Comments on: I need a badass skill

Question: I need a badass skill

Autarky — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:36:41 -0800

I want a badass skill. I want to know how to do something that people will see and think "wow, that is badass."

Please don't suggest the Rubik's cube. There are so many how-to's that it's downright pedestrian to be able to solve it these days. I just want some skill/trick/ability that's really--for lack of a better term--badass.

I don't want gimmicks or cheap magic tricks. I'm willing to put in a lot of time learning it. I ask not because I'm not an egotistical prick, I just want to have something cool I can do that isn't easily replicated.

Lastly, it can't be really involved or expensive. I'm talking things you can do with something in your pocket or in someone's house or something.

By: jschu

jschu — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:40:20 -0800

I used to know a guy who could run up and flip off of walls.

By: Autarky

Autarky — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:41:59 -0800

That's exactly the type of thing I'm talking about. I should mention that, while not a klutz, I'm not especially athletic either.

By: Tomorrowful

Tomorrowful — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:45:24 -0800

you may consider it a "gimmick of cheap magic trick," but being able to juggle well enough to grab some arbitrary poorly-balanced objects off of someone's coffee table and set them in motion is pretty damn impressive.

By: thekiltedwonder

thekiltedwonder — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:46:09 -0800

Apparently learning to do a backflip isn't hard, just time consuming. There are a lot of videos on youtube teaching how.

And/or you could learn to pick locks.

By: pwnguin

pwnguin — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:46:53 -0800

Mythbusters had a segment about tearing phonebooks in half. Apparently even a weakling like asavage can tear one apart if they know the right technique.

By: Cookbooks and Chaos

Cookbooks and Chaos — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:48:36 -0800

A few months ago, I went on a (first) date with a guy who:
1) brought a deck of cards, did card tricks, then went on to teach me how to do them, too.
2) used dollar bills for origami. He folded dollar bills into a pair of boots, a heart, and a frog.
He then proceeded to tell me how much he liked me and asked for a second date. I said yes.

THAT GUY was badass.

By: 0xFCAF

0xFCAF — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:50:09 -0800

One-armed pull-up. For cheats, the version where your left hand holds on to your right wrist is much easier, but looks just as impressive to the unlearned observer.

By: Nonce

Nonce — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:50:47 -0800

Learn how to listen attentively to others, care about their opinions even if you disagree with them, and respond to their words with ones of your own that contain something of your genuine self in them. This should take many years of practice before perfecting.

Not what you were looking for? You could always learn how to tear a phone book in half. It's easy. There's a MythBusters episode that explains the details. Also this website. It only take a few minutes to get, so you'll have time to add other skills to your arsenal, too.

By: MaryDellamorte

MaryDellamorte — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:52:18 -0800

Seconding the dollar bill origami. You can do it anywhere, it's easy to learn and people seem to be really impressed by it.

By: Miko

Miko — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:53:33 -0800

Some things that come to mind that seem pretty badass -

Clearing a pool table in one turn
Flipping a knife/ knife juggling
Doing the reverse K-turn to change direction when driving fast on a highway
Opening beer bottles by hooking the cap on a surface and slamming your hand down on it perfectly each time
Using a straight razor

By: No New Diamonds Please

No New Diamonds Please — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:54:04 -0800

Moonwalking always seems to get a good reaction.

By: nímwunnan

nímwunnan — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:54:36 -0800

Learn how to throw knives and other easy-to-find pointy things (chopsticks, pencils, and Xacto knives are good). I'm only passable -- far from "badass" -- at this, but any time I bust it out it's a crowd pleaser. Provided that nothing gets broken. And you do it right.

Other suggestions that will only work on people who don't go outside: pen flipping or the wickedest skill evar.

Then there's, umm, this guy

By: unSane

unSane — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:58:24 -0800

Ditto knife throwing. Totally badass and fun to learn.

By: fearthehat

fearthehat — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:00:06 -0800

Carry around a Linux system on a flash drive. You will be able to seriously impress people (albeit in a very geeky kind of way) if you plug in a USB drive and start using a full desktop system. Bonus points if you use a distro with Compiz, so you can unleash some fancy graphical effects on their asses...

By: BrodieShadeTree

BrodieShadeTree — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:03:48 -0800

Hard to beat a good non-gaffed coin trick that requires true slight of hand.
Barring that - google for the "scotch and soda" coin trick. This makes people's minds melt. Warning - not *everyone* appreciates illusions (a trick is something a whore does for money, Michael).

