Help Me Marry In CA
June 24, 2009 12:14 PM Subscribe
I've been asked to perform a marriage ceremony in Los Angeles sometime in January. I live in New York. What do I need to do to become legally certified to perform this marriage? Here are the options that I know of...
A. California has a Deputy For a Day program for many counties that allow qualifying people to perform ONE marriage. But it says I must complete a training class first. Has anyone done this? Can the class be arranged for shortly before the wedding? (I'm flying out there specifically for that event, so any sort of class is going to have to occur at the last minute).
B. "Marriages can be performed by a priest, minister, shaman or rabbi of any religious denomination." Can this really be as simple as a Universal Life Church ordination? Can I legally found my own denomination, as some do in New York to be able to perform marriages? Would I need to do that here, or there?
I want to make sure this is all perfectly legal and binding so as not to put my friends in a tough position later on (even though they're the ones who invited a gay to fly to CA and perform a marriage literally the day after Prop 8 was passed...)
A. California has a Deputy For a Day program for many counties that allow qualifying people to perform ONE marriage. But it says I must complete a training class first. Has anyone done this? Can the class be arranged for shortly before the wedding? (I'm flying out there specifically for that event, so any sort of class is going to have to occur at the last minute).
B. "Marriages can be performed by a priest, minister, shaman or rabbi of any religious denomination." Can this really be as simple as a Universal Life Church ordination? Can I legally found my own denomination, as some do in New York to be able to perform marriages? Would I need to do that here, or there?
I want to make sure this is all perfectly legal and binding so as not to put my friends in a tough position later on (even though they're the ones who invited a gay to fly to CA and perform a marriage literally the day after Prop 8 was passed...)
Try the Universal Life Church. Ordination free online. The regulations by state vary however. Here's their link to guide you.
You may need a 'Letter of Good Standing' with the church (although it doesnt look like it from the list). I had to do that here in Nevada. This can take a few days at least (it has to be notarized). Call the church. They are quite helpful. Don't wait, and chat with the County Clerk as well. You have plenty of time now. Don't waste it.
posted by elendil71 at 12:29 PM on June 24, 2009
You may need a 'Letter of Good Standing' with the church (although it doesnt look like it from the list). I had to do that here in Nevada. This can take a few days at least (it has to be notarized). Call the church. They are quite helpful. Don't wait, and chat with the County Clerk as well. You have plenty of time now. Don't waste it.
posted by elendil71 at 12:29 PM on June 24, 2009
I married my best friend and his wife in Utah with my certificate from the universal life church. Other than the weird look from a county recorder, it was easy as pie. Plus I blessed everyone's drinks for about a week as I am Padre Gravitus, and was enabled by the church of Universal life to do so.
posted by Gravitus at 12:50 PM on June 24, 2009
posted by Gravitus at 12:50 PM on June 24, 2009
Double-check with the jurisdiction first, I implore you. I was asked to do the wedding for a friend of mine, but the county in question did not have the Deputy For A Day program, which meant that on the Thursday before the wedding, we were running around madly looking for some way to deal with this (and my friend... if thoughts could kill, she'd have slain most of the California government at that point, then brought them back just to kill them again).
And that's with my ULC ordination, too.
posted by mephron at 1:26 PM on June 24, 2009
And that's with my ULC ordination, too.
posted by mephron at 1:26 PM on June 24, 2009
Yes, check with the county. I am ordained in the Universal Life Church and married a couple in California, in a county that didn't require any sort of prior registration. I just had to indicate the church in which I was ordained on the marriage certificate. Some counties require a letter of good standing or other documentation. The county clerk's website in the county where you will be performing the ceremony will have the information you need.
posted by bedhead at 1:46 PM on June 24, 2009
posted by bedhead at 1:46 PM on June 24, 2009
California has a Deputy For a Day program for many counties that allow qualifying people to perform ONE marriage. But it says I must complete a training class first. Has anyone done this? Can the class be arranged for shortly before the wedding?
Why, my officiant was deputized under that program. The amount of time required is going to wildly vary by count. My friend was deputized in LA county. He had to send in his application no earlier than two months before the wedding, and the appointment to be deputized happened two weeks prior. I believe the LA office was only open on Thursdays, and I'm sure if you call in advance you could have an appointment for the Thursday prior to the wedding.
The "training class" was a 30-minute list of all the rules and regulations - basically outlining which forms to sign and what the officiant, bride, and groom legally had to say during the ceremony.
One last thing - the deputy for a day license works for any county, not just the one that issued the commission. Our officiant got his in Los Angeles county and we were married in Nevada County, CA.
posted by muddgirl at 1:46 PM on June 24, 2009
Why, my officiant was deputized under that program. The amount of time required is going to wildly vary by count. My friend was deputized in LA county. He had to send in his application no earlier than two months before the wedding, and the appointment to be deputized happened two weeks prior. I believe the LA office was only open on Thursdays, and I'm sure if you call in advance you could have an appointment for the Thursday prior to the wedding.
