Is it safe/practical/advisable to spank someone who's wearing a butt plug?

July 6, 2009 2:01 PM

Kinky folks: is it safe/practical/advisable to spank someone who's wearing a butt plug? What should I keep in mind while doing it?

My girlfriend's an enthusiastic fan of getting spanked. I'm an enthusiastic fan of anal play. (Neither of us is new to it. She enjoys it too, and we wouldn't do it if she didn't. It's just higher on my list than it is on hers.) It would make us both very happy campers if we could combine the two. But I'm worried it wouldn't be safe — mostly, I think, because I've always been told to be OMG BEYOND GENTLE anytime anyone's asshole is involved. I wouldn't want to hit the plug itself — just to hit her ass while she's wearing it — but even still I'm worried that it's a bad idea.

Google is useless on this. It's not just that it gives you porn. It also gives "instructions" and "personal experiences" that might be genuine or, ...okay, yeah, are probably porn. The books I've read don't say anything either way. I mean, granted, they also don't answer questions about other combinations. ("Is it okay to pinch her left nipple while biting her ear? How about the right nipple?") But like I said, the anal/roughness combo has me nervous.

Talk to me, hive pervs. What do I need to know here?

posted by anonymous to human relations (12 comments total)

Oh, you'll be fine, tiger. If it's a proper butt plug, then the flared end will prevent it from being hammered in any deeper than it needs to go.

I don't want to go into detail, but, um, you'll be fine and she'll be awesome and having the best time ever.
posted by Juliet Banana at 2:15 PM on July 6

Yes it's safe. Keep in mind that you don't want to be applying force to the butt-plug itself, so just be aware of where you're spanking. As always, let your partner guide you - she's aware of how whatever you're doing feels for her. You're not likely to do any irreparable damage if you accidentally hit the butt-plug while spanking her (you are using the type with a flange, right?) but it could be painful for her in a not nice, not arousing way.
posted by Lolie at 2:20 PM on July 6

As long as you're following the usual rules for insertive anal play--lots of lube, go slow, work up to it--then hell-ass yes you will be fine with the spanking.

Or so I have been told by people on the, ahem, receiving end.

Spanking causes an involuntary sphincter clenching. Many people who enjoy insertive anal play like squeezing down on whatever has been inserted; it feels good. Spanking causes this, as well as all the other fun stuff spanking is on its own.

Christ, we really need the ability to anonymise comments here.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 2:22 PM on July 6

Christ, we really need the ability to anonymise comments here.

I don't think so - the question had barely been posted before we all rushed in to respond...
posted by Lolie at 2:29 PM on July 6 [7 favorites]

No harm at all. Knock yourself out.
posted by rokusan at 2:42 PM on July 6

Look up "figging" - the whole -point- of it is to spank someone who has something up his/her ass.
posted by jet_silver at 3:03 PM on July 6

You're not spanking your partner's ASSHOLE, are you? You're not going to be near the plug. Spank away.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 3:10 PM on July 6

A great rule for kink is...practice it on yourself first.
posted by kathrineg at 7:50 PM on July 6 [2 favorites]

As long as you aren't pounding away on the butt plug itself, and you aren't using some budget model of butt plug that has a small base and can slip inside, you'll be great. If it feels bad, she'll tell you right away -- so don't use a gag for the first few times you try this out. Spanking will cause her to tighten up (which is why it's nice during sex, duh), which might make things a bit uncomfortable for her, or maybe she'll need some time to readjust and relax.

Communicate, communicate, communicate, and you'll be golden.
posted by Forktine at 8:49 PM on July 6

It'll be more than fine -- it'll be friggin' FANTASTIC. Like others have said, just make sure you're not spanking directly on the plug itself. (Although a bit of VERY LIGHT spanking on the plug, really just a tap, can be pretty damn great as well. Um. So I've heard.)
posted by palomar at 10:12 PM on July 6

Look up "figging" - the whole -point- of it is to spank someone who has something up his/her ass.

Is there anything for which us kinksters don't have a dedicated term?
posted by Lolie at 10:24 PM on July 6 [2 favorites]

Wow, I can't believe I missed a kink question. Oh right, I was busy doing laundry that day.

To add to the chorus, yeah, you're fine. Stick to the meaty part of her butt, and I wouldn't use something rigid like a paddle (you're fine with a flogger). Belts and crops are OK if your aim is good.

Stay away from Googling this stuff - instead, look for hardcopy books about kink that aren't porn. SM 101 by Jay Wiseman, for example (not sure if it covers this exact topic). Tristan Taormino has written at least one book about anal pleasure. I can't search for you since I'm at work, but I'd venture that digging around the BDSM category on Amazon would bring up quite a few how-to books.
posted by desjardins at 8:38 AM on July 9