Should I date my optometrist?
November 28, 2004 7:46 PM Subscribe
What would be the ethical issues surrounding dating one's optometrist? I realize that dating one's doctor would be against their professional practice codes but an optometrist seems like a less clear case. The O.D. Ethics guide does not address the question at all. I can't easily change optometrists as I live in a small city and she is the only one qualified to fit lenses for my rare corneal disease - I need new lenses every six months or so.
'Love is blind.'
Pun intended, and sure as hell, the saying is relevant in this situation.
I can't think of any immediate concerns that would cause contention or conflict of interest. Now, if things get serious and you guys have a rather un-amicable separation, that may cause concern since the individual in question happens to be the most convenient source for your prescription.
Other than that, I say go for it.
I think there's an ethical dilemma with doctors and other similar practitioners because their status with you as a patient gives them some power- but in my eyes, it's different when you take the 'traditional' route and ask a doctor out OUTSIDE of the practice. In that context, I think anything goes!
On Preview: (say no more, say no more!)
posted by id at 8:05 PM on November 28, 2004
Pun intended, and sure as hell, the saying is relevant in this situation.
I can't think of any immediate concerns that would cause contention or conflict of interest. Now, if things get serious and you guys have a rather un-amicable separation, that may cause concern since the individual in question happens to be the most convenient source for your prescription.
Other than that, I say go for it.
I think there's an ethical dilemma with doctors and other similar practitioners because their status with you as a patient gives them some power- but in my eyes, it's different when you take the 'traditional' route and ask a doctor out OUTSIDE of the practice. In that context, I think anything goes!
On Preview: (say no more, say no more!)
posted by id at 8:05 PM on November 28, 2004
"I can't easily change optometrists as I live in a small city and she is the only one qualified to fit lenses for my rare corneal disease - I need new lenses every six months or so."
I would say you sort of answered your own question. What happens if the date goes badly? What happens if you break up? Then you've got no optometrist and no options for dealing with your rare corneal disease.
I hope this bit doesn't sound rude; I don't mean it that way: I'm curious as to what makes you think your optometrist would be interested in dating you; I'd say one reason for the ethical guidelines is that it's hard for people to separate a doctor's professional politeness and interest from what could be a romantic interest. See also: bartenders.
posted by bcwinters at 8:06 PM on November 28, 2004
I would say you sort of answered your own question. What happens if the date goes badly? What happens if you break up? Then you've got no optometrist and no options for dealing with your rare corneal disease.
I hope this bit doesn't sound rude; I don't mean it that way: I'm curious as to what makes you think your optometrist would be interested in dating you; I'd say one reason for the ethical guidelines is that it's hard for people to separate a doctor's professional politeness and interest from what could be a romantic interest. See also: bartenders.
posted by bcwinters at 8:06 PM on November 28, 2004
Optometrists: Optometrists have received a doctor of optometry (OD) degree. Some optometrists complete residencies. They are thus doctors, and are licensed to detect, treat, manage, and refer cases of eye disease.
That being said, even if there's nothing in the OD Ethics guide about doctor-patient dating, it would seem that the rules should be the same. Would there really be that much of a difference if said doctor was an ophthalmologist performing laser surgery on you every six months?
Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with dating one's health care provider outside of the context of the practice, as id said.... Your call.
posted by greatgefilte at 8:07 PM on November 28, 2004
That being said, even if there's nothing in the OD Ethics guide about doctor-patient dating, it would seem that the rules should be the same. Would there really be that much of a difference if said doctor was an ophthalmologist performing laser surgery on you every six months?
Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with dating one's health care provider outside of the context of the practice, as id said.... Your call.
posted by greatgefilte at 8:07 PM on November 28, 2004
>it's hard for people to separate a doctor's professional politeness and interest from what could be a romantic interest.
The physical proximity, too. There's also the issue that they know much more about you than you about them.
>I live in a small city and she is the only one qualified to fit lenses
How close is the next town with someone of equal qualification? If you can get to someone else easily enough - as a contingency plan - that might help your decision.
(disclaimer: eye glasses, never lived in a small city)
posted by philfromhavelock at 8:43 PM on November 28, 2004
The physical proximity, too. There's also the issue that they know much more about you than you about them.
>I live in a small city and she is the only one qualified to fit lenses
How close is the next town with someone of equal qualification? If you can get to someone else easily enough - as a contingency plan - that might help your decision.
(disclaimer: