Wedding speech suggestions

June 25, 2009 7:52 AM

In need of a poem or other suggestions for a rehearsal dinner speech--

I am a female attendant to the groom at a wedding this weekend. Tonight at the rehearsal dinner I am expected to give a small speech but I'm finding it difficult to write for a few reasons: I'm a pretty terrible writer, if only in the sense that I am pretty pithy (which does not a good speech make), the groom and I were romantically involved in the past and I feel like most of the anecdotes I could share come from that era and are therefore inappropriate, and I don't know the bride very well (although I like her quite a bit) and have spent little time with the two of them together.

So, in trying to get to the point, I was hoping to bulk up my speech with a poem of some sort (not too long). I was hoping to find something kind of funny and a bit sardonic, as mine and the groom's friendship is based around a lot of insulting banter, but sweet and genuine without being too saccharine. Any recommendations?

A bit about him: he's an expert on pre-war blues music, he likes baseball, he's a techie, definitely kind of a loner/hermit but his fiancee has brought him out of his shell a bit.

Any other suggestions to make a good speech are welcome.

Thanks!

Any other suggestions are welcome

posted by greta simone to writing & language (7 comments total)

Pardon the lack of editing on my part...
posted by greta simone at 7:58 AM on June 25

At my wedding we had this read out, I think it's by Ogden Nash

"To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up."

Would that fit the bill?
posted by IanMorr at 8:05 AM on June 25

Any other suggestions to make a good speech are welcome.

The best rehearsal dinner/wedding speeches I've heard have followed more or less this pattern:

I've known [friend] for [X] years, and I have always admired his/her [character trait]. [Very, very brief anecdote illustrating the person's best quality]. When s/he met [fiance(e)], I knew s/he had found someone who loves and supports him/her, and who brings out the best in him/her. It's been a pleasure getting to know [fiance(e)] and to see the two of them making each other so happy. I wish you much joy and a long life together.

The main thing to remember is not to talk about yourself: no "I'm a really sarcastic person, so the groom and I..." or "I love baseball, so the groom and I..." Keep it short, sincere, and focused on the groom or the couple. I think a lot of people go wrong because they feel like they have to be entertaining, which makes them self-conscious, which brings out bad public speaking habits like giving too much information about yourself (hint: people will get the funny anecdote about the groom even if they don't know anything about you, seriously I promise). I don't mean that to imply that you're super self-absorbed and want to talk about yourself a lot, I just mean that I've seen people who are really quite gracious, non-self-absorbed people get up and give speeches that end up 80% about themselves and 20% about the couple because they just get tongue-tied. So, keep it brief and focused, and practice in front of a real live person before you go to the dinner. You'll do great.
posted by Meg_Murry at 8:24 AM on June 25 [1 favorite has favorites]

I have been MC at a frightening number of weddings, and I am kind of fond of John Ciardi's "Most Like an Arch This Marriage." It's pretty short, and easy to read. It is from one of the partner's perspectives, which might seem inappropriate in certain circumstances, but there it is. Meg Murry's advice is good, and I generally recommend running through your whole speech at least 3 times before you give it -- that makes sure that your mouth keeps moving even if your brain wanders off track.
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:59 AM on June 25

Keep it short and sweet. I second Meg Murry's excellent template. If you can work in the bit about how you've noticed that his fiancee has brought him out of his shell, it would be a nice nod to her during your talk about the groom.
posted by pised at 12:16 PM on June 25

I was hoping to find something kind of funny and a bit sardonic...sweet and genuine without being too saccharine.

Apologies that I can't think of any particular pieces offhand (anyone else?), but in terms of the tone, you've just given the dictionary definition of Billy Collins.
posted by Beardman at 1:02 PM on June 25

Kinda ran out of time and just read what I had written. He loved it so I was all anxious for no reason. Thanks anyway!
posted by greta simone at 12:55 PM on June 26