What is it about other people being wrong that makes us mad?
July 14, 2009 11:58 PM Subscribe
You, sir, are an idiot: What is it about other people being wrong that makes us mad?
I mean, we've all been there, right? But...why? What is it about being confronted with a "wrong" opinion or statement that makes us rush to correct it? Does the persistence of wrongness threaten our own certainty in our rightness? Or is it merely enraging because it suggests that the "wrong" side is winning, that the wrong opinion holds sway in the minds of the public at large and must therefore be challenged/destroyed? Do we conceive of someone else's wrongness as an insult? An attack? A flaw? A threat?
A recent argument with a friend made me start thinking about this. Not the fact of the argument --- the conversational equivalent of light sparring is what 90% of our mutual discussions consist of --- but a point he made about the implacable nature of people's beliefs. This made me realize that my own personal Theory of Wrongness had an unaddressed flaw or gap.
My Theory has always been that when one truly believes in X, when one is absolutely certain of X's truth, it's because X lines up not only with one's rational analysis but also with one's temperament and one's experiences of the world. We feel X to be true, we know X is true, and the truth of X is an epiphany that carries much explanatory power for us as to how the world works or why people act the way they do. (X="There is no god" "Government is essentially incompetent" "The man is alway trying to get you down" "The designated hitter is an abomination")
So when we encounter people who do not believe in X, we can conceive of only three possibilities: They're either Stupid, Crazy, or Lying.
Oh, sure, there are certain subjects on which we might allow that reasonable people can differ, and certain others on which we ourselves are entirely open to changing our minds if we encounter new evidence. But for the big stuff, the stuff we believe in our heart of hearts about how the world works --- well, even if we're polite about it if you came right down to it we basically think anyone who disagrees with us is one of the above.
So far, so good. But here the gap --- why does that piss us off? After all, if I think someone is, on a broad and fundamental level, stupid or crazy, I would tend to pity them for their lack of understanding, and to be contemptuous of a liar. But someone who holds and incorrect opinion inspires a desire to argue them down. Years of experience with the internet have made me occasionally sensible enough not to give in to that desire, but every forum has its topic which is guaranteed to produce a flame war if brought up. (And it's not just the internet; etiquette has been trying to warn people away from sex, religion and politics over the dinner table for centuries. To save people's digestion, if nothing else.) It appears to be a nigh-universal human impulse. But what causes it? Anyone have a take? A scientific analysis which touches on the topic, or a blog post which looks at it?
I mean, we've all been there, right? But...why? What is it about being confronted with a "wrong" opinion or statement that makes us rush to correct it? Does the persistence of wrongness threaten our own certainty in our rightness? Or is it merely enraging because it suggests that the "wrong" side is winning, that the wrong opinion holds sway in the minds of the public at large and must therefore be challenged/destroyed? Do we conceive of someone else's wrongness as an insult? An attack? A flaw? A threat?
A recent argument with a friend made me start thinking about this. Not the fact of the argument --- the conversational equivalent of light sparring is what 90% of our mutual discussions consist of --- but a point he made about the implacable nature of people's beliefs. This made me realize that my own personal Theory of Wrongness had an unaddressed flaw or gap.
My Theory has always been that when one truly believes in X, when one is absolutely certain of X's truth, it's because X lines up not only with one's rational analysis but also with one's temperament and one's experiences of the world. We feel X to be true, we know X is true, and the truth of X is an epiphany that carries much explanatory power for us as to how the world works or why people act the way they do. (X="There is no god" "Government is essentially incompetent" "The man is alway trying to get you down" "The designated hitter is an abomination")
So when we encounter people who do not believe in X, we can conceive of only three possibilities: They're either Stupid, Crazy, or Lying.
Oh, sure, there are certain subjects on which we might allow that reasonable people can differ, and certain others on which we ourselves are entirely open to changing our minds if we encounter new evidence. But for the big stuff, the stuff we believe in our heart of hearts about how the world works --- well, even if we're polite about it if you came right down to it we basically think anyone who disagrees with us is one of the above.
So far, so good. But here the gap --- why does that piss us off? After all, if I think someone is, on a broad and fundamental level, stupid or crazy, I would tend to pity them for their lack of understanding, and to be contemptuous of a liar. But someone who holds and incorrect opinion inspires a desire to argue them down. Years of experience with the internet have made me occasionally sensible enough not to give in to that desire, but every forum has its topic which is guaranteed to produce a flame war if brought up. (And it's not just the internet; etiquette has been trying to warn people away from sex, religion and politics over the dinner table for centuries. To save people's digestion, if nothing else.) It appears to be a nigh-universal human impulse. But what causes it? Anyone have a take? A scientific analysis which touches on the topic, or a blog post which looks at it?
This post was deleted for the following reason: This is pretty much chatfilter. I can't see there being much of an answer. -- mathowie
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