How to protect an elderly man who keeps giving money to a con artist?

June 12, 2009 9:22 PM

How do we protect an elderly man who keeps voluntarily giving money to a con artist?

So on Monday a stranger flagged down my grandfather ouside a hospital and told him a sad story about how his car was stolen and he needed money for various things. My trusting 88 year old good catholic grandfather believes him and drives him around and gives him money, and now it's the end of the week and every day the guy has promised to pay, but ends up calling him up with another story about his bad luck, and getting more money out of him.

My grandfather suffers from various physical ailments which sometimes impair his ability to reason and remember things, and think rationally. He hasn't asked for the guy's full name, doesn't know where he lives, and has never seen any corroborating evidence for any of the stories the guy has told him. Of course my grandfather, perhaps hoping to store treasure in heaven, continues to believe every word, and loses hundreds of dollars every day.

So we filed a police report, but they said they can't do anything at all if he is giving the money voluntarily. So the question is... what kind of recourse do we have?

Should we get a PI to investigate the guy? Is there no legal remedy for this? Or do we have to get vigilante?... Any interesting ideas would be appreciated. It's pretty crucial for me to get this solved as soon as possible, and we are sort of worried about what this guy may be capable of.

posted by Redruin to law & government (18 comments total)

I don't think that there is any legal recourse for you to take towards the man who took the money as your grandfather gave it to him. Your best course of action may be to try to help your grandfather with his money. For example requiring two people to sign on withdrawls, giving him a "weekly allowance" etc. Depending on your grandfather this may just make him angry but I think that having someone look over what he is spending/giving money on would be a better long term solution.
posted by saradarlin at 9:31 PM on June 12

You can contact a wills/trusts/estates lawyer (i.e., a probate lawyer) who can discuss with you your options for using legal tools that would prevent your grandfather from losing all his money to this crook.

There are legal doctrines that allow one to recover funds paid as a result of the exercise of undue influence upon someone who is mentally infirm. I am not sure such doctrines would apply in a situation that is more arm's length like this one appears to be.
posted by jayder at 9:43 PM on June 12

That's what I'm afraid of. He does get very angry when anyone tries to take away his freedoms (he is more than a little scary on the road, but rages whenever someone mentions the idea of cutting back on the driving).

I know that we could exercise power of attorney and limit his access to funds, but it doesn't seem like he should have to change his life and suffer in order to get rid of this con man. And even if we manage to strangle my grandfather's ability to pay, what about the many other people this guy could go after?

I mean if there is no legal protection against this type of thing, then being a con man in this sense is just another legitimate (albeit unscrupulous) occupation?
posted by Redruin at 9:43 PM on June 12

If he's running into the guy at the hospital or on hospital property, maybe you should contact hospital security. Certainly they wouldn't be thrilled about a con artist bothering patients.

If he's calling your grandfather, can you have the phone number he's calling from blocked?
posted by MegoSteve at 9:44 PM on June 12 [4 favorites has favorites]

Something like this happened to the elderly mother of a friend. The friend got power of attorney and was able to take control of her mother's finances so that she didn't have access to much money, but that her bills were paid. I think conning an elderly man out of money also qualifies as elder abuse, so that is a legal avenue you can pursue as well.
posted by pluckysparrow at 9:50 PM on June 12

Hospital security is a good idea, especially if I could get a picture of the guy, but apparently they are now meeting at local stores like kmart instead, and today when we had a neighbor go with my grandfather to meet the guy he gave them the slip when he saw them together. We could probably get the number blocked with no problem, but again I don't feel right just "running away" from the situation, and my grandfather would most likely just call the guy himself anyway...
posted by Redruin at 9:54 PM on June 12

If you could get a picture of the con artist, you could go to the media with your story. That might flush more victims out and cause the police to take some action.

Have you sat down and had a serious discussion with your grandfather about this? Is he even capable of understanding what he's doing? Does he even keep track of how much he's given the con artist?

You say you don't want to limit your grandfather's freedom, but it sounds like you're going to have to. His mental faculties are impaired, so you have to make the choices for him. If your child insisted on crossing the street without looking or playing with matches, you wouldn't let him get away with it because you're afraid he might be upset, would you?
posted by MegoSteve at 10:01 PM on June 12

Follow your grandfather next time and take the con's picture in a very obvious way. Don't actually accompany him, just arrive there just after your grandfather does. If the guy doesn't run away, ask him his name. Then follow him and get his license number, address, etc. Basically, you want the guy to know you're on his case and to scare him off.
posted by rhizome at 10:03 PM on June 12 [6 favorites has favorites]

Follow your grandfather next time and take the con's picture in a very obvious way. Don't actually accompany him, just arrive there just after your grandfather does. If the guy doesn't run away, ask him his name. Then follow him and get his license number, address, etc. Basically, you want the guy to know you're on his case and to scare him off.

I'd do something like the above.

