Am I working in the Mirror Universe now, or what?

July 8, 2009 8:35 AM

Everybody that I work with has become an insufferable asshole over the past few weeks. What is going on here? What can I do about it?

I like to think of myself as a pretty laid-back kind of guy. I try hard to be accommodating to others and to be as helpful as possible, especially at work. I've always gotten along well with coworkers, I've never been written up for anything at work (at any of my jobs, ever) and I pride myself on being able to work with difficult people in difficult situations. Lately, though, it seems as if everybody at work has taken Asshole Pills and are now actively trying to drive me batshit insane.

It's difficult for me to give a list of concrete examples, except to say that, as strange as it seems, almost all of my coworkers and work-related acquaintances have become unbelievably rude over the past couple weeks and months, to the point where I'm noticeably more stressed and agitated than I used to be just half a year ago.

Previously pleasant coworkers now sneer at me and belittle me behind my back, and sometimes to my face. Other coworkers go out of their way to avoid being scheduled with me, and I've been reported/written up for things that I didn't even know were problems (I got called into a meeting with our Big Boss and got dressed down because apparently I smell bad. WTF? My boss told me I "need to start showering" or I'm going to loose my job. I shower twice a day, most days. At least once a day, every day. I'm completely hygienic. And I don't think I smell.)

Other times, coworkers within 5 years of my age will talk down to me as if I'm an imbecile or a child. Other times I'll be helpfully "reminded" about very basic aspects of my job of which I am obviously well aware (imagine "reminding" a plumber that "water goes in the pipes, mmmmkay? make sure the pipes are fastened tight, mmmmkay?")

I've been accused (by both bosses and coworkers) of being lazy, incompetent and generally useless. Three things which I've never been accused of in my entire working life. Nothing that I do is ever good enough for anyone at work, and generally the only feelings I seem to inspire in my bosses and coworkers seem to be anger and loathing rather than gratitude. Again, this is not normal for me.

As I sit here writing this, it occours to me that I sound like I'm trapped in some sort of Kafkaesque nightmare where everybody is in on some kind of conspiracy to treat me like a mentally challenged individual with a double-digit IQ.

Statistically speaking, I realize that this interpretation is rather improbable. It seems logical that if everyone around me has changed so much in the past few weeks/months, then it is more likely that I have changed somehow. I don't *feel* any different than I did a few months ago, except now with this nagging feeling that people at work are treating me like shit for no apparent reason.

Any ideas on what, exactly is going on here? What can I do, if anything, about it?

You can email me if you want at [e-mail]

posted by anonymous to human relations (39 comments total)

Assuming you haven't suddenly gone crazy and your behavior hasn't changed, it sounds like (at least for management) they're building a case to fire you. The other possibility is that someone there has an axe to grind and they're actively trying to destroy your credibility.
posted by backseatpilot at 8:40 AM on July 8 [1 favorite]

Are your friends similarly complaining about you? How about your family? If they're having similar inexplicable problems with you, then the problem is you. Either you're noticing slights that aren't really there, or you're provoking people in some way you don't notice.

Do you have friends who'll tell you the truth if you've suddenly become an ass without meaning to? It's not impossible you're behaving differently and not noticing it.

If it's not you, then it is just possible that someone in the organization is out to get you, and has spread the word. Often in an organization, the writing is on the wall before you're fired. People don't want to be your friend any more, and your boss starts establishing a paper trail -- a series of warnings about being fired, so that when you're eventually fired, you can't say you weren't warned.

Do you have any friends in the office who'll be honest with you?
posted by musofire at 8:41 AM on July 8 [2 favorites]

It's difficult for me to give a list of concrete examples

This might be part of the problem. Keep a diary in which you try to record what happens in your workplace as objectively as you can, so that you can compare what is going on over time. (Keeping a list of incidents is generally a good idea when you are having trouble with a co-worker or supervisor, so that you have something specific to refer to when discussing it in the future with a third party.)

You might also consider speaking to a counselor to get some perspective on the situation. I don't want to blame you for your situation, but as you yourself suggest, if everyone, without exception, seems to have changed in their behavior toward you, a possible explanation is that you have changed in some way you don't realize or haven't faced yet.
posted by aught at 8:44 AM on July 8

Well, there could be some sort of conspiracy among the higher-ups (and one that has trickled down to your co-workers) to make your life miserable enough that you'll leave. Exactly why that would be the case, I don't know.

