proper protocol for flower leis

June 18, 2009 11:04 AM

Quick: for High School graduation: Do I give my daughter a lei before the ceremony so she can wear it all through (is that tacky?), or only after, as a gift (but then no one will see it)?

I've got 20 minutes to decide, sorry for the rush.

posted by SLC Mom to education (16 comments total)

After, imo wearing a flower lei during a graduation ceremony would be weird.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 11:06 AM on June 18

Also, a lot of HS powers-that-be would just make her take it off.
posted by Tomorrowful at 11:08 AM on June 18

After, I think. Is she moving to Hawaii?
posted by roll truck roll at 11:08 AM on June 18

After. People will see it as she socializes and accepts congratulations. But accepting her diploma wearing one? Weird. And possibly embarrassing for her.
posted by philotes at 11:08 AM on June 18

Thanks everyone. There certainly seems to be a consensus!!!!
After it is.

She is not moving to HI, but leis at graduation are pretty common in SoCal.
posted by SLC Mom at 11:11 AM on June 18

Huh, I've never heard of this as a graduation tradition. But this page says students wear them over their robes. And I found this article about one high school banning them, so apparently they're meant to be worn during the ceremony. You learn something new every day.
posted by MsMolly at 11:11 AM on June 18

I don't think it'd be weird at all, but, yeah, I've heard a lot of stories about high shool powers-that-be frowning on any sort of personal expression. It sucks to be normal, but it'd suck worse if they held her diploma, as happened to a friend of mine.
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:13 AM on June 18

At my California high school and college graduations, many students wore leis (I didn't).

Give it to her now and if her teachers make her take it off then so be it.
posted by muddgirl at 11:14 AM on June 18

Oh, if it's something people actually do in her highschool I second muddgirl. Maybe you could just ask her what she prefers (if you're not invested in it being a surprise?)
posted by Solon and Thanks at 11:21 AM on June 18

I graduated college with lots of Hawaiians. All their families and friends gave them leis after the ceremonies (the same way other parents were giving their kids flowers). But this is in New England.
posted by olinerd at 11:23 AM on June 18

My SoCal friend wore her lei over her gown and accepted her [college] diploma wearing it.
posted by alynnk at 11:46 AM on June 18

Well, she's gone off, so we'll give it to her after. And she can wear it at the party tomorrow.
Thanks everyone for your help.
MM
posted by SLC Mom at 11:52 AM on June 18

You may want to find out if her school has a policy standardizing what people wear. Some schools are very strict and if hers is, she'll likely have to throw it away or hide it under her robe somehow. I remember at my h.s. graduation, they wouldn't let one guy walk because he wasn't wearing a collared shirt under his robe.
posted by ishotjr at 11:53 AM on June 18

I know your specific window of opprotunity is over, but I'm leaving some advice for people who search for this type of thing later.

At my sister's HS graduation a boy wasn't allowed to walk because he was wearing white socks with his dress shoes. He then took them off (thus wearing no socks) and returned to his spot. Only to be removed again.

When in doubt I say leave all the extra stuff out of a graduation. I doubt she would be removed from the ceremony for something that can be easily removed/hidden. But why cause a problem if you don't have to?
posted by theichibun at 12:11 PM on June 18

California. People have been wearing leis over their graduation gown here for about 10 years during the ceremony. High school, college, even med school. I don't recall if I saw them at the law school graduation though, come to think of it. So, I'm thinking it's totally regional.
posted by jabberjaw at 12:25 PM on June 18

I think it depends on the school... my high school had no rules regarding what you could/couldn't wear in terms of additional adornment, so we had people wearing leis, garlands of candy, wigs, all kinds of nonsense - it was part of the fun!
posted by illenion at 1:28 PM on June 18