Regaining confidence after crappy review?

July 13, 2009 4:19 AM

I had a shitty performance review. How do I gain back my confidence?

A few weeks ago, I had my first annual performance review and it was quite bad (although my sixth month review was absolutely glowing, so go figure). The bad annual review was not a total surprise given that I had made a few mistakes on things in the weeks leading up to the review; mistakes which I chalk up to a combination of inexperience and a need to be more detail-oriented, as well as management issues.

I've learned a lot from my mistakes and managers from this experience. Which is great. But I feel like I have absolutely ZERO confidence in myself now, and it's overshadowing all of the good things about my life now. Which sucks. Any tips on how to get my confidence back? Apart from the obvious 'improve my performance and show that I've learned from my mistakes'?

posted by jennyhead to work & money (17 comments total)

Is there some high-ROI side project, organizing or setting a new system up, that you could take on and bust out with a few late nights or a weekend? I think you need to make a genuine sacrifice of time and effort on the altar of "company loyalty". If you can do this with success and a little panache you will expiate your past sins and lift and gird your self confidence.
posted by XMLicious at 4:38 AM on July 13

Give yourself work goals. Weekly goal, monthly goals, quarterly goals.

The goals are based on, "What have I done this week/month/quarter that will make my manager happy?"

Whether the things that make them happy are actually good/useful/etc. is beside the point. As long as each week, you can feel confident in knowing that they will be happy with your achievements, you too will be happy.

Happy in the knowledge that if someone attacks you or your performance, your manager will defend you by pointing out the concrete examples you have furnished them with each week in the form of a short email.

You may be surprised by how much easier it is to let go the doubts and misigivings that can plague when you're confident your manager knows what you're doing, and what you've accomplished.

Works for me, anway.
posted by smoke at 4:39 AM on July 13 [1 favorite]

Was the review pointed in that it refereed to specific issues that you yourself know need addressing - or, was is general?

If the former, take it on board and learn, if the latter it may be a reflection of the glowing review- just to let you know they notice you. They do things like that.
posted by mattoxic at 4:40 AM on July 13

I've been there, and it's hard to not transfer what you are feeling at work into your whole life. I identify strongly with my professional persona, so the lines are often blurred. You start to doubt everything, especially if your perception of your job was different than how it came out in the review. You start mistrusting all of your perceptions. Honestly, I don't know if there is any magic method to combatting this other than giving yourself time, surrounding yourself with people and things that make you feel good and leaving the job at the job as much as possible.

How about setting small goals with you and your supervisor? Sit down together and set them in small stages that show growth. But set them together (i.e., this is what the Organization expects from you, this is what I expect from myself as a professional, are they same?) Meet weekly/bi-weekly to talk about the goals. I found this very helpful. If they want you to stay, and want to work on developing your talents, it is very helpful to meet regularly and review progress, not just twice a year. At least this way you have a more proactive role in making changes and can demonstrate growth regularly. It also gives your boss the chance to address issues immediately instead of throwing it all into a review when the company mandates reviews be done. It will also instill confidence in your employer if you are proactive and say that you want to have weekly supervision meetings to review progress.

Good luck!
posted by archimago at 5:04 AM on July 13

Are you sure the problem is with you? If your manager's opinion of you is going from "glowing" to "shitty" in 6 months, then maybe they just don't know what you do on a daily basis.
posted by selfmedicating at 5:26 AM on July 13

That you got a poor performance review also suggests that the manager does not know the purpose of performance reviews. One of the things these are for is actually to boost confidence and to inspire employees. Specific problems should not pile up and then be dumped on you at the performance review, they should be addressed immediately and proactively. If the problem is that these issues were addressed, and yet continued, the solution is not a bad performance review, it's a specific "shape up or else" meeting. What's the point of a performance review that makes your employee feel like crap? Great motivating tactic, there.

So if it makes you feel any better, that manager gets a poor performance review from me for not using this process in a more useful way.
posted by nax at 6:03 AM on July 13 [9 favorites]

It is concerning that you so rapidly went from "glowing" to "shitty." You implied that you have poor managers - and this would reflect some of that. Ideally, an annual review should encompass the full year's work. Unfortunately, this review was impacted by very recent events, and your managers didn't factor in the full year's worth of work.

The good news is that you have identified some of the factors that you need to improve upon: poor attention to detail, inexperience, and poor managers. The solution: you need to "manage up." Make sure to constantly communicate the actions you are performing, their current status, any challenges you have run up against, decisions you need from them before you can continue, and wins/completion of work. Do it in writing. Try to integrate this with some other weekly activity such as a weekly project update or in advance of a staff meeting. If those don't happen at your job, then write it on Tuesday and send it in on Wednesday morning.

By keeping your managers in the loop, there is a greater likelihood that they will be able to head off any inexperience-related issues. It also will force you to focus on the details.
posted by gagoumot at 6:24 AM on July 13

I feel your pain, jennyhead. I had a boss who demoralized me every year - no matter how well I had done, she found a reason to undermine my self confidence and head me into a tailspin. And my review was always scheduled for the last day before Christmas break - ouch.

Anyway, some parts of this article on "critical success factors" was helpful for me. I took my job description, went through it, and wrote a list of just 5 factors that I focused on. I also did what smoke suggested, above, and kept her informed of everything I did. That kind of thinking is out of character for me, but it seemed to help her - and that's the goal.

