I didn't defend my wife...what should I do different the next time?
May 27, 2009 11:56 AM Subscribe
I think I put myself in a compromising position that I think I could have handled differently. New acquaintances came to me privately to essentially say that my wife was very rude to them. I was a tad astonished at their directness, but essentially nodded knowingly. I was there when the *rudeness* happened and said nothing. My wife loves this couple and is trying to make further plans with them which I know will go unanswered. I can't tell my wife why they're not calling back because I did not defend her. What should I have said to this couple when they came to me?
posted by teg4rvn to Human Relations (51 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
My wife is very opinionated and has a hard time when others disagree with her. On multiple occasions over the course of a weekend house share together, some disagreements came up. My wife usually responds to such disagreements by raising her voice and emphatically saying, "No! You're wrong!" (or something like that) and generally laces her rebuttal with eye-rolling, knee slapping, and simply utter contempt at the other person's position. Most people who know her and love her have simply just avoided conflict with her or just have learned to back down. I mentioned this once to her long ago and she feels that people are intimidated by a headstrong woman and she doesn't want to be the meek, irrelevant woman of yesteryear. A man who acts as she does would be considered in a positive light, according to her, apparently.
Could I have handled this differently? Should I have played dumb and defended my wife when they came to me?