And, since you'll need to hide from your grandfather, this could be a lot of fun in the covert operations department. Practice your tradecraft.
posted by Netzapper at 10:19 PM on June 12

If you live in a major metropolitan area your police department may have a special unit that deals with exactly this type of crime as elder exploitation is very, very common. The Philly PD has a rep that deals specifically with elder crimes, you might want to get back in touch with them and ask about it as a responding patrol officer might not even know about it. Also, your local Department for the Aging/Elder Services (every county has one) will have an elder abuse unit that also handles these kinds of crimes. There is a ton of literature out there about financial abuse of the elderly, again, this is unfortunately so common. You should take a look at the National Center on Elder Abuse website, probably a decent place to start.
posted by The Straightener at 5:05 AM on June 13

2nding following or having someone follow or accompanying your grandfather. Make sure you are seen, make sure this guy knows why you are there... If it happens often enough this guy will move on to the next easy (easier) mark.
posted by Gungho at 6:03 AM on June 13

He's still driving?
Please be sure his physician knows he is still driving.
posted by hexatron at 6:16 AM on June 13 [4 favorites has favorites]

If I were you, I'd try to approach this from a different angle because I doubt you'll get very far in terms of stopping this con artist (if the police can't do anything and your grandfather is willingly giving him money--it'd be a different matter if he were, say, accessing your grandfather's bank accounts). Instead, I wonder if you could look at it from your grandfather's perspective: this new person has come into his life with emotionally compelling stories to tell ("...and then my foot fell off, so now I need to buy a new foot... got any cash?" is more interesting than what's on TV or who won the bridge game in the activity room at the retirement home). This person also gives your grandfather a chance to do some "good" for someone, even in his old age.

To what extent are members of your family in regular contact with your grandfather? I think it should be at least as frequent, if not more so than this con artist. Your grandfather may be bored--he may even know, on some level, that he's being taken for a ride--which makes him susceptible to scammers who ply him with conversation and company.

Additionally, is there a way you could set up a volunteer opportunity, formal or informal, for your grandfather? My grandfather enjoyed tutoring kids at an elementary school and driving "Meals on Wheels" when he was widowed. If your grandfather wants to do good works, don't just tell him "Don't give money to that guy, it's a scam"--provide him with an alternative.
posted by Meg_Murry at 6:41 AM on June 13 [2 favorites has favorites]

(he is more than a little scary on the road, but rages whenever someone mentions the idea of cutting back on the driving).

This to me is more of a concern than some jerk bilking him of cash. Being broke isn't going to hurt other people, him careening around the neighborhood is.

If his faculties are impaired, which they obviously are, he should not be behind the wheel of a car. Since he's resistant to stopping driving, either you have to steal his keys or disable the vehicle somehow.

Removing his transportation leaves him at home where he can be supervised. Can your family get together and each take a day to stay with him and if the scammer happens to show up, call the cops? Even if the con itself isn't technically illegal, trespassing might be.
posted by crankylex at 8:12 AM on June 13 [5 favorites has favorites]

Thirding crankylex and hexatron.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 9:42 AM on June 13

He has the right to give money to a sketchy stranger, and the sketchy stranger is well aware. It might be illegal for the creep to lie to him to get money; sounds like fraud to me, but IANAL. Absolutely talk to the hospital so the guy doesn't tap more people's grandparents. Somebody in the family should put some serious effort into finding the guy and threatening him with prosecution for fraud. Grandpa needs somebody to stand up to his bullying, and a loving but firm talk about money, driving and adapting to the realities of age. If no one talks to him, he'll continue to make bad decisions.
posted by theora55 at 11:36 AM on June 13

Thanks guys, some good ideas in here. An update on the situation is: We called a friend of the family who is in law enforcement, and he was able to convince my grandfather to completely cut off contact with the guy. We are also working with some store managers to obtain evidence from their surveillance cameras, which we could possibly use to help the hospital and others keep an eye out for him.

@Hexatron: His physician knows that he's driving, as he drives himself 60 miles to see him; and really, he never gets into any accidents or even scrapes the car on anything. He used to fly small aircraft a lot, so I think he unconsciously integrates a little too much of that into it. In any case we have considered taking the keys before, and it may be necessary soon.

@Meg_Murry: The thing is, he's not a lonely or needy guy. This is completely out of left field for him. I think it has been hard for him to admit that he's being conned; and since the guy was going for relatively small amounts (although frequently) it never broke his suspicion threshold (especially since he would forget a bunch of the payments he had already given him). The family is in pretty regular contact with him. I personally see him every other week or so, and sit down for a several hour chat; and he has church friends and neighbors who he sees every day, so he is not wanting for good company. Thanks for the good ideas, but for him it's a different situation. Apparently it's a particularly good con man.

@crankylex: Apparently his doctor still thinks he's ok to drive somehow, though we might take it up with him soon. We have someone staying with him at the moment, and have been advised about telling him not to come over or call, and if he continues, the likelihood of criminal charges, etc. start to build.

@theora55: Yes, we have recently learned more about the possibility of legal defenses like elder abuse (financial, through exercise of undue influence like jayder said) and possibly fraud, but we have been advised for now to just break off contact, while continuing to investigate. As far as making bad decisions goes, that's a long long and (so far) fruitless talk, but one which I myself will continue to have with him.
posted by Redruin at 10:09 PM on June 13

Sorry for the profuse and most likely confusing overuse of pronouns. Oh English...
posted by Redruin at 10:13 PM on June 13