Online Gayting in the District
June 22, 2009 10:23 AM Subscribe
I'm gay. I'm in DC. I just don't have what it takes to go out and "meet" guys at bars. It's time to hit up the online dating scene, but there are soooo many different services and options, it's hard to know where to start. Who should I create a profile/start a subscription with?
I just find myself overwhelmed by the huge number of services I could sign up with. I know there are some which won't take me for being gay (eHarmony?), and that some free sites are stomping ground for jokers or worse. Any suggestions or recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
I don't know it's relevant, but I'm 22, and...I don't know what I am, but it would be a crime to classify me as a twink.
I just find myself overwhelmed by the huge number of services I could sign up with. I know there are some which won't take me for being gay (eHarmony?), and that some free sites are stomping ground for jokers or worse. Any suggestions or recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
I don't know it's relevant, but I'm 22, and...I don't know what I am, but it would be a crime to classify me as a twink.
I had a handful of good dates with Chemistry.
It was expensive and I don't use it anymore, but the personality test they use to match you up is interesting.
It seemed that almost everyone was my age (32) or older though, if that matters to you.
posted by Tchad at 10:39 AM on June 22, 2009
It was expensive and I don't use it anymore, but the personality test they use to match you up is interesting.
It seemed that almost everyone was my age (32) or older though, if that matters to you.
posted by Tchad at 10:39 AM on June 22, 2009
Yeah, I'm going to second OKCupid. It's just all around decent and free and pretty irreverent, which I think it key to making the best of the online dating world. Dating is not SERIOUS BUSINESS. And it is usually not too much fun when you treat it like it is.
Avoid gay.com. It's really pathetic (the free version is slightly better than a lot of other places, because at least you can email, but that's pretty much the only thing that is better - everything else about the free version sucks). Manhunt and Adam4Adam are both kind of in the same category as gay.com in my opinion. (Aside from the typical "omg its a meatmarket" complaint which, let's face it, is going to get lobbed at just about every dating site that boys use.) Connexion was okay for a little while, but it was pretty basic (technologically speaking) and that was kind of a turn off. Plenty of Fish has the same problem: cheaply designed and so it isn't really all that great.
Also, don't underestimate the power of making some friends and networking your way into a date. The gays in east coast cities are a pretty closeknit community. (Case in point, I was on a coffee date a couple weeks ago, and my ex walked up to say hi. Turns out that my date and my ex both had a mutual friend and were attending the mutual friend's birthday party later in the week.) Recently on Ugly Betty, Mark St. James played Gay Six Degrees of Separation. I have TOTALLY played that game. (Gayme?) And it's not unrealistic to expect to get some dates that way.
Find some other gays who are into what you are into - if not bars and clubbing, then what? Sports? I know some of the DC Frontrunners, and I know that's not the only gay sports group around. Nerds? You can't swing a cat in academic departments at universities without hitting a couple gays. In short: make friends in a way that you're comfortable with. You know, like MetaFilter meetups...
posted by greekphilosophy at 10:53 AM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]
Avoid gay.com. It's really pathetic (the free version is slightly better than a lot of other places, because at least you can email, but that's pretty much the only thing that is better - everything else about the free version sucks). Manhunt and Adam4Adam are both kind of in the same category as gay.com in my opinion. (Aside from the typical "omg its a meatmarket" complaint which, let's face it, is going to get lobbed at just about every dating site that boys use.) Connexion was okay for a little while, but it was pretty basic (technologically speaking) and that was kind of a turn off. Plenty of Fish has the same problem: cheaply designed and so it isn't really all that great.
Also, don't underestimate the power of making some friends and networking your way into a date. The gays in east coast cities are a pretty closeknit community. (Case in point, I was on a coffee date a couple weeks ago, and my ex walked up to say hi. Turns out that my date and my ex both had a mutual friend and were attending the mutual friend's birthday party later in the week.) Recently on Ugly Betty, Mark St. James played Gay Six Degrees of Separation. I have TOTALLY played that game. (Gayme?) And it's not unrealistic to expect to get some dates that way.
Find some other gays who are into what you are into - if not bars and clubbing, then what? Sports? I know some of the DC Frontrunners, and I know that's not the only gay sports group around. Nerds? You can't swing a cat in academic departments at universities without hitting a couple gays. In short: make friends in a way that you're comfortable with. You know, like MetaFilter meetups...
posted by greekphilosophy at 10:53 AM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]
My brother had great luck on Match, even in a smaller city. He got plenty of dates and some lasting friendships out of it. And you're in a more metropolitan area, so, bigger city, more members, even better experience, I bet.
posted by Ladybug Parade at 11:14 AM on June 22, 2009
posted by Ladybug Parade at 11:14 AM on June 22, 2009
I'm not going to say avoid Yahoo! Personals specifically, but I signed up a couple of years ago and went out with a few guys...nothing ended up being long-term and I made my profile non-searchable and forgot about it. Fast forward to last month, when I got one of those "Your profile is about to expire!" messages, went to the site out of curiosity...and saw that a lot of the same people are still there looking. OKCupid seems to be the consensus for younger people looking to meet up; Manhunt if you just want to hook up.
greekphilosophy is right that there are a lot more gay sports organizations in DC than you'd expect (and having been involved in a few teams, I'd say the Frontrunners are unusually cliquish)...also, there are a ton of 22-23 year olds in the area; it seems like this has become the hip place for people to head to after college.
Also, the bar scene is fairly diverse--you could try line dancing at Remington's or trivia night at Nellie's; they're pretty far from the cruisy/scenester image most people have of gay nightlife.
posted by kittyprecious at 12:55 PM on June 22, 2009
greekphilosophy is right that there are a lot more gay sports organizations in DC than you'd expect (and having been involved in a few teams, I'd say the Frontrunners are unusually cliquish)...also, there are a ton of 22-23 year olds in the area; it seems like this has become the hip place for people to head to after college.
Also, the bar scene is fairly diverse--you could try line dancing at Remington's or trivia night at Nellie's; they're pretty far from the cruisy/scenester image most people have of gay nightlife.
posted by kittyprecious at 12:55 PM on June 22, 2009
OkCupid is good for dating.
Manhunt is good for hookups. and maybe also dating.
posted by Maia at 4:54 PM on June 22, 2009
Manhunt is good for hookups. and maybe also dating.
posted by Maia at 4:54 PM on June 22, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
Also, if you have an iPhone, check out Grindr.
posted by zerokey at 10:36 AM on June 22, 2009