But, when I hear these types of stories I'm always reminded of something a very good friend once told me after I was once bitching about a bad day and life in general. To quote:

"If you're walking down the street and you see a guy you know who's an asshole, and then you walk into a coffee shop, and both the person who takes your order and the person who serves you are assholes, and then you get on the bus with your coffee and the bus driver is an asshole, well... chances are you're the asshole."

I certainly don't mean to call you an asshole, but I would suggest taking a look at your own behavior and seeing if you notice any response patterns among your coworkers (ie. they become shitheads, when I say or do such and such, or act like this..._ Also, I would see if there's someone, anyone remotely trustworthy at work who can give you an honest assessment of your personality among your coworkers. That might help tremendously.
posted by Rewind at 8:46 AM on July 8 [10 favorites]

You say this has become a problem in the last few weeks/months. How long have you been at this specific job for?

If you've been there for years and this is totally sudden, I agree that you should try and talk to a colleague that you at least used to trust. If it's possible, perhaps someone in HR can enlighten you (maybe they heard something and can share with you anonymously and diplomatically).

If you've been there for less than a year, the only thing I can think of is that you're just not a good fit with the company and they are tired of being nice to you.

The smelling bad thing is weird. Ask a friend outside of work to honestly tell you if you stink. Like dead serious give it to you straight because your job depends on it honest.

Otherwise, I wouldn't rule out psychological issues, it all sounds a bit paranoid ("sneer at me and belittle me behind my back", if it's behind your back how do you know?)
posted by like_neon at 8:49 AM on July 8

Incidentally, it's possible to shower and still have body odor. I'd change your deodorant.

It is borderline possible that there has been some sort of chemical change in you that makes you smell wrong to people. That could have come along with a change in your behavior that you're not aware of. IANYD, so ask your doctor if that's possible, and if so, if there's a treatment.

I have noticed, for example, that manic-depressives taking lithium have a distinct, and not pleasant, smell to me.
posted by musofire at 8:50 AM on July 8 [3 favorites]

I suggest requesting a meeting with your boss and asking point blank if s/he is satisfied with your performance. Are there any issues? Any words to the wise that they'd offer? You can say you've been doing your best but would like some constructive feedback on your work.

Other coworkers go out of their way to avoid being scheduled with me, and I've been reported/written up for things that I didn't even know were problems (I got called into a meeting with our Big Boss and got dressed down because apparently I smell bad. WTF? My boss told me I "need to start showering" or I'm going to loose my job. I shower twice a day, most days. At least once a day, every day. I'm completely hygienic. And I don't think I smell.)

This is a big deal - be sure you are addressing it. Stated rather frankly, it doesn't matter what you think about this. People who do have strong body odor are quite often very unaware of it; they live with it all the time and no longer respond to it. It's others who notice and find it distracting. And it's your boss' (unpleasant) job to let you know about this. Just assume they're right, whether you think so or not. Begin doing everything you can to bring the BO under control. Use deodorant. Reapply it during the day. Keep up the frequent showering. Trim body hair if it's so long that it's trapping odor. If you have a trusted friend, ask them to do a 'smell check' on you mid-day.

I understand that this stuff seems to be coming out of nowhere. But are you sure that these things were never a problem before - or just that no boss before ever had the courage or interest to tell you? How long have you been at the job? How many other jobs have you held? Would you be welcome back at those jobs? Were the standards at the other jobs less stringent than in your current workplace? You're right that it's improbable that everyone has changed overnight.

I think you should at least entertain the possibility that some of this criticism is correct, and ask for concrete areas in which to improve, ask for suggested ways to show you've improved, and set some benchmarks so that you and your boss can agree you've successfully met the goals. That's the only way you can build a case for yourself as a good employee: demonstrated concrete progress in the problem areas.

But if there is a collusion against you somehow, you won't be able to fight that. It could be that your co-workers were pleasant when you started, but just worn out on you after their work experience with you over time. Maybe 'laid back' is not the work culture where you are. Maybe they think you're slacking, too casual, or not taking work seriously enough. I can't be sure, but something is going wrong here, and it's not just a simple mood shift. It sounds as though your working life is in trouble, and I think your first step in fixing it is to listen and try to meet the demands, no matter how painful it might be to hear criticism.
posted by Miko at 8:51 AM on July 8 [2 favorites]

I think backseatpilot and musofire gave the best advice and I agree with their assessment. I might also suggest using some vacation time? If you have time to use- do it! A week away from the office might be enough to kind of reset any tensions that have been builing.
posted by Eicats at 8:53 AM on July 8

... assuming it's not reality distortion at your end (ie: paranoia), it reminds me of an anecdote I read a long time ago from a screenwriter (name long forgotten).

