Gift suggestions for house of acquaintances?

July 10, 2009 7:44 AM

Invited to spend holiday in France in a gigantic villa with a couple who are only acquaintances and their friends. There will be 15 adults and as many children (age baby to 12). Lodging is gift to all invitees. I can't come empty-handed! What on earth to bring? I thought local chocolate and coffee (Vosges chocolate and intelligentsia coffee from chicago) but friends cringe, as it is FRANCE. anyway, coffee and chocolate is not enough probably. Also thought of the kids but other than age range, i know nothing about them. Please help! I don't think any others are american, but not 100% sure. thank you thank you thank you
posted by dublin to travel & transportation (57 comments total)

Bring a nice bottle of California Cabernet or Oregon Pinot. At dinner you can impress your eurocentric guests with our viticultural clout. If you need suggestions of wines that might fit the bill, please provide your price range and I can doll out a list of excellent choices.
posted by stratastar at 7:45 AM on July 10 [1 favorite]

At dinner you can impress your eurocentric guests with our viticultural clout.

Are these people French? If so, showing up in France with a bottle of American wine would not be a good first impression.

Doubly true for California cab fruit bombs. Ick.

I'd consider buying some board games and having them shipped directly there. You can search here for some recommendations, but something like Ticket to Ride or Carcassonne (local flavor!) would give the kids (and adults) something to do.
posted by mkultra at 7:53 AM on July 10

I disagree. I think it's a nice cultural connection, showing how both cultures value wine. There are plenty of American wines like Dominus that are even owned/part owned by French proprietors!
posted by stratastar at 8:05 AM on July 10

If so, showing up in France with a bottle of American wine would not be a good first impression.

This. OMG don't do this. This gift-giving etiquette page says it's rude. This also says don't bring wine.

Me, I'd give a coffee table book about Chicago architecture, maybe Frank Lloyd Wright? Or something from the Art Institute? Something cultural or historic, but unique to America.
posted by desjardins at 8:14 AM on July 10 [1 favorite]

Perhaps you could take some token thing and buy groceries or something you see would be useful while you are there.
posted by orange swan at 8:17 AM on July 10

I brought some unpopped popcorn (native to the new world) to some people I was visiting in France; I don't think they'd ever had, or heard of, popcorn prepared fresh on the stove top. I also found an interesting assortment of popcorn toppings at a local gourmet food store.

We also have a pretty good local pottery scene, and I was able to find and bring some little tiny vases that seemed to go over well.
posted by amtho at 8:19 AM on July 10 [1 favorite]

Bring an (uninflated for the trip) soccer ball, a couple of packs of cards, flowers acquired locally for your hosts, an offer to cook dinner for everyone or take people out for dinner if that is more appropriate, an offer to babysit so the parents can go out and enjoy a day without the kids.
posted by sciencegeek at 8:20 AM on July 10 [1 favorite]

Here are some books I'd recommend:

Masterpieces of Chicago Architecture
Spectacle in the White City: The Chicago 1893 World's Fair
Frank Lloyd Wright: The Houses

I assume they speak some English because 1) Most French do and 2) They're inviting Americans, but books with a lot of pictures are work well in case their English reading comprehension is low.
posted by desjardins at 8:20 AM on July 10

I don't agree that an American wine is the way to go, and I think the nicest thing you could do is ask your hosts if there's anything at all you can bring. There may be products or treats that are easier to find in the US than in France that they'd be happy to get.

If they don't say oh yes, we'd really love some [oxi-clean, orange marmalade, perfect fit t-shirts from the Gap, maple sugar candy] I would suggest something like a serving dish or a piece of hand-thrown pottery.
posted by kate blank at 8:20 AM on July 10

books with a lot of pictures are work well
posted by desjardins at 8:21 AM on July 10

Could you bring the supplies needed for some kind of a craft project that would give the attendees a memento of the holiday? The best would be something that could be set up at a table and left out for people to work on as they fancy.

Other than that, bring a board game or a giant crossword or puzzle that everyone can pitch in on. You can find giant wall-sized crosswords that are fun in that anyone can dabble in it for a few minutes and contribute.