Keeping track of your achievements will also be helpful for updating your resume, and the best long term solution is to get a new job, and leave the bad vibes behind. Good luck!
posted by tizzie at 6:48 AM on July 13 [1 favorite]

you could seriously overthink this. I agree with the others that it is suspect that you went from glowing to awful. Fishy---but you also think it is accurate, so make the necessary adjustments and be careful not to beat yourself up about it. Consider excelling in something aside from work. Get some satisfaction from being a well rounded person with a life aside from employment. ie: if you are a good swimmer go swimming. If you are a gardner, garden. It is important not to get mired in negative thoughts about the review. You've apparently messed up, they told you, you make the obvious corrections and life continues well. It really should not necessary to flay yourself open over it.
posted by naplesyellow at 7:07 AM on July 13 [1 favorite]

If by "regaining your confidence" you mean "putting more focus on, and feeling better about, your current job" -- probably not the best idea. In a bad economy -- and not much less so in a good economy, for that matter -- a distinctly negative review of an employee with a limited history tends to mean that you have little future in that job. Top of the list for any layoffs, possibility for a merit-based termination even in the absence of a layoff mandate, and prospects for bonus, raises and promotions low.
posted by MattD at 7:09 AM on July 13

That you got a poor performance review also suggests that the manager does not know the purpose of performance reviews. One of the things these are for is actually to boost confidence and to inspire employees.

As a manager responsible for performance reviews, you can either use them to "boost confidence and to inspire employees," or you can use them to start laying the groundwork to fire/RIF them in the future.

Hypothetically, if I had an employee I wanted to get rid of, but wanted to keep my company as clean as possible from a litigation perspective, I'd have three-to-six months of explicit documentation that singled out that employee from his peers. This is additionally critical if you're the oldest one in your group, are a woman, or are of a non-white ethnicity.

If the manager is trying to get rid of you, he probably knows the purpose of this performance review.
posted by GamblingBlues at 7:26 AM on July 13 [3 favorites]

Don't mean to be a downer, but this is exactly what managers do when they have someone else they want to bring on board, but can't justify opening a position. It's called "building a case" -- that is, establishing paperwork they can present to HR to justify opening the position, at which time their buddy/family member/whatever can apply and get the shoe-in. I would begin looking for a new job, just so you have options.

I could be way off-base here, but I've seen it more times than I care for, and the sudden change from "glowing" to "shitty" is a huge red flag to me.
posted by cj_ at 7:58 AM on July 13 [1 favorite]

Something that the "they're getting ready to fire you" people aren't acknowledging is that some managers will give you a shitty performance review purely to cover their asses, regardless of whether they intend to get rid of you or not and/or your job performance. Their worst fear is that you'll run afoul of someone above them in the hierarchy and they'll be stuck trying to come up with a reason to get rid of someone that they just gave a glowing performance appraisal to. (As you might have guessed, this is exactly what happened to me at one job; warning signs were that, after I had requested the appraisal myself (in case I wanted to move elsewhere in the organization), my boss put it off numerous times, and probably wouldn't have gone through with it if I hadn't insisted. It was the last performance appraisal that I had during my four years there, as well. It was and is a pretty dysfunctional organization.)

It's a little weird that they gave you a glowing six-month, but who knows what could have happened with your manager in the interim. It may or may not be much comfort, but realize that there could be things going on here (perhaps related to the "management issues" that you hinted at) that are beyond your awareness and/or control. Work on the specific things that they mentioned and keep your eye out for better opportunities, both within the organization and without.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:48 AM on July 13

Call me naive, but the purpose of a performance review isn't to boost your morale, build a case, or cover a manager's ass - at least it shouldn't. It should review your performance with the intent to help you improve, and by doing so help the company improve.

While I am one of those who disagree about the content of the review, it should probably be viewed in the spirit in which it was intended. If jennyhead feels/knows that the company uses them to "build a case", then polish the resume. Else, take it as a sign of areas in which to improve.
posted by gagoumot at 10:32 AM on July 13 [1 favorite]

Point taken, GamblingBlues-- a good perspective.
posted by nax at 4:43 AM on July 14

I've had plenty of performance reviews in 25+ years of being an employee and I've also written many in 20+ years of management.

A performance review is one person's opinion about the requirements of your position and your performance against those requirements. Even if your boss solicits feedback, it is typically still mostly their opinion since they typically choose who to get feedback from, what feedback to include in your review, and what conclusions should be drawn from the feedback.

I really like the GAPS Grid. Your boss's opinion goes in the perceptions and standards column. You may want to seek other's perceptions (how well are you doing your current job) and standards (what is important about your current job). You should also form your own opinions regarding your abilities and goals and values.

I have had good reviews and bad reviews. It's just an opinion. Granted, your boss has a fair bit of power in terms of your job at that company, but their opinion is still just their opinion.
posted by elmay at 5:53 PM on July 14

> Something that the "they're getting ready to fire you" people aren't acknowledging

I'm not not-acknowledging this possibility, just offering an anecdate to consider since I have seen this happen (from behind the scenes) on multiple occasions, in different companies. I suspect this type of thing is more prevalent in certain fields. In my experience it is very common in the tech field. OP did not mention what type of job they have.

I have no idea if this is the case for the asker, but in these times I would at least consider the possibility so as not to be caught unaware. Keep in mind that even if this isn't a case of nepotism, there could be a RIF coming down the line -- who do you think gets the axe in those cases?
posted by cj_ at 6:12 PM on July 14