He scored a nice gig on a fairly promising project with a seemingly cool production company, got to work, did good work (not only in his own estimation) but as thing's progressed, things started to get weird in his meetings with the production company. I can't remember the details, just that it was an endlessly frustrating process, weird script note after weird script note leading to doomed rewrite after doomed rewrite ...

Until the day the screenwriter discovered that one of the principals in the production company was the long ago ex of one of the screenwriter's more recent girl friends ... and that the whole thing that was playing out was a nasty and vindictive grudge.
posted by philip-random at 9:06 AM on July 8

Most likely explanation is something happened that you were blamed for and you don't know anything about it. For instances, suppose a rumor got started that you pee in the coffee. No one is going to confront you, they'll just get agitated and hostile until leave. You are going to have to ask and be diplomatic to figure out what is wrong.

There is another possibility: You are actually going crazy. It is unlikely that everyone is conspiring against you so you have to face the possibility that it is all in your head. That doesn't mean you should just ignore it. Get some counseling.

On smell: I used to study Tae Kwon Do and one of the guys there just reeked in an unimaginable way, far beyond the normal sweaty martial artist smell. It turns out he was drinking a lot of vinegar as part of his training and the vinegar altered his smell. Some foods can permeate your body and affect your odor. Another possibility is your breath. I've know people with paint-peeling breath who were unaware of the problem. Drinking milk is a particular problem. Do you take milk in your coffee?
posted by chairface at 9:10 AM on July 8 [5 favorites]

1. See a doctor to see if you have suddenly become odorous for medical reasons (aside from a variety of general body issues that can cause odor, untreated cavities can also cause pervasive terrible breath, for example).

2. Have you been more tired? Has there been some event in your life that might have changed something in our behavior or conversation? i.e. "George won't shut up about his bloody new car!" Sometime we don't perceive that an item of interest to us is not interesting or worse, seen as bragging to others.

3. Before/around the time that everyone started being rude to you, was there some negative event in the office or to do with work? Items being stolen, an account being lost, someone threw poop all over one of the bathrooms? Because I can see that kind of global attitude change happening if the grapevine fingered you as the actor or cause of a "bad thing" - i.e. "I used to think George was an okay guy, but then I heard that he smeared his poop all over the 5th floor bathroom, wtf is wrong with that jerk?"

All said, the comment from your boss about body odor resonates the most strongly with me. It's been explicitly mentioned and could absolutely account for a global change of attitude towards you ('omg don't schedule me with George, I can't take the smell... oh god, here comes George, why can't the man wash himself ewwww." and it's entirely possible that you could have a medical condition causing odor that you are unaware of and unable to perceive. See a doctor and a dentist. Try a different deodorant (and did you start using a different deodorant around the time people startung being jerks? Did it get hotter? Did the air conditioning in the building stop working?)
posted by Billegible at 9:10 AM on July 8 [1 favorite]

When your bosses accused you of being lazy, how did you react? Did they cite specific examples?

My recommendation, without knowing more, would be to ask your direct supervisor for a private meeting. In that meeting, be genuinely curious to know if you've done anything to offend him/her. And really actively LISTEN to what s/he says. Take notes. Apologize for causing annoyance, explain youself, and then (if it feels warranted) you can also explain that you've felt hostility from everyone in the office for a good stretch of time and would like to know what concrete things you can do to make things better for everyone.

I would also recommend that you pay scrupulous attention to your manners. When I've seen people in this office alienate everyone around them, it is always because they don't recognize how the little things they do (like eating chips with their mouth open) drive everyone around them bat shit crazy, but in a really passive aggressive way. Manners are incredibly important, and if you weren't raised with a lot of attention to them it can be difficult to recognize how your behavior may be excruciating to those around you. Once you've had this discussion, let your supervisor know you can handle being called on your irritating behavior in the moment--if you can.

And then start looking for another position. Best of luck.
posted by ohyouknow at 9:10 AM on July 8

Also, regarding the smell: make sure you are always wearing clean clothes to work. We had this problem with an employee before who swore he showered frequently--but it was obvious his clothes were not getting the same treatment.
posted by ohyouknow at 9:17 AM on July 8 [6 favorites]

Do you wear body spray or cologne or other fragrance that might offend those around you? You may be so used to it that you can't even smell it.
posted by Carol Anne at 9:36 AM on July 8 [1 favorite]

...are you sure that these things were never a problem before - or just that no boss before ever had the courage or interest to tell you? How long have you been at the job? How many other jobs have you held? Would you be welcome back at those jobs? Were the standards at the other jobs less stringent than in your current workplace?