For a host/hostess gift, bring a local specialty food product from your area.
posted by handful of rain at 8:23 AM on July 10

Well, I am clearly in the minority here, but... there are some extremely good American wines (and coffee and chocolate, for that matter), and as stratastar says, it could be a nice cultural connection and point of conversation. Not all French people are wine snobs and I'm sure if you splurged a little you could impress folks with a California wine.
posted by ORthey at 8:27 AM on July 10

Oh, and as a reference, I used to travel in France on business and I brought a fancy Napa wine once and impressed the pants off everyone. I also brought some Ghirardelli chocolate from SF, which was also devoured.
posted by ORthey at 8:29 AM on July 10

Maple syrup or maple cream.

Popcorn is a great idea.
posted by jgirl at 8:29 AM on July 10

Forget the wine, California wine is good but not as good as French wine. Good American whiskey, otoh, could be appreciated. Maker's Mark is a very good brand.
posted by JJ86 at 8:32 AM on July 10

What a lovely invitation! Are you're familiar with the French tradition of summer vacations? I'm jealous you get to share it. I imagine you're mostly being invited for your company. So if you have anything you particularly like to do that the others will enjoy, bring that.

I wouldn't bring an American wine. If you want to bring an American drink, I'd get a really good single batch bourbon. In my experience Europeans enjoy bourbon and it's nearly unavailable there.
posted by Nelson at 8:41 AM on July 10 [2 favorites]

Good bourbon.
posted by dilettante at 8:41 AM on July 10

I brought an architecture book from the architecture bookstore on Michigan Ave. and it went over very well.
posted by :-) at 8:44 AM on July 10

I don't know why your friends are cringing - first the French aren't that alien and second your initial hunch are excellent choices as both Intelligentsia and Vosges chocolates are excellent and local items. As a fellow chicago lander these would certainly be on my short list.

As for wine - don't worry about it - the french aren't really expecting the average Americans to be wine experts (and if you are kudos) and you shouldn't really expect them to be wine snobs either. Just bring something you like or was recommend to you - most American wine is not available there- so don't let the wine store fella talk you into really expensive wine, there are a lot of great wine available for 20-50 or just bring Makers Mark or something along those lines.

If there are lots of kids I would strongly suggest bringing American Candy, as this is certain to be a big hit. Go for variety instead of quantity, and include both your favorites and odd candies like the fizzers ones or the movie theater box stuff like bottle caps and Ferro-pan stuff. Of course you'll have to clear it with the other parents - but it will be fun.
posted by zenon at 8:44 AM on July 10

Vosges chocolate is something you can't get in France. Yes, you can get amazing chocolate in France, but you can't get crazy stunt chocolate with bacon or wasabi or whatever in it in France. So bring that.

Wacky US candies, as zenon suggested, is also a great idea for kids (presuming their parents don't object to the sugar).

US-style/Canadian-style cheddar cheese is also something you can't get in France--a really good 4-year-aged US or Canadian cheddar would be delicious and a conversation piece.

And also the maple products, as already recommended. And bourbon, which costs the earth in Europe.
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:48 AM on July 10

Do

Not

Bring

California

Wine

To

France


holy cow. I can't even believe someone would suggest something like that. It would be like bringing twinkies to the French Laundry.

Same goes for cheeses. If there will be kids, try some bags of American candybars for them and something like Sees or Ghiradelli or another local candy company's chocolate for the grownups.

Don't hesitate to ask...I konw if someone was coming to here from France or England, I'd ask for kit kat bars (they taste different and soooo much betterer) and codine (which is over the counter there) and from England, there are these tummy chewies that work so much better than Pepto (Rennies, I miss them!) So it could be strange things that they'd like...oh, and Whiskey is good too. Maker's Mark is good, Gentelman Jack is good, something American.
posted by legotech at 8:51 AM on July 10 [1 favorite]

I like the wine idea and think that it would be an interesting conversation point. There are plenty of extremely good American wines. Some French wine sucks, too. Coffee tables books are boring. I like the board game idea too. maybe some DVDs of recent American releases?
posted by otherwordlyglow at 8:51 AM on July 10

Forget the wine, California wine is good but not as good as French wine. Good American whiskey, otoh, could be appreciated. Maker's Mark is a very good brand.

