Comments on: how to talk to people without actually talking to people

Question: how to talk to people without actually talking to people

puckish — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 06:10:04 -0800

Suggestions for carving out alone time visiting a partner in a different city.

I've had some rough times lately, and am currently staying with my partner (working in a different city for the summer) and his friends while everything gets straightened out. At home, we usually spend a huge chunk of every day together (we both work from home) and it's really easy to go from morning coffee to work at the coffee shop to joint lunch. We're collaborating on a project right now (that's partly why I'm here) -- but right now, I can't really think about anything, and just feel like I need some alone time. This has all got me feeling kind of stressed out --- yesterday I basically hid in the room and didn't talk to anyone, and that seems like kind of a lame way to be.

Any suggestions? specifically, for ways to break up the day, so that we can work on stuff productively (and hang out, and have fun) while I can still get quiet time to get my head straight?

By: availablelight

availablelight — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 06:29:31 -0800

Jogging (or brisk walking) would kill two birds with one stone: exercise (i.e. stress reduction and head-clearing) plus an hour or so of solitude for yourself.

By: mareli

mareli — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 06:36:16 -0800

I agree with availablelight. If it's too hot where you are to walk or jog find a gym you can join. Yoga or dance might be helpful. And check out the local library.

By: Kattullus

Kattullus — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 07:06:55 -0800

Swimming is very good. A refreshing exercise you can do in solitude.

Whatever you do talk to your partner about this after you've cleared your head. It's better to sort this out if you're both on the same page.

By: Billegible

Billegible — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 07:14:15 -0800

I'm also a big alone-time person. A trip to a coffeeshop with a book or laptop always helps me refresh.

By: zennie

zennie — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 09:35:20 -0800

I get the impression you're trying to politely sneak in your quiet time. Could you tell your partner you are feeling stressed and going through a claustrophobic phase, and need to schedule in some quiet breaks for yourself so that you can be a pleasant and sociable and happy person when you are around people? Being dodgy tends to make people invent reasons as to why you're avoiding them. When you're straightforward about it, they will often help you avoid them, especially if you ask for suggestions and point out things they could get done without your presence.