These were all the questions I had.

There have been issues at my past employment where someone basically... cruised. For whatever reason, they had easy managers who didn't want to get involved with nitty gritty and liked smooth sailing. No one was called out on the carpet for issues or mistakes. The manager sort of took the bullet. Which is fine and all, whatever, but when managerial changes were made, it became glaringly obvious who was making mistakes/causing delays/not doing their job and issues that had long fallen on the lap of a hands-off manager now had to be addressed. And to be honest, yeah, there have been times where someone has fucked one of my projects up at work, didn't think it was a big deal and I did find myself talking down to them making sure they knew how to dot the i's and cross the t's. Yeah, they probably knew, but I was trying to avoid future screw ups that delayed my work.

You know, the only thing I can advise is for you to take a good hard look at yourself and ask close friends (not at work) and relatives to do the same. Has your behavior changed? Is there anything else going on in your personal life?

Get in for a physical. Have a complete lab workup done - thyroid, hormone levels, all of it. Confide in your doctor that you have had some issues at work. Tell them there have been complaints about your odor. Ask if there could be a chemical issue going on.

Beyond that, I can imagine this has been extremely embarrassing for you. Take it as a good opportunity to self-assess and if the checkpoints (self-evaluation, friends, family, doctor, lab tests) come back in your favor, start looking for another job (not on company time) before they build a case to outright fire you.

Good luck.
posted by jerseygirl at 9:37 AM on July 8

Another note about the odor: Any dietary changes or supplementary changes? There was a guy who thought eating garlic was the healthiest thing ever. And you know what? Might have been, I think he was like 100 and could have taken down a wild boar. Regardless, it absolutely radiated from his pores. He could walk by and 20 minutes later, you'd know he had been around.
posted by jerseygirl at 9:39 AM on July 8

The body odor _could_ be the root cause of people being rude to you. I get the impression that you included that as just one example, and that it may not be what you consider the main problem -- but if you've been smelling off, that could lead to people treating you differently in all kinds of subtle ways.
posted by amtho at 9:39 AM on July 8 [2 favorites]

Be congnizant of your non-verbals, which could be creating a negative feedback loop.

It sounds like you previously went through your workday w/ a happy-go-lucky attitude, then all the sudden got blind-sided w/ some possibly minor (and constructive?) criticism. Now, your attitude may have gotten a little more sour, thus the non-verbal cues you subconsciously give your co-workers & superiors may have taken a turn for the worse. And in turn, their opinions of you take a turn for the worse. And so on...
posted by glenngulia at 10:05 AM on July 8

Seconding the "keep a notebook" idea. I underwent a horrid experience which I later learned was a textbook case of "workplace bullying" or "mobbing." (This may or may not be happening to you -- I couldn't possibly assess that from here.) I started to doubt my sanity about how everyone was treating me like shit. So I bought one of those little top-spiral notebooks that fits in a shirt pocket, and started making copious notes as close as possible to "at the time" without making it a real visible issue... After a short while, it became pretty clear to me that this wasn't some paranoid fantasy I was projecting onto the world around me. It got bad enough that I ended up visiting a lawyer and trying to build a case, which is really difficult.

However, and I didn't learn this until much too late... in the state where I live, after I quit my job I could have taken my evidence of maltreatment by my co-workers and filed an unemployment claim even though I quit. If I could have presented evidence that my workplace was made so unpleasant for me that I was driven to quit, it would be regarded by the state as a de facto firing, and I would have been paid unemployment. (Of course, I didn't know this until far too late to file for this.) Your state may have similar laws.

Others are writing to your shower needs or whatever, but be aware -- you may having something else going on beside that, something insidious and possibly legally actionable.
posted by hippybear at 10:18 AM on July 8

Not given any other information, one possibility that occurred to me was the possibility that you may have suffered a stroke or some other medical event that has altered your personality. I would advise that you seek medical attention to rule out this possibility. There are any number of medical conditions that could cause a personality change. This may not be the cause in your particular case, but many of the conditions are severe enough that it would be worthwhile to rule them out.
posted by jefeweiss at 10:37 AM on July 8

With respect to my answer above, I found this old Askme
posted by jefeweiss at 10:41 AM on July 8

Are you from a different background and if so, are they being racist? Just asking. I've noticed sometimes in work environments where people get talked down to for no reason other than.. racism.
posted by citron at 11:18 AM on July 8

Argh ... office politics. Maybe you should scope out your coworkers on Facebook or Google and see whether you can find out anything about this behavior. Are they young'uns? This may just be horrible cliqueyness. Are they generally judgemental in their daily actions?