The "training class" was a 30-minute list of all the rules and regulations - basically outlining which forms to sign and what the officiant, bride, and groom legally had to say during the ceremony.
One last thing - the deputy for a day license works for any county, not just the one that issued the commission. Our officiant got his in Los Angeles county and we were married in Nevada County, CA.
posted by muddgirl at 1:46 PM on June 24, 2009
Here is the link for the LA County Deputy Commissioner program. The website says, "Applications received less than two months prior to the wedding may be rejected," but I know my officiant's application was returned because he mailed it in more than two months in advance. After that point, he timed it to arrive exactly two months before the wedding date to be on the safe side.
In summary: The safest and least-religious way to become an officiant is through the Deputy Commissioner program. The "training" is about an hour long and has to occur on a Thursday at 11am, by appointment. If that's not possible then you'll have to explore the ULC way.
posted by muddgirl at 1:49 PM on June 24, 2009
In summary: The safest and least-religious way to become an officiant is through the Deputy Commissioner program. The "training" is about an hour long and has to occur on a Thursday at 11am, by appointment. If that's not possible then you'll have to explore the ULC way.
posted by muddgirl at 1:49 PM on June 24, 2009
I have married a number of people with the ULC ordination in Los Angeles. All you need to do is indicate your title and ordination on the certificate. In addition, a friend has been doing this for many, many years. It is perfectly legal in Los Angeles. Feel free to mefi mail me if you have any questions.
posted by Sophie1 at 2:00 PM on June 24, 2009
posted by Sophie1 at 2:00 PM on June 24, 2009
It is perfectly legal in Los Angeles.
Well, perhaps. The validity of ULC clergy has never been challenged. Acceptance of a signed marriage license is not proof of legality. From this page: The laws of the State of California make it unnecessary for persons performing marriages to file credentials with the clerk of the court or with anyone else. The county and state are removed from any responsibility for verification of credentials. The State does not maintain a central registry of members of the clergy. Any such concern for verification is totally at the discretion of the parties to the marriage.
If you decide to go the ULC route, please make sure that you perform the legalities. I also remember being warned that we couldn't cross anything out on the marriage license - we had to do it right the first time.
posted by muddgirl at 2:17 PM on June 24, 2009
Well, perhaps. The validity of ULC clergy has never been challenged. Acceptance of a signed marriage license is not proof of legality. From this page: The laws of the State of California make it unnecessary for persons performing marriages to file credentials with the clerk of the court or with anyone else. The county and state are removed from any responsibility for verification of credentials. The State does not maintain a central registry of members of the clergy. Any such concern for verification is totally at the discretion of the parties to the marriage.
If you decide to go the ULC route, please make sure that you perform the legalities. I also remember being warned that we couldn't cross anything out on the marriage license - we had to do it right the first time.
posted by muddgirl at 2:17 PM on June 24, 2009
Marriages can be performed by a priest, minister, shaman or rabbi of any religious denomination." Can this really be as simple as a Universal Life Church ordination?
Yes. I don't know about the legalities in different jursidictions, but our marriage was performed by a friend with a ULC license and the Contra Costa County Clerk did not even blink at it. YMMV.
posted by blucevalo at 2:21 PM on June 24, 2009
Yes. I don't know about the legalities in different jursidictions, but our marriage was performed by a friend with a ULC license and the Contra Costa County Clerk did not even blink at it. YMMV.
posted by blucevalo at 2:21 PM on June 24, 2009
And I guess to emphasize what muddgirl has said, it probably pays to check with the county clerk and know the local requirements and regs before you go any further.
posted by blucevalo at 2:23 PM on June 24, 2009
posted by blucevalo at 2:23 PM on June 24, 2009
Two good friends of mine were married last month in Los Angeles County by a newly-minted minister of the Universal Life Church. So, yeah, it's really that simple.
posted by univac at 4:18 PM on June 24, 2009
posted by univac at 4:18 PM on June 24, 2009
I was married by a San Diego County Deputy for a Day. I'm pretty sure he didn't have to go through any sort of training - I believe he was in Washington, D.C. up until the day before the wedding, so I don't know when he would have done it. If muddgirl is right, and you can get married in any county by any other county's deputy, I'd definitely go with SD since as I said I don't think you need to show up for a class.
posted by crinklebat at 10:20 PM on June 24, 2009
posted by crinklebat at 10:20 PM on June 24, 2009
I've done officiated two weddings in California, though neither was in Los Angeles. One wedding was three years ago, the other was four. The extent of the process was filling out an application form, getting it notarized, and sending it along with a check. They'll mail you some information about how to do the ceremony--in California there is certain language that has to be said during the ceremony, though it's very minor. And that's that. It's easy, or at least it was. Hope that hasn't changed.
posted by jorgej at 1:02 PM on September 4, 2009
posted by jorgej at 1:02 PM on September 4, 2009
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Yes. I have seen it done.
Also, previously on the Green.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:29 PM on June 24, 2009