Dom in bed, sub in life
June 9, 2009 12:32 PM Subscribe
Dominant in bed, submissive in life - how to get over feeling like a weirdo?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (11 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
In the exact reverse of the question asked earlier today, I am wondering about dealing with the guilt I feel about the disconnect between my daily personality and my actions in bed. I am very easy going, friendly, and solicitous towards everyone, especially partners, but sexually I am only interested in rough sex where I am the supplier of pain and various domination scenarios (nothing extreme or damaging and not overly complicated bondage, just exertions of power and mild humiliation).
I never really made the connection between my out-of-bed and in-bed personae before...but recently it has begun to worry me. Am I taking out frustrations with being nice and sweet and adept at social niceties and following rules on my partners? I know that is more of a question for my therapist, so instead I will ask restate what the last person asked:
"I was just wondering if anyone else has dealt with this particular issue and how they reconciled these conflicting attitudes in their minds. I just want to stop feeling like there is something "wrong" and just be able to pursue all my goals without feeling like a (sniveling revenge-taking creep)."
I don't think it matters to answer this question, but I am a male. Thanks!