As a person whose wine cellar is 85% European (75% of that French, primarily Bordeaux and CDP), this is a grossly ludicrous statement.
posted by stratastar at 8:51 AM on July 10 [1 favorite]

It would be like bringing twinkies to the French Laundry.

Wrong again. At several chateau tastings in Bordeaux I've attended, proprietors poured top Cali Chards and Cabs alongside Bordeaux first growths. I don't know where you people get this perverse mentality from
posted by stratastar at 8:53 AM on July 10 [1 favorite]

The food items that my friends in France requested were maple syrup (apparently it's obscenely expensive there - take a recipe for pancakes and be a breakfast sensation!) and sharp cheddar cheese. I felt weird taking cheese to France but sharp cheddar is either very uncommon or completely unavailable.

As a whisky drinker, I won't get in the wine debate. If there are little kids there, consider finding a Milles Bornes set.
posted by workerant at 8:59 AM on July 10

If you go the alcohol route, go for something intrinsically American...quality bourbon or tequila. (Tequila and some local Triple Sec and you're on your way to margaritas!)

In France the tradition is that the host picks the wine but guests can bring liqueurs. Also, if you're travelling all that way it's going to be more interesting to take something that isn't easily available over there.

Some interesting bourbon talk here.
posted by i_cola at 9:02 AM on July 10

Same goes for cheeses.

No, same doesn't go for cheeses.

Cheeses have styles. Some styles are local, like US/Canadian style cheddar, which a) is impossible to get in France, and b) is very different from English Cheddar (which is hard to get in France anyway).

People who enjoy cheese like to sample different styles. A US or Canadian cheddar would be a very different and unaccustomed style to a French cheese-lover.

Nor does that go for wine, which, like cheese, has styles. As stratastar says, people in France appreciate California wine for the ways in which it is different from French wines--one of the central qualities that makes wines distinctive is terroir, and California's terroir is different from France's.

Nobody is suggesting that he bring some crappy Brie from the local supermarket, or some screw-top "Chablis". Bringing distinctively American (or North American), high-quality eatables and drinkables is a very thoughtful gesture.
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:05 AM on July 10 [4 favorites]

That said, i_cola's point is well-taken--it's rude in French etiquette to bring wine to a dinner party or house party.

So don't bring wine, not because California wine is bad and French wine is magic, but because that's considered rude by French people (but if your hosts aren't actually French themselves, bring wine with impunity).
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:07 AM on July 10

Most of the best board games these days are made in Europe. DVDs have region encoding, so that's not so great either.

Of the suggestions I see, I'd probably go with bourbon or whiskey for the adults, candy for the kids, and cheddar for everyone.
posted by fings at 9:08 AM on July 10

I'd recommend a picture frame and a unique vase simply because they have worked so well for me in the past.

I don't know if this is still the case, but 5 years ago when I was visiting family in Paris they were DELIGHTED to receive a picture frame (which I'd brought for a wedding photo) because they were--unknown to me--ludicrously expensive throughout Paris. The vase (which I'd wrapped well and taken carry-on) was also a huge hit.
posted by ohyouknow at 9:12 AM on July 10 [1 favorite]

Meat. BRING MEAT. I have no idea how to accomplish this -- my meat-crazy brother-in-law and his meat-crazy friends in Switzerland haven't figured out a way to take meat home with them, but whenever they come here, they all buy and eat prodigious amounts of red meat and rave about the quality of said meat. I had a brisket from the Salt Lick that I threw on the grill one evening; they were shocked and alarmed at how good it was. They favor filets and rib eyes and porterhouses of course. Maybe talk to a butcher about how to transport the meat? Maybe you vacuum freeze it? Can you put the meat in styrofoam with dry ice and then put in your luggage? Let me reiterate: I have no idea how to accomplish this, but if you give it a try and you're successful, let me know. I'll have an ecstatic brother-in-law in Zurich who'll want to know.

It would be like bringing twinkies to the French Laundry.

...I don't know where you people get this perverse mentality from

You'd think they'd have learned by now, right?
posted by incessant at 9:15 AM on July 10 [1 favorite]

stratastar: Wrong again. At several chateau tastings in Bordeaux I've attended, proprietors poured top Cali Chards and Cabs alongside Bordeaux first growths.