By: deadcrow

deadcrow — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:04:30 -0800

Maybe I'm taking the question a little too literally, but I have a cousin who can fart on command. She usually farts to the rhythm of Christmas carols (or did when we were about 12).
It isn't clear from your question which people groups you'd like to impress. If it's middle school boys at summer camp (or my family, apparently) this is a good one (and you can learn how on youtube). Otherwise, keep looking.

By: milarepa

milarepa — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:05:37 -0800

Catch flies with chopsticks.

By: padraigin

padraigin — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:17:54 -0800

A friend's dad taught me to do this when I was 19 or 20, and it has served me well.

Note: I was a 115-pound girl at the time, so it was especially impressive, but fifteen or twenty pounds and years later, it's still pretty cool, and it was fucking cool when the forty-year-old, +/- 200 pound guy showed it to me. I think it's universally rad. And despite the fact that it's common enough to be on WikiHow, I'm still the only other person I know who can do it.

By: twirlypen

twirlypen — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:18:48 -0800

Spring up from your back to your feet in one movement, as you see in most martial arts movies.

You need to be mildly althletic, but it's not really about strength so much as it is about timing and coordination. I can't get onto youtube to look for it for you (search "kick-up"), but it's really quite simple:

1) Lie on your back, hands flat on the ground next to your ears.

2) Bring your legs up and as far towards your chest as you can get them (keep them straight).

3) When they go past your point of flexibility, they'll naturally 'spring' back a little. You need to kick them out as soon as this happens. Keep your legs straight. The 'kick' is all in the hips- basically moving from an acute angle at your hips to a flat angle as quickly as possible.

4) At the same time, push back with your hands to lift your torso off the ground. If you time it right, and put enough energy into it, you'll find yourself standing up with far less effort than you'd imagine.

By: floam

floam — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:34:57 -0800

Lock picking is a rarely useful but impressive ability.

By: _dario

_dario — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:50:00 -0800

I don't want gimmicks or cheap magic tricks.

Then learn how to do well magic tricks. Just a little palming and a few card tricks, if done well, can take you a long way, but you can get to be really good. You'll also have to learn quite a bit of showmanship, which is reportedly 90% of the trick.

A night out with a friend who dabbles in magic usually has first our table, then the neighboring ones, then the whole bar mouth agape and laughing and clapping like kids with just a few coins, a deck of cards and lots of sleight of hand.

By: TheSecretDecoderRing

TheSecretDecoderRing — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:53:02 -0800

How 'bout choppin' stuff up by flingin' playin' cards?

By: Cool Papa Bell

Cool Papa Bell — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:53:57 -0800

Screw these suggestions.

Learn to play some music! Piano. Harmonica. Ukelele. DRUMS. Steel drums. Bucket drums.

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:55:07 -0800

Here is an easy card trick that requires zero technique or even the ability to count. How it works is obvious to anyone with some elementary math skills and a moment to figure it out, but it can dazzle a room of stupid and/or distracted people:

Take a new deck of cards, or arrange a deck in order 2 through ace by suit.

Begin to cut the cards. Do not cut from the middle, just make as many single cuts as you like. Or get a volunteer to cut them. Keep making even cuts until folks are satisfied the cards are "shuffled".

Now lay out 13 stacks of cards. The 14th card goes on top of the first stack, etc, until you've got 13 stacks with 4 cards in each stack.

Now the reveal. Ta-da! Turn over any stack. You'll find 4 of the same card. Now turn over all the stacks. Magic! The cards have sorted themselves numerically!

I will note, however, that this trick has never gotten me laid.

By: fantastico

fantastico — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:56:07 -0800

Heh, I've spent some time thinking about this myself. What I came up with, despite never spending enough time to accomplish any of them:

-Learn to play the guitar (goes without saying)
-Be able to do a back flip (as mentioned above)
-Learn at least one song (well!) on the piano (sit down at a Casio at a music store and blow some socks off)
-Easy but impressive coin tricks
-Learn to play the harmonica (maybe it's quaint, but it's small, portable and I've always been impressed by the sound that comes out of those things. I figured other people would, too)

By: JujuB

JujuB — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:56:59 -0800

Whistle really loud, as in train whistle loud. It takes practice, but you can learn.

By: moxiedoll

moxiedoll — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:57:23 -0800

In retrospect, she must have brought it up on purpose.... but I was once at a party at the home of a friend-of-a-friend and it came out that that our hostess had gone to circus camp as a kid. What did you do? Oh, I was a fire eater. Are you kidding? Not at all, and gosh, I must have that old kit around here somewhere... Anyhow, the whole party trooped out to the parking lot of her boring VA apartment complex and she lit torches spun them around and stuck them down her throat and pulled them out STILL ON FIRE!!! and it was amazing and I'll never forget her. So I'd recommend learning how to do that.