Is the company you work for about to go under, or merge, and some people are destined for the axe? Maybe all the obnoxious people are safe, but they can't help being mean to you because they are gloating at their future success. Maybe you could investigate that.

Good luck -- and document, document, document.
posted by vickyverky at 11:22 AM on July 8

Is everyone who is avoiding you and causing drama in the same "tier" of worker, IE just management, or just the creatives, etc? If so, it is plausible that stuff is going down in meetings that is negative towards you, or the management wants to "document" reasons to fire you, etc.

If it's literally everyone at your company, working various roles and not in any natural sort of organizational structure then a) you are being paranoid; b) it really is you and you need to ask a good friend to evaluate what's going on.
posted by shownomercy at 12:59 PM on July 8

Irritability is a sign of depression. Is it possible that you are uncommonly cranky, and people are responding? Sometimes I feel the way you do, then realize it's me. Good luck.
posted by theora55 at 1:38 PM on July 8

Posting for someone that didn't feel comfortable posting this themselves:
---
This is eerily similar to something I went through my last year of college. My roomates hated me, and conspired behind my back, sometimes to my face. They were avoiding me, were passive aggressive, etc. Just 6 months earlier these were my friends. It was really bothering me.

It turned out it was all in my head. More specifically, I was super stressed from the work load that semester and it did something weird to me. I became a bit paranoid. The problem was compounded because the imaginary social paranoia was made more real as my friends caught my non-verbal cues and reacted accordingly. As soon as school ended and I passed all my finals, it was like a dark cloud went away and I realized that the problem was 90% created by me (the remaining 10% was them justifiably reacting to my negative energy).

I'm don't know if this is the case for the OP, but wanted to point out how the mind get really funny sometimes.
---
posted by forforf at 2:03 PM on July 8

Remember in grammar school how one kid always got picked on and after a while nobody even remembered why but they still did it anyway and then about 20 years later you run into that kid at a bar or something and you get to talking and you realize that that kid actually is a pretty good guy and you cant believe you picked on him? That has become you. It is snowballing. One person starts picking on you then everyone starts looking for the scapegoat and bam you are stuck as the geeky kid who gets picked on.

Or, you are the asshole.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 2:24 PM on July 8

Seconding amtho. Here is something tangible that the big boss told you. You say you don't think you smell...could you PLEASE ask a couple of people outside of your work environment if this is true?

Many people (myself included) are highly sensitive to smells, and I do recognize I treat people far less amicably if they smell offensive to me. Someone's odor is probably my biggest peeve. I don't give a shit about what people look like or wear, but if they smell like B.O. it really triggers a negative, primitive response in me. I will usually be less friendly so I don't have to interact with them.

I realize there are some people who have medical conditions and can't help it, and I make exceptions for those people. But for those who ARE relatively healthy, I get quite annoyed by responses like, "I don't think I smell!" Well, yeah, of course, we don't smell to OURSELVES.

Not saying this is the reason why your coworkers are being jerks towards you, but it's good to have all your bases covered first, you know?
posted by thisperon at 2:34 PM on July 8 [1 favorite]

Go see your doctor. If nothing else, you'll get an honest answer to the smell thing.
posted by the latin mouse at 2:54 PM on July 8

Are you a smoker? Many people find it a difficult odor to tolerate in an office environment.
posted by heyho at 3:05 PM on July 8

You don't sound like an asshole. You don't write like an asshole. Your confusion seems legitimate.

Why don't you ask someone, 'I'm getting a weird vibe around here lately, like people don't want me to be here and I don't understand it. Is something going on I should know about? Did I do something?' There has to be someone you have at least a mild rapport with.

As far as your boss saying you're stinky, well, if someone sucks it up and tells you you're stinky, you probably are. Having to tell someone they're stinky is socially really weird and really uncomfortable regardless of the circumstances. Nobody does that for fun. All of the advice above re. being a stinkopotamus is right -- shower, change deodorant, wash your clothes (and hair!), see a doctor if necessary.

As far as the rest, you need to ask someone. You really do. You'll never figure this out on your own. Maybe you somehow hurt the feelings of the office's favorite pet, maybe you come off as overly ambitious, maybe you're just a scapegoat, maybe everybody's getting laid off, they know it and you don't, and what you're perceiving as meanness is just an office-wide bad mood.

