The Art of Giving... Art

May 21, 2009 8:50 AM

I made a drawing. I want to give it to my parents. How do I tell them it's okay if they don't hang it on their fridge?

I'm 30 years old and, for some reason, I decided to draw my parents' dog. The drawing turned out well, and I want to give it to them.

I want them to feel free to do whatever they want with the drawing, including using it to light their grill, if that's their choice. However, it seems that if you give someone a work of art, they might feel that they owe it to the artist to hang the art somewhere. How do I tell my parents (or anybody that I give a drawing to in the future) that it's just a gift, not an imposition?

posted by baxter_ilion to human relations (12 comments total)

It's part of the express contract of a gift that the receiver can do whatever they want with it. I would just give it to them and not worry about it.

After all, if they DO hang it up on display, it's entirely possible that they're not doing so because they feel obligated -- but rather, because they just really like it.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:55 AM on May 21 [3 favorites]

"Hey, I want you to have this drawing I made, do with it what you will."

Then stop thinking about it. You've said your piece, now let it go.

Note: I have struggled for years to keep a Post-it note my kid wrote "Hi!" on. They're parents, they'll treasure stuff like this.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:56 AM on May 21 [2 favorites]

It would probably help if you don't make a big deal of presenting it to them. Just be like, "Oh, hey, I made this drawing of Sparky" and leave it on the kitchen counter. If they don't feel like you're expecting accolades and a lighted, laser-secured display, they probably won't feel the need to display it. But just like Empress said, they might want to display it anyway. I know every time someone gives me some artwork, *I* want to hang it up. And they aren't even my kids.
posted by katillathehun at 9:02 AM on May 21 [1 favorite]

Depending on your personality, and your parents', give it to them with a cheesy hand written poem, along the lines of:

Just for you, I drew your dog
On the wall to look agog
Or as kindling for a log
Or filed in a catalog
With love to you from your pollywog

YMMV.
posted by kch at 9:15 AM on May 21 [24 favorites]

Surely the incredibly obvious answer to this is to have it framed.
posted by rhymer at 10:24 AM on May 21 [1 favorite]

Quoted for truth "It's part of the express contract of a gift that the receiver can do whatever they want with it. " Well said. Your parents are likely to be very pleased.
posted by theora55 at 11:41 AM on May 21

Having it framed would encourage display, yes?
posted by deadcrow at 11:42 AM on May 21

Just for you, I drew your dog
On the wall to look agog
Or as kindling for a log
Or filed in a catalog
With love to you from your pollywog

YMMV.

That poem is awesome. The last line made me tear up, just a little.

Anyhoo.

Framing it is an excellent fridgeproofing. If you're really paranoid, you could always get them a book of dog-related poems or sayings and stick it in the front. Or even one of those old sk0ol leather frames, that fold open like a passport. Or get a print shop to make it up as a card, or a mug, or a mousemat or somesuch.
posted by Jilder at 12:48 PM on May 21

If your relationship with your parents is even moderately normal, and the drawing is not some sort of gag gift, there is NO WAY that you can get them to not hang it. From their point of view, it is something that: (a) their child created; (b) pleased that child; and (b) their child thought to share it with them. Its hard to imagine what would offset that enough it keep it of the fridge. It doesn't make any difference that your 30. So, forget about even trying. Give it to them and let them do what hey want with it.
posted by rtimmel at 12:59 PM on May 21

I guess I used fridge-hanging as a metaphor for displaying the drawing in general. I don't mind if they do (I would be thrilled in fact), and I don't mind if they don't hang it anywhere in their house.

I guess that I should stop worrying and just give them the damn drawing without making a fuss. Sorry to splash my neuroses over AskMeFi :)

And awesome poem kch! That is a fun way to give someone... anything.
posted by baxter_ilion at 1:05 PM on May 21

Thanks (blush), I wrote it on a lark. It was inspired by a totally different AskMe thread (about what to give as a wedding present to someone you don't know), from which I gave my mom a donation of a goat through Heifer international for Mother's day, with the inscription 'From a kid to her mother goat, what better gift than a goat to another mother'. She loved it! Odd humour for gifts seem to go over well with some folks.
posted by kch at 2:14 PM on May 21

@ Brandon Blatcher:
"Note: I have struggled for years to keep a Post-it note my kid wrote "Hi!" on. They're parents, they'll treasure stuff like this."

That made me smile pretty hard. Which kinda sucks cause I just got a filling today and my mouth hurts. Can't wait til my son starts giving me things.
posted by toekneebullard at 2:44 PM on May 21