By: x46

x46 — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:58:18 -0800

Rolling a quarter across your knuckles. Love that trick and you don't need any special prep.

Nthing the Dollar Bill origami (he has a book.) Works well for giving cash as a gift, too, and making something fun with the bills instead giving of just a piece of paper in an envelope.

Athletic trick requiring stomach muscles: sit on the floor, legs together straight ahead, arms at sides, palms on floor, fingers pointing back and lift yourself off the floor. Not showy, but it's impressive (to me, at least) and not at all easy to do unless you're fit, but it doesn't require a lot of co-ordination.

Dance like a cossack, complete with kicks from a squatting postion.

Forget any trick you ever saw in any Animal House type film as you'll get the wrong kind of laughter.

By: Billegible

Billegible — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 22:03:39 -0800

I once knew a guy who could balance anything on his head/forehead. I once saw him do it with a guitar, which was frickin' cool.

By: majick

majick — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 22:06:14 -0800

Learn to beatbox really really well.

By: Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell

Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 22:12:22 -0800

Seconding (well, sorta) JujuB. The only thing even remotely impressive along these lines that I can do is a seriously loud wolf-whistle done with the fingers of one hand. It is actually incredibly useful for catching cabs in NYC, and often results in slightly awed comments by slightly perturbed friends (whose ears are still ringing). Also good for signalling approval at sporting events and demanding encores at rock concerts.

A counselor at camp taught me how one summer. I'm sure if you Google around you can find some instructions. Takes some practice, but actually fairly easy. Not sure why more people don't know how - maybe because it's kind of annoying. :)

By: EatTheWeak

EatTheWeak — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 22:13:05 -0800

Learn to break dance. It always seems to draw a crowd and applause.

By: Jairus

Jairus — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 22:19:08 -0800

Firebreathing. Dead simple to learn how to do, looks great every time.

By: theDrizzle

theDrizzle — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 22:24:42 -0800

Zippo lighter tricks. Think George Clooney in out of sight.

By: johngoren

johngoren — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 22:31:05 -0800

Hotwiring.

By: rybreadmed

rybreadmed — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 22:36:46 -0800

I second slicing stuff by throwing playing cards at them.

Also, there's Devil's Sticks. They're impressive, and there's definite skill involved. I used to work in an educational toy store in a mall (apparently, this is good for eye-hand coordination) where we sold these. To get people into the store, the manager would have me stand at the front of the store playing these things. I'd stand there for three to four hours pretty much just practicing. I got good--people were impressed. You can't just throw them in your pocket or whip them out of your wallet (unless it's a huge wallet), but it'll look cool.

By: Detuned Radio

Detuned Radio — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 22:38:47 -0800

Google "Ricky Jay using cards as weapons" to begin your road down learning how to throw playing cards. My friends and I started to learn this in high school and by the end of our senior year we could easily draw blood, bury a playing card into a watermelon from across the room, throw cards into walls, and hurl a playing card up to 70 yards.

This is serious stuff.

Once we all armed ourselves with a deck of cards each and, wearing only running shorts, went into a racquetball court and proceeded to attack each other. It was a blood bath.

But now that I'm married and have a kid (I swear, I'll never know how I managed to marry a babe after wasting so much time in school learning to throw a playing card), it's a bitchin' trick to whip out at various social gatherings, BBQ's, game nights, etc. It always blows people's socks onto their asses. I especially love drawing blood from the tough, skeptical guy who scoffs at my claims of playing card weaponry.

By: ludwig_van

ludwig_van — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 22:39:30 -0800

Card tricks and guitar playing are not really badass. What you want are Beast Skills. A handstand would be a good place to start, then maybe work on a handstand pushup or a flag. These will not be easy, but if they were they wouldn't be badass.

By: phrontist

phrontist — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 22:53:29 -0800

Doomsday Algorithm

By: bz

bz — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 23:03:32 -0800

1. Bonafide telekinesis
2. Receiving a call from the President
3. Successful CPR
4. Chopin's Etudes or Rach's Third
5. More than three unrelated languages
6. Lightning calculation
7. Aerobatics

By: twirlypen

twirlypen — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 23:08:58 -0800

Oh yeah- fire twirling is totally easy. Get a broomstick, watch some youtube, and you'll have the basics down fairly quickly. It's not often that you'll get the opportunity to show it off, but imagine if everytime you saw a firetwirler you were able to approach them, chat for a minute, then have a go at their staff and wow everyone around you. Definitely badass.