As what, a counterexample of how not to do it correctly? If there's a poster child for how to ruin a perfectly good varietal, it's the incessant over-oaking of California Chardonnays. If you're suggesting that he bring a "French-style" California Chardonnay, then I'd ask- what's the point? Just buy a cheaper bottle there that's just as good.

Also, the OP is not going to a wine tasting at a chateau. He's going to a villa with some (presumably) "average" French people who, believe me, don't care one whit about the tippy top-end of the wine spectrum from either country; they'll be too busy being insulted at your hubris. It would be different if there were a style of American wine you can't find in France, but I don't think bringing Mad Dog would be wise.

In that vein, American liquor is an intriguing idea (there are some fantastic Kentucky bourbons), as is a really good cheddar.
posted by mkultra at 9:17 AM on July 10

I brought my foodie French host family some Minnesota wild rice, which they had never cooked with before. I think they enjoyed experimenting with a new ingredient, or at least they were extremely polite about it and acted like they enjoyed it. So I second the idea of bringing an interesting local food.

I also second the idea of bringing an assortment of American candy for the kids.
posted by TheClonusHorror at 9:33 AM on July 10 [3 favorites]

3rding a couple of nice fancy bottles of maple syrup (light and dark) that everyone can enjoy over pancakes or crepes at breakfast.
posted by bonobothegreat at 9:46 AM on July 10 [1 favorite]

Something they could keep. A small American hand crafted item by a young, emerging artist. Might be a small hand-blown dish, or a wooden cheese board, etc. When I visit California, I am blown away by the stuff I see in art/craft galleries. I still remember seeing my first Chihuly piece, many years ago, when I likely could have afforded it.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:01 AM on July 10

Intelligentsia coffee is extremely high quality and the people who run that company pay as much attention to their roasting as many French vintners do to their wine making. I think that's a great choice that highlights an American company dedicated to quality.
posted by slow graffiti at 10:33 AM on July 10

It's the thought that counts. They'll be thrilled with whatever you bring, and if it's something everyone can enjoy, all the better. They are aware that you are coming a great distance, and that you'll be only able to carry so much.

The above ideas about coffee and chocolate are great, as are the ideas about wild rice and popcorn. There's so much amazing native food to the Americas that might be tough to get in France - maple sugar candy and dried cranberries from New England? Pecans from the South? Some sort of awesome cornbread you can make for everyone (with jalapeños?!), agave anything, even an artisanal (turkey! buffalo!) jerky would be fun. Could you barbecue for everyone?

There may also be a few things they'd want for their kids, like English-language children's books, which are super-pricey/hard-to-find in France. Ask!
posted by mdonley at 11:33 AM on July 10

Regarding wine: I'm an American living in France. Been here for ten years now (well, eleven, nearly twelve, it's complicated. Anyhow.) Guess what the best-received gift has been?

Oregon Pinot Noir wines.

Anyone who tells you it's rude to bring wine to the French, does not know France. It is in fact the de facto gift to bring when visiting, especially for dinner parties. I have NEVER attended a dinner party where guests did not bring wine. If you choose thoughtfully, you cannot go wrong. (The key, of course, is to choose thoughtfully.) They may not drink your bottle that same day, but will keep it for later. I've done and seen this countless times. (That said. California wines are easy as pie to find here. A good wine from any other state would be better. I'm Oregonian, so obviously have a soft spot for our world-class pinot noirs.)

Maple syrup is also received well, but it's considered pretty Canadian by the French and is less expensive and much easier to find here now. People I've visited have also greatly enjoyed smoked salmon and beef jerky -- I brought delicious locally-smoked salmon and jerky, not supermarket stuff, of course. If you'd like to try something non-consumable, a nice book of professional photography from your home state is great too.
posted by fraula at 11:37 AM on July 10 [1 favorite]

I just remembered that my family in France had never heard of cranberries. I even looked them up in the dictionary to verify, showed them pictures...nothing.

