Booty call..where/ how to

May 28, 2009 9:57 AM

If I booty call/txt a guy (i'm a girl) should it be expected of me to show up to his place or should I ask him to pick me up?

If I booty call/txt a guy (i'm female, in my 20s) should it be expected of me to show up to his place or should I ask him to pick me up? Background info... I live with my parents, so he can't come over and he lives 45 minutes away. I could drive out there at night, but i'm a bit chicken. Other question for females (ages 18-30) who live with your parents... how do get your casual sex in? Do you get picked up, do you go to the guy's place, where and how do you sneak off to at night when you want to get laid? Do you let friends know where you are?

posted by anonymous to human relations (11 comments total)

I could drive out there at night, but i'm a bit chicken.

Not a girl, but I'm wondering whether, once you were there, you'd prefer to have your own car so you can leave when you please...?
posted by jon1270 at 10:00 AM on May 28 [9 favorites]

It can be any way you want to arrange it, just be clear. Most guys would make the drive.
posted by InfidelZombie at 10:03 AM on May 28 [2 favorites]

You should show up at his place. When you do, bring beer and some chicken wings. :)

Ok, wings are optional...

Actually, I think that you should just communicate with the person and figure out what's easiest for both of you. Since he is the one that's farther away and you're initiating it, you should go to his place. Also, you're the one that can't host. In this particular case, you should be the one going to wherever he is.
posted by drstein at 10:08 AM on May 28 [1 favorite]

I could drive out there at night, but i'm a bit chicken.

What? This is silly. The fact that you're driving out there for sex makes it no different than any other driving-at-night situation. In which case, if you drive safely, only drive while fully awake and sober, and carry a cell-phone with you, should be fine. jon1270 is absolutely right--having your car there makes the situation more secure, because you can leave when you want.

If you're in your twenties, I would certainly hope that you don't have a "curfew" or anything like that and you can tell your parents that you're going out for a few hours/overnight/whatever. Tell them you're going to a friend's house (and give them a number where you can be reached in case of an emergency, even if it's just your cell phone number). It's unfair to make people worry if they need you for whatever reason and you're nowhere to be found.

When I lived at home, I always told my mother when I would be out. I didn't want her to freak out when I didn't come home after work, or whatever. No sneaking needed.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 10:30 AM on May 28 [2 favorites]

You should take your own car, so you can be in charge of staying or leaving.
posted by anastasiav at 10:33 AM on May 28 [1 favorite]

Ok, I've been cruising AskMeFi for about a month now and just registered specifically to answer your question. I am a 24 year old female and was just able to move out of my parent's house a little over a year ago.

I have felt your pain.

As far as whether you should drive or the guy should pick you up, thats between you and the fine young stud, but I personally always drove myself because as jon1270 said it's nice to leave when you want to. I always kept a backpack with a change of clothes (work appropriate) in the car incase I stayed the night at the stud's house. Because parents are usually not cool with their daughters leaving the house to get some action, I would tell them I was going to my girl friend's house and that I might stay the night if i were too tired to drive home or if we had some wine or something. My parents weren't enthusiastic about this, but they allowed it because its a safer choice than getting home no matter what at some godawful late hour. I always then told my girl friend that I was going to the stud's house so that if something really did happen (like a car accident) if my parents called my friend she could tell them where I really was.

I know lying to your parents is horrible, but sometimes I found it necessary because my parents did not recognize that I was a full grown adult, albeit living in their house, and thus had the rights to booty call if I want to.

I usually got my nookie in by going to stud's house, but if your stud also lives at home you could try the following locations: car, wooded area, or a sunroom if either house has one (they somehow dont transmit as much noise to the rest of the house as other rooms). Be young, have fun, but also be safe.
posted by WeekendJen at 10:42 AM on May 28 [1 favorite]

Motels that cater to business travelers (like the Fairfield Inn) usually have discounted rates on the weekends, so you and the guy can splurge and split the cost of a room once in a while.
posted by Oriole Adams at 11:31 AM on May 28

Having had a hookup who lived about 35-40 minutes away and *didn't* drive, yes, I was willing to pick her up, bring her back to my place, and roundtrip, though she usually got dropped off at a closer point to make it a bit easier.

Just communicate. Offer to drive, though; it makes more sense. Otherwise, it's two round trips for the guy.
posted by disillusioned at 11:51 AM on May 28

Having been in your guy's position, I would be pleased to pick-up my lady friend. It is the gentlemanly thing to do.
posted by strangelove at 7:59 AM on May 29

Agreed.

If you're doing all the work, you're in a very uneven relationship.
posted by Rash at 1:32 PM on May 29

I'd drive myself to his place because I'd like the option of leaving when I want, it was my idea, I can't host, and I couldn't reasonably expect someone to drive 90 minutes each way/three hours in total to come pick me up, when it would only take me 90 minutes in total. If it was only a 10-15 minute drive, I would probably drive myself, but it's a bit more reasonable to ask someone for a ride. By the way, I am differentiating between boyfriend and booty call. A boyfriend is a different story, but I'd probably drive myself most of the time anyways because of the long drive. Oh, and I live with my Mom, so I understand the situation you're in. It's tricky, but I think it's easier to say you're going out & might stay over your girlfriend's house than revealing you're off to get some action.
posted by katemcd at 3:12 PM on May 30