By: fire&wings

fire&wings — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 23:21:12 -0800

Levitating. This is pretty impressive, especially to crowds of drunk people.

By: prak

prak — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 23:52:58 -0800

Be one of the people who can lift your ring finger when your middle finger is flexed palmward.

You just sit there doing it over and over again looking bored. Eventually someone else will try and fail completely; after that pretty much everyone else at your table will be trying. Of course it makes you more of a freak than a badass but any attention is good attention right?

By: aquafortis

aquafortis — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:16:38 -0800

Lip reading.
Lock bumping.
Making fire with a coke can and a chocolate bar.

And now, for something completely different:

Being able to identify colors at a glance by RGB percentage and the 101 percentage greyscale values in descending order...maybe it's an artist-nerd thing, but I think it's incredibly badass to to be able to look at a color and be able to call it precisely.

By: ouke

ouke — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:25:11 -0800

Somehow the word badass implicates a crowd of dudes to me. I mean, while reciting the whole of Dante's Divine Comedy in Italian sounds pretty cool, badass it is not. So here's a trick I learned in Czechoslovakia, when I toured that country with my band in the early nineties. No special skills needed, just the determination to get drunk at any price.

>How to open a bottle of wine for dudes<>
Imagine the situation: a room filled with empty beer bottles. Half the crowd passed out already, the other half wants to keep on drinking. Practical problem: there's no more beer. Somehow, somebody suddenly turns up with a box of wine. Next problem: there's no cork screw. This a room filled with drunk dudes, right? They all got Leathermans WITHOUT the cork screw.

Suddenly there's shouting and screaming. One skinny guy turns up with a copy of Das Kapital. He shouts: "As always, this book comes up with the right solution!" The book looks like a rag, I am soon to find out why.

He takes a bottle, takes off the capsule and walks through the room. With his left hand, he pushes the book up against the wall in front of his face. With his other hand, he grabs the bottle and places the bottom of the bottle against the book. Then he starts pounding the bottle, bottom first. And I mean pounding in a way that the whole building starts shaking. And while he keeps on hammering the bottle, the crowd starts yelling GO, GO, GO. Like magic (well, if you're drunk it seems like magic) the cork starts shifting up and up. After a while he stops and twists the cork from the bottle. By this time the white wine looks like milk, but nobody gives a shit. There's cheering when the bottle gets passed around. That was great, just eleven bottles to go.

There were more tricks I learned that particular evening. But since they involved brothels, flying ping pong balls and muscles that dudes don't have, I will wait for an appropriate opportunity on Ask Mefi to share that experience.

By: philip-random

philip-random — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:36:19 -0800

Learn to play some music!

Fuck yeah. Disappear for a few years and master an instrument. That would classify as badass and relevant.

By: flabdablet

flabdablet — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 01:07:15 -0800

Play an instrument. Guitar if you have small fingertips, piano if you've got big ones.

By: cmchap

cmchap — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 01:10:37 -0800

1)Fix anything, but be humble about it
2)Shave with a straight razor.
3)Survive well in the wilderness for 2 weeks with just a knife and the clothes on your back.
4) Completely overhaul a car/truck engine.
5) Pool [billiards] tricks.
6) Do anything on a computer via the command line/terminal.
7) Standing back tuck.
8) 10 Nail Balance Trick
9)Flawlessly sweep, fingerpick or overhand a guitar.
10) Dollar Bill oragami

Sorry if some of these deviated away from you in-the-spur-of-the-moment idea. they're just good to reference. Be sure you have good storytelling skills. if you've got those, you can make ANYTHING you've done in your life seem badass!

By: tim_in_oz

tim_in_oz — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 01:58:37 -0800

ludwig_van wrote: What you want are Beast Skills.

Damn straight. If you can do a one-armed chin up, you are officially bad-ass. I used to be officially bad-ass, but not so much after the resulting elbow surgery. So, do be careful, won't you?

By: A189Nut

A189Nut — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 03:38:44 -0800

Second the farting. Truly Bad Ass

By: ryanbryan

ryanbryan — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 03:54:25 -0800

Learn another language. Preferably not French... it's so passé these days. Hahah.

By: thisperon

thisperon — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 04:12:29 -0800

I agree with ryanbryan. Whatever your nationality/ethnicity is, attain fluency in a language that people won't expect.

There's white people with amazing fluency in Chinese that usually startles the living daylights out of both white and Chinese people when they speak.

Not only will you impress people, you'll have a great asset when you go a-travelin'.

By: thisperon

thisperon — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 04:16:43 -0800

(Gee, based on my grammar in the previous post, looks like I need to learn English. Again.)

By: vincele

vincele — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 04:22:40 -0800

If you want to be bad ass from this woman's perspective, I suggest fire eating or juggling really well. Backflips are annoying or jumping up and down or any feat of strength is annoying in my opinion.

The problem with magic tricks, even if well done, is that they scream Seduction Community routines, or as they call them "gambits." Not all gambits are magic tricks, but a lot of them are.

That said, you can get a lot of ideas from the Pick Up Artist (PUA) sites that endorse gambits-- not all do. The largest one that does is probably Mystery's, Venusian Arts. Mystery was that guy who starred in The Pickup Artist on VH1.

Don't confuse Venusian Arts with TheMysteryMethod.com aka LoveSystems.com. They are mortal enemies.

I think you have to register for the Venusian Arts forum. (I registered a long time ago, so I don't know what they require now.) But you might find there what you are looking for.

Yes. I am a woman. A woman with very weird interests.

By: knile

knile — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 05:27:29 -0800

Open a beer bottle with your teeth.

There are a number of beer bottle tricks on youtube, but the teeth is the most badass.

By: vincele

vincele — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 05:36:09 -0800

What knile just said is pretty badass.

By: zardoz

zardoz — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 05:52:00 -0800

Learn to juggle.

I don't know why you are anti-magic, but I've yet to encounter someone not entranced with a well done (well rehearsed) trick.

By: The Straightener

The Straightener — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 06:03:25 -0800

This parole officer I talk to at work says he always brings a pocketful of walnuts to the bar. He cracks them with his bicep and offers them to chicks. According to him, it drives women wild.

By: BostonTerrier

BostonTerrier — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 06:14:51 -0800

Learn Vespa maintenance and repair. People will come from far and wide to seek out your skills.

By: Metroid Baby

Metroid Baby — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 06:16:09 -0800

Unhooking a bra with one hand is the ultimate in badassery, though not something you can do in front of a crowd.

Breaking up a bar fight? Also pretty badass, but again with limited application. Probably anything that could be done at a bar would fall on the "badass" side of the scale.

Any performance requiring you to carry around a backpack with equipment? Nifty and impressive if you're good, but badasses don't carry backpacks.

By: bondcliff

bondcliff — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 06:17:43 -0800

Learn to draw a map of the United States from memory. Al Franken did this on the David Letterman show once. If that isn't badass, I don't know what is.

By: Citrus

Citrus — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 06:21:16 -0800

You could always learn Dice Control. This has the added bonus of making you cold, hard cash at the tables while being a badass. :)

By: General Malaise

General Malaise — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 06:36:19 -0800

I think the only answer to this question is: kung-fu.

Barring that, just figure out how to open a beer with a Bic lighter really well. If you can make the top pop off into the stratosphere, even better.

By: usonian

usonian — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 06:41:09 -0800

Nthing shaving with a straight razor, learning an instrument, and juggling (especially clubs, although that admittedly requires special equipment.)

Also, whenever I order a single-malt Scotch neat, there's usually someone nearby (sometimes the bartender themselves) who's never heard that term for "straight up", and for whatever reason it seems to impress. (Or maybe it's just the act of drinking unadulterated Scotch.)

By: Simon Barclay

Simon Barclay — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 07:10:04 -0800

Learn to remove the wrapper from a bottle of wine by sliding it off. Sounds dumb, but there are frequent opportunities to demonstrate it, and anyone I've showed it to has been quite impressed.

By: procrastination

procrastination — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 07:12:53 -0800

You could do what this guy does.

By: jenfullmoon

jenfullmoon — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 07:30:33 -0800

Fire poi and fire juggling/hula hooping, etc. People love fire (as seen above).

By: chunking express

chunking express — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 07:40:51 -0800

Buy a butterfly knife (balisong) and learn how to do all those crazy tricks and twirls.

By: ignignokt

ignignokt — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 07:51:31 -0800

Kill flies in a single swat.

Do pull-up off a door jamb by hooking it with only the tips of your fingers.

By: Jilder

Jilder — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 08:05:13 -0800

Learn to make a few cocktails really, really well. A good martini is always impressive, but being able to layer without a spoon will get you some serious kudos with all those who can't i.e. people like me.

My most badass thing is the ability to make a bonfire that lasts. Out of pretty much nothing. Made a fire at a party about a fortnight ago, and kept everyone warm for hours.

By: Lame_username

Lame_username — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 08:07:47 -0800

You could always learn Dice Control. This has the added bonus of making you cold, hard cash at the tables while being a badass

I really can not imagine anyone meeting Stanford Wong or Frank Scoblete and thinking "there goes a real badass."