Reading through all the suggestions above, depending on your budget, makes me think that you could put together a pretty kick-ass gift basket with everything suggested here. And how much fun would that be to receive???
posted by ohyouknow at 11:45 AM on July 10

Whether French coffee, wine and chocolate is better than American (duh, yes) is immaterial: why bring something they are used to? Get something unusual!
Popcorn (I recently tried some gourmet white corn after years of scoffing at the notion of fancy corn and damn, it's great) or bourbon are much better ideas. How about peanut butter, either regular or the gourmet flavored versions? The cheddar idea was good too - get a swanky cave aged one. Or Oreos. Or Doritos.
Or Mexican mixes - maybe some of those awful Taco-night boxes and you can make tacos for everyone one night. That should be a fun change of pace that's good for a group and kids always love tacos.

Here's an interesting chowhound discussion of what foods expats miss most. I used to miss Cheetos more than anything.
posted by CunningLinguist at 11:46 AM on July 10

Also, the OP is not going to a wine tasting at a chateau. He's going to a villa with some (presumably) "average" French people who, believe me, don't care one whit about the tippy top-end of the wine spectrum from either country; they'll be too busy being insulted at your hubris.

Hubris?! Seriously, French people are normal people. They're not the gods of ancient Greece.

I've known many French people who were very interested in trying wines from other parts of the world. I've known some who don't care. Any of them would be pleased to receive a nice and thoughtful gift from someone who is trying to share a part of their culture.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 12:01 PM on July 10

I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to transport meats and cheeses internationally (depending on country anyway), so I'd be careful on that front.

I vote that your initial idea of chocolate and coffee was a great one, and I like the idea of bourbon or tequila, since they are "local". If you choose to bring wine, you are going to need several bottles for 15 adults to have at least one glass each, and you risk having to pay duty then.
posted by Joh at 12:07 PM on July 10

The hosts are actually british. Not that it matters at all because it is the thought that counts but they travel to the states and worldwide very very often (ah...the life!). Interesting discussion on wine...my own opinion is that I'm a little hesitant, 1) bc I would like to bring enough for sharing for all and 2) I am not too knowledgable about wine (altho I drink it in vast quantities!). Do your suggestions change knowing they're english? And they are hiring a chef for the time we are there (yes, I know, we are uncommonly lucky in this opportunity). What do you mean by popcorn? Those huge tins of cheese/caramel/butter? Bourbon sounds delish too, as I am a Makers fan, but do people like bourbon in general? What do you drink with it? I usu drink Makers and ginger ale but I rarely meet other bourbon fans . Puzzles might be a good call for kids and adults perhaps alike. Meat and cheese sounds difficult in transport. Pottery or the like is also a good idea. Man, this is hard! Continue to weigh in, the feedback is really really helpful! (and god, do I love this site!)
posted by dublin at 12:33 PM on July 10

No, I do not mean the huge tins - pre-popped popcorn is readily available, as far as I can see, from various gourmet shops & catalogues. What I mean is _unpopped_ popcorn (bonus: it's small and packs well). Choose a good variety of this -- I found some blue popcorn -- and maybe a fancy seasoning or two to go with it.

This assumes you know how to make popcorn & can describe it. If not, get some yourself & make some at home! It's easy & delicious.

And the kids will love it too.
posted by amtho at 12:53 PM on July 10

Do your suggestions change knowing they're english?

Not as far as the wine goes, IMO- what's not changing is that you're going to the wine capital of the world. There are so many better (and completely uncontroversial) suggestions offered here.

And they are hiring a chef

Cool! Any chance they can put you in touch with him/her? If you can coordinate and bring some special American ingredients that he/she knows how to incorporate into some dishes while you're there, that would make it really special.
posted by mkultra at 12:54 PM on July 10

Popcorn kernels

I second the maple syrup - v american.
posted by darsh at 2:01 PM on July 10

A regulation-sized American football. It's one of the most requested items by European visitors at my job. A wiffle-ball set would also be fun.

Some fresh copies of the New Yorker, Harper's, and the Walrus (The Weekly Standard if they can take a joke).

If they own the villa, and are not just renting, then I think books would be a good choice. A well-stocked library is a great feature of a vacation home. I recommend adventure and thriller novels (The Count of Monte Cristo seems appropriate).

