrassed me, but I did read them and I think there's no getting around the embarrassment of the topic when you're that age).
I think it's important to clearly communicate that you as parents are open to verbal discussion, even though you're also giving her books so that she can learn about the topic. You state that you are quite open with your daughter about sexuality, so I'm hoping that you're asking this anonymously for a reason other than shame or discomfort with the topic--she's going to need to talk to someone once she digests the information in these books.
Overall, she'll probably be better prepared than her peers, so congrats for being willing to tackle a touchy subject.
posted by librarylis at 3:05 PM on July 18, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by parmanparman at 5:57 AM on July 17, 2009