By: WeekendJen

WeekendJen — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 08:10:42 -0800

Become extremely good at darts - this can win you money at bars.

If you want to amp it up, most aim-based skills are badass - archery, shooting, knife throwing, card throwing.

Also, for some reason I have always found whittling to be badass.

By: ignignokt

ignignokt — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 08:13:24 -0800

Oh, also, freestyle rhyming. You don't have to improvise everything completely - most rappers have a few rhymes on tap that they adjust a bit to the situation.

By: bz

bz — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 08:56:19 -0800

I have a kind of cool but not great book my mom gave me entitled Singing For Your Supper that may be of interest. It's mostly parlor tricks, some magic tricks, palm reading, stuff like that. Not really a badass instruction manual but I think worth having in your library.

More better and realistic than my earlier list:

1. Contact juggling. The coin flipping on your knuckles thing is one but another, already mentioned but worth re-mentioning, is pencil twirling which, having seen in person, I can attest is fairly awesome and something I don't think will take years to achieve some satisfying badassness. Extra bonus if you can do it nonchalantly.

2. I will reiterate lightning calculation simply because it really is impressive to witness. It can't really be showcased, though, it just needs to happen when there's a need, like, when you're helping the person you just met do his or her taxes, say, and want to be a little badass without getting out the lighter fluid and batons.

3. Learn how to play one good and familiar passage on the piano. C'mon, you can do it and it is badass. Even the dirt simple A Thousand Miles is impressive if played well.

4. Ballroom dancing skills. Al Pacino was quite badass in Scent of a Woman. I'm seconding a flawless moonwalk, though of lesser badassness than the tango, it is still impressive.

5. Tying your shoelaces with an Ian's Knot. It's badass, really. It just looks really cool when done quickly. Almost magical.

By: Mitheral

Mitheral — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 09:40:48 -0800

chunking express writes "Buy a butterfly knife (balisong) and learn how to do all those crazy tricks and twirls."

This was going to be my suggestion but be aware that butterfly knives are classed as gravity knives, because they can be easily opened with one hand, and are illegal many places unless you have a hand disability. Of course technically the locking blade on a leatherman is illegal in many of these places too (because it locks and/or is over 2" in length), especially if you keep it in your pocket rather than on your belt so YMMV. However butterfly knives are showy (the whole point after all) and aren't seen as having redeeming qualities. Cops see them as gang weapons.

By: Sully

Sully — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 10:05:01 -0800

I think for me the most badass thing is when people I am hanging out with just start conversations with anyone they want. Like, on a street, in a restaurant, and can charm them enough that they are actively engaged.

By: danascot

danascot — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 10:17:53 -0800

Better than a lighter, open a beer with a dollar bill:

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/460195/open_beer_with_one_dollar_bill_college_survival_101/

Another little trick you can do when the opportunity comes up: When a candle is burning, take a match and light it from the candle. Blow out the candle, wait a beat and then bring the lit match into the rising smoke above the candle. The flame will ignite the gases in the smoke, run down to the candle wick and relight it.

By: paultopia

paultopia — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 10:30:54 -0800

Open a champagne bottle with a sword?

By: Barry B. Palindromer

Barry B. Palindromer — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 10:40:31 -0800

Phone book tearing was mentioned upthread. It's a great little trick, and looks pretty badass. You can learn how to tear a phone book with minimal knowledge of technique and still have lots of room for improvement. Then you can work up to phone book shearing, and then someday license plate tearing! That's pretty badass.

Every man should have a musical skill, should be able to dance and cook a very good meal or two. But these skills are not badass. They are cool. Making knives out of plate glass is bad ass. Throwing enormous stones while wearing a kilt is also badass. Deadlifting 600 pounds is also badass.

By: junesix

junesix — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 10:47:06 -0800

Carve a chicken in 18 seconds - Don't wipe a raw chicken and then wipe the plate though.
Fillet a fish
French a lamb roast

By: bz

bz — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 10:54:34 -0800

junesix: those links all seem to go to the same chicken video.

By: tipthepizzaguy

tipthepizzaguy — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 11:15:19 -0800

Learn a few Judo throws, chokes, or joint locks
Learn how to kick down a door
Learn how to survive being hit by a car
Learn how to deadlift
Learn how to roll up a frying pan
Learn how to tear a phone book in half
Learn how to tear a deck of cards in half
Learn how to crack an apple in half with your bare hands
Learn how to shoot fireballs out of your hands
Learn how to make your fingers smoke
Learn how to escape from handcuffs

By: jckll

jckll — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 11:59:30 -0800

I had a friend in college who used to eat shot glasses. And another friend who could drink a beer whilst standing on his head (from a can or a glass, not just a bottle).