If you find out, get somebody to post an update!
posted by A Terrible Llama at 3:54 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]

It sounds like you did something to piss off everyone in your office. I have no idea what, but that is a DRASTIC change to suddenly have everyone hate you within the last few weeks.
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:23 PM on July 8

Do you drink, or have you started to drink more recently? I had a friend who normally had no body odor (which couldn't be dealt with through regular bathing and deodorant), but who started to drink to excess a couple of times a week. The day after one of her binges, she'd have strong musty body odor that was really unpleasant, but on days after not-drinking, she'd be fine. Her boss brought it to her attention after it was brought up in a management performance review. It was complicated by her preference to shower at night, but even repeated showers didn't help because it was exuding from her pores rather than being related to ordinary perspiration.
posted by catlet at 4:49 PM on July 8

This happened to me at a previous place of employment. It died down after a while and everything got back to normal, and then a year later I found out what it was about. Short version: office gossip and people jumping to conclusions.

Slightly longer version was a new guy started in another department, I vaguely knew him (kind of a friend of a friend of a friend). Anyway he had a brain snap in a meeting and started accusing all the other people in that department of this and that. They all thought "who would tell him all that stuff? Hmmm must have been Admira, he knows him outside of work" and word got around I was a snitch making things up about totally separate departments.

Of course over time even the people directly involved got to know me well enough to realise thats not my thing, and they told me what happened, and I assured them I had nothing to do with it at all.

But like you I was really confused at the time, and I questioned my own behaviours and actions.
posted by Admira at 4:53 PM on July 8

I like to think of myself as a pretty laid-back kind of guy. I try hard to be accommodating to others and to be as helpful as possible, especially at work... and I pride myself on being able to work with difficult people in difficult situations.

Have you considered that your overly helpful and accommodating behavior might be the reason for your sudden unpopularity? I used to be exactly like this, and I ended up being bullied quite a bit growing up (from males and females, if it matters).

While most people appreciate a little help and leniency from someone, it's hard to respect someone who constantly bends over backwards to avoid any type of headbutting with anyone. Since you keep putting your needs and wants below others you may be seen as basically putting yourself at the bottom of the totem pole in your work social structure.

Like I said, I used to be like this and could not understand for the life of me why people would say I was so nice then would suddenly pick on me so much, when all I was trying to do was_be_nice! However, actions speak louder than intentions so you need to become an equal to your coworkers to earn their respect. Don't be the kid brother who wants to play nice with the big kids so they'll let him hang out with them.

As for the smell issue, though you do shower enough have you considered wearing cologne and/or deodorant if you don't already? Also if your grooming and clothing are not as sharp as your coworkers it may make you seem more juvenile, which can irk people further when they're already annoyed by your behavior.
(teardrop as I remember elementary school - first 2 years of college)
posted by wiretap at 5:39 PM on July 8

You're not crazy. Your question, here in AskMe, is too coherent and well thought out to be coming from a person suffering from delusions or paranoia.

I would take a more assertive approach to this than people are suggesting above. I would think of five people who have been noticeably more rude to you lately, and go to them, privately, and say, "I noticed the other day that you were pretty short with me. I have noticed that other people, too, have seemed extremely irritated with me. Is there anything I have done to upset you guys?" If you say it in a humble, non-accusatory way that seems genuinely directed toward solving the problem, you may get to the root of what's causing this.

It sounds, to me, like you either (1) have a very irritating personality and you don't realize it, and that people have turned against you perhaps because one person has started a behind the scenes campaign against you (so that everyone's irritation has coalesced around one person who has vocally denounced you behind your back), or (2) you screwed up in some colossal way, that affected everyone else's jobs negatively, and nobody has the cojones to tell you what you did.
posted by jayder at 7:47 PM on July 8 [2 favorites]

Maybe try reading this and see if anything speaks to you or helps you find a way to deal with this. Also, there's a chapter in Mind Gym: Relationships about this, I think, but I can't find the book now.
posted by gakiko at 6:41 AM on July 9

http://www.metafilter.com/76444/Workplace-Mobbing
posted by kathrineg at 1:11 PM on July 9

You're not crazy. Your question, here in AskMe, is too coherent and well thought out to be coming from a person suffering from delusions or paranoia.

You have no way of knowing this.

See a therapist, if only for support in this difficult time. Social ostracism is really tough to deal with.
posted by kathrineg at 1:12 PM on July 9