Is it really my child?
May 28, 2009 8:16 AM Subscribe
I don't know if it's really my kid. It's our second and I see myself in our first, emphatically, but the second one, I don't recognize myself in at all.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (72 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
The second one is four now and I thought I would have the gut feeling I had with the first - 'this is my child' - at some later point, but I haven't. I've tried to ignore it because how do you address a problem like this with your spouse? And there's no glaring, obvious dissimilarity.
When we found out we were pregnant the second time, there was a tremendous amount of anxiety on her part - though things were, I thought, going well and the first pregnancy had been good, and we were agreed we wanted a second child. She accounted for it by labeling it as plain old anxiety/uncertainty and I accepted it as such. But it has stuck in my mind.
How much does it matter anyway if it is mine or not? If I can love it, which I am trying to do?
It's the doubt, periodically, that I don't know how to manage. It can be overwhelming and is hampering our relationship. What should I do?