Those are pretty badass. I think the trick with the shot glass is to have really hard teeth and just CHEW CHEW CHEW. The shards break down into just little bits of sand so you just have to get good at chewing it bit by bit and keeping it away from the soft parts.

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 12:10:17 -0800

I see several comments recommending learning to juggle. Good idea. Juggling is easier than you think, and a week of practicing about an hour a day will give you basic competency. For the record, I'm nowhere near anything like a good juggler, but I can do torches, knives, bowling balls & such, and I did make rent for several lean months through street juggling. So:

Get three beanbags of equal weight. Beanbags are easier to catch and they don't roll when you drop them. I will hereafter refer to beanbags as balls, cuz I'm tired of typing the word beanbag.

With one ball in your dominant hand, stand facing a wall. You should be close enough that the wall prevents you from extending your arms fully. The reason you are facing a wall is simple: this encourages you to learn to toss on a plane perpendicular to the ground.

Toss the ball from one hand to another. Do not worry about catching it! This step is designed to teach you the toss, not the catch. Toss the ball until you can achieve a consistent eye-level arc.

Now teach the non-dominant hand the same toss. This took me about a day of boring repitition: I'm hopelessly klutzy with my left hand.

Repeat this enough and you will have also taught yourself to catch: don't grab, let the ball hit the center of your palm and your fingers will close naturally around it. Did I say don't grab? Yeah, don't.

Now you know the pass. Practice with one ball. Left-to right, right-to left. Stop looking at your hands! Stop watching the balls! Focus on a point beyond the wall you are standing before. Let your peripheral vision and proprioception guide your hands to be beneath the falling ball.

Now add ball #2. With a ball in each hand, toss the ball from your non-dominant hand. When that ball is at it's apex, toss the ball from your other hand. If you're doing it right, the first ball will land in your dominant hand as the second ball reaches its apex. Practice this UNTIL YOU CAN DO IT WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED. Oh, learn it both ways: right to left and left to right.

Now dig this: that's all three-ball manipulation is! It's a bunch of two-ball exchanges strung together!

Add the third ball. Two in one hand, one in the other. Think about the timing of the two-ball pattern: this is no different, just a bit faster. Toss higher if it helps, but keep facing that wall: height is much easier to compensate for than off-plane tosses.

Juggle.you Ta-da! The first time you successfully circulate three balls, the light will come on. Within weeks you'll be competent and teaching yourself tricks. And clubs are as easy as balls, and knives and flambeaux are just dangerous clubs.

Juggling gave me confidence and a fun skill at parties. It's much easier to do than it looks.

Now you've learned the exchange. Three-ball juggling is nothi g

By: Autarky

Autarky — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 12:25:48 -0800

If nothing else, this thread is pretty badass. Lots of great suggestions in here. I'll go through and mark some best answers later.

By: FusiveResonance

FusiveResonance — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 15:01:30 -0800

86 comments and 148 users have favourited.

This thread is badass.

By: jpdoane

jpdoane — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 17:02:48 -0800

I think the trick with the shot glass is to have really hard teeth and just CHEW CHEW CHEW. The shards break down into just little bits of sand so you just have to get good at chewing it bit by bit and keeping it away from the soft parts.

What.

By: Unicorn on the cob

Unicorn on the cob — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 18:51:57 -0800

Light cigarettes like Jun does in Mystery Train.

I always thought archery was the most badass thing, probably because you never see people doing it in real life and it's an actual skill that would help you post-zombie apocalypse.

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 19:14:02 -0800

Oops. WTF?

By: Muirwylde

Muirwylde — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 19:28:24 -0800

Learned a cheat years ago on tearing a phonebook in half. Bake in oven for 5-6 hours at very low temperature. Dries the book out making it very easy to tear.

By: danb

danb — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:07:39 -0800

Sabrage is kind of badass.

By: danascot

danascot — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 21:25:15 -0800

Another cool trick:

http://www.tvlesson.com/video/33214_zippo-trick-how-to-take-the-flame-and-put-it-back.html

By: flutable

flutable — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 21:58:44 -0800

1. Buy and read the Book of Cool. Can't believe no-one's mentioned this.

2. Learn Finnish.

By: Cold Lurkey

Cold Lurkey — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 19:59:42 -0800

90º turns on a bike with no hands. (okay probably more like 120º) but yeah, not athletic per se, but more of a balance and timing skill. I do this when I feel the need to feel particularly badass.