I'd try to stay away from food; with nearly 30 people it'll be hard to bring enough of something that everyone can get a good portion of.
posted by clorox at 2:15 PM on July 10

On second thought, a fine bottle of wine or liquor, or an objet d'art would probably be a good "thank you" gift, in addition to the more communal things I listed above.
posted by clorox at 2:22 PM on July 10

There are strict regulations regarding dairy and meat imports to the EU. While you might be able to sneak some cheddar in, it's probably not worth the risk, and bringing in enough for a bunch of people will be heavy.

Given their British, they probably already drink quite a bit of californian wine; it's very popular in the UK, and is even making inroads in france as it's cheap, so while it wouldn't be rejected, it's kinda the stuff you get in the supermarket.

Avoid normal american chocolate. Brits are invariably chocolate snobs (I'm english, and no brit I've ever met wasn't), and american chocolate is very different to british chocolate (and seen as inferior, usually) - french, belgian or swiss chocolate is seen as the quality stuff. A range of other types of candy could work, if the parents are ok with it.

Sports stuff sounds good, such as a proper american football; they're pretty hard to get hold of in the UK and france and no doubt would be a hit with the kids, especially if you're prepared to teach them to play. Maybe a baseball glove and ball, for similar reasons.

Maple syrup should be good, as it's damned expensive in europe, and goes lovely with crepes. Nice coffee also; brits have taken to coffee in a huge way, it's almost as popular as a nice cuppa tea now.

Bourbon might be good, depending upon the age of the hosts; it's more a later middle age onwards thing. But glass bottles internationally is a pain.

Something cultural, i.e. arts n crafts would be cool for the hosts. A picture frame, or something unique and personal like a vase or statuette that they can keep, as long as it's reasonably small and transportable!
posted by ArkhanJG at 3:23 PM on July 10

GaArgg. Their/they're.
posted by ArkhanJG at 3:23 PM on July 10

What do you drink with it? I usu drink Makers and ginger ale but I rarely meet other bourbon fans

Generally people drink (good) bourbon straight or on the rocks.
posted by dilettante at 4:21 PM on July 10

You can also shake bourbon with (usually sweet red) vermouth and bitters to make a Manhattan. Tasty, and Americanly-named....
posted by LadyOscar at 4:42 PM on July 10

holy cow. I can't even believe someone would suggest something like that. It would be like bringing twinkies to the French Laundry.

This comment, and similar comments, reflects an amusingly provincial view of France. The French are open to new things, and certainly would not turn their nose up at the opportunity to drink an American wine.
posted by jayder at 8:29 PM on July 10

Since you're stuck on adult gifts, I'd say focus on the kids--bring some cool toys for all those kids to keep them busy, and win their parents' hearts. Board games, Magic 8 ball, Rubiks cube, Pixar DVDs, Tinkertoys, etc.....

Ooh ooh, just thought of a great adult gift. How about a hand-woven Mayan hammock, actually not that expensive.
posted by rexruff at 11:13 PM on July 10

A whole tote full of mini-super soakers, nerf-y things, state of the art water-pistols -- you can't go wrong with American summery toys for the kids. For the hosts, anything from LL Bean -- monogrammed, even better.
posted by thinkpiece at 5:45 AM on July 11

Bring kites for the kids - the kind that can be crumpled into a ball. A badminton or volley ball set might be fun if you have the yard space for it.

Also, as others have mentioned American candy and chocolate bars are a good idea for kids from the UK as well - I remember being fascinated by British candy when I lived there years ago. The goofier the candy the better - the kind of weird stuff you see in convenience stores or go to an Asian supermarket and get some neat stuff. It doesn't have to be US-related, just cool.

I like the idea of a few bottles of different bourbon, tequila or rum.

And, since I've been watching the Tour de France lately, you could arrange bicycle rental for people.
posted by sciencegeek at 6:47 AM on July 11

This might be a bit touristy but there's a tour site that sells a book about "Chicago's Ghosts, Gangsters & Ghouls". I think this would be a huge hit with the kids and probably something the adults haven't seen before.

tps://www.prairieghosts.com/weird_chicago.html

I'd also go for the candy, especially the 70's stuff that one of our groceries carry. Bottle caps and zagnuts, mmm. Plus the mini-reeece's because they're delicious!
posted by stray thoughts at 5:52 PM on July 11