How to communicate with a loved one
May 23, 2009 6:50 AM Subscribe
Is there any reason why some people don't like to be "put on the spot" to answer questions?
posted by CollectiveMind to human relations (60 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
If it's true that everyone has their own way of communicating, mine is to ask questions. To me, it helps me learn something I didn't know, or solve a problem by asking questions that help me get to its root. But there are a couple people I know that say questions make them feel like they're being forced into an answer. They prefer statements of preference, since they say, statements make others to talk about themselves and their own feelings rather than trying to pull something out of someone else. They say I should ponder their statements and parce their truth from those statements rather than asking direct questions of them that they say make them feel anything from disrespected to attacked. I care about these people, so I'm not trying to make communication difficult, or sabotage it. But I don't see how an exchange of statements, and parcing truth from time spent "pondering" them improves or progresses communication or a relationship. Sometimes, I get frustrated because it feels like they're just dodging what I'm trying to understand, as if they're giving what they want but only on their own terms. But I want to give them the benefit of the doubt, so, I want to know is this common and what can I do to be better at interacting with these folks?