By: The World Famous

The World Famous — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 20:56:48 -0800

My uncle can play Flight Of The Bumblebee insanely fast and flawlessly on the cello. I think that song qualifies on pretty much any instrument. Learn that on the instrument of your choice.

By: permafrost

permafrost — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 01:59:16 -0800

Some of permafrost's favourite Zippo tricks:

Easy: Hold lighter in right hand with the cap between the thumb and index, the hinge toward your palm. Shake down hard, it should fall open with you still holding it by the cap. Reach round with the middle/ring finger to strike.

Jun-style (from the video above): Hold lighter in your left hand with hinge to the left, palm toward you and your thumb on the base and index and middle fingers on the cap. Squeeze hard and your index and middle fingers should slide down, popping the cap open. Light by clicking fingers with the right hand, so that as your middle finger moves down it hits the striking wheel. Yes, this can sting, but remember - bad ass.

Bond style (I don't know why it's called this): In your right hand, hold the lighter vertically, but on one side, so the hinge is on the top and the cap to the right. Hold it with your middle finger on the top (hinge) side in the middle, and your index and ring fingers on the bottom, on either side. Push up with the index and ring, and down with the middle, and the lighter should 'split' open. Reach round to grip the body between the thumb, index and middle fingers, twisting it round so the striking wheel rubs against your palm, then push down. It will light upside down. This needs a bit of practice to be done fluidly, but can look pretty good.

Those are the ones I used the most. The real trick though is to do them in one practised motion, while talking about something else or just remaining completely nonchalant. In the UK at least, you don't see many Zippo tricks in the wild these days, so if you can pull one off you should get at least a 'hey, do that again!'

By: Miko

Miko — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 07:17:57 -0800

You can also light a zippo on your jeans. Flip it open, place the wheel on your jeans, and quickly snap it back and then forward.

By: BoscosMom

BoscosMom — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:06:08 -0800

Learn how to start a car with a manual transmison by "popping the clutch" in case of a dead battery or a broken starter. Nothing to it once you know how but a life saver when someone needs it. You can practice it on a steep hill.

By: smackfu

smackfu — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:55:40 -0800

Barring that, just figure out how to open a beer with a Bic lighter really well. If you can make the top pop off into the stratosphere, even better.

This one is good because I've actually seen it be useful. Like we had beers and didn't have a bottle opener, and someone cool said "does anyone have a lighter?"

Also, if you're good at it, it just works without any effort. Then when someone else tries it, they won't be able to do it at all. That equals "badass" in my mind.

By: rongorongo

rongorongo — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 01:59:15 -0800

Ropes and knots can be a rich source of badassery. For example:
Tying a prussik knot and then using it to ascend the single rope (that is hanging down into the well you are trapped in).
A one handed bowline (best done without looking).
Storing a rope in a chain sinnet.
Making a masthead knot mat to put your beer on.
Tying a honda knot for your lasso trick roping.
Making rope handcuffs.
Finally you have to coil your rope like this aspiring badasses in preparation for your exit.

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 23:00:25 -0800

Can you carry a tune? Speaking from personal experience, if you train your voice and learn enough about music and performance that you can get onstage, know your key, count out a tune, nail the song, and then calmly go offstage to applause? People do tend to think you're pretty dang badass.

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 23:01:33 -0800

Oh, another thing that makes someone badass? TRAIN TO GIVE A GOOD MASSAGE. Seriously. People will be like putty in your hands and it's very sexy to know how to really touch someone else.

By: heather-b

heather-b — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 06:54:56 -0800

Knot untying in lightning speed. Also, putting someone into checkmate in 4 moves.

By: flabdablet

flabdablet — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 05:26:37 -0800

Four moves isn't badass. Two moves is badass.

By: OmieWise

OmieWise — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 07:08:13 -0800

I was once at a party where folks were playing guitars and banjos and singing in a big circle. People were moderately engaged. Then this dude picked up a couple of spoons from the table, and started to play them really well. People got very interested. It's one of the few situations I've ever been in where I could see women coming from around the room to be close to the guy. My friends and I still joke about how laid that guy got that night. It was truly astounding. (He was good with the spoons, and it didn't hurt that he was good looking.)

By: Demogorgon

Demogorgon — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 22:09:54 -0800

I worked in a local blacksmith shop making replica swords and armor for three years. People always tell me it's badass when they find out. You begin to think of the world strictly in terms of raw materials, and you begin to think of yourself as an engine for re-purposing those materials. I also learned surprisingly practical skills like how to make a safety pin from a paper clip, and also that the safety pin originates from 14th Century Mycenae. It's not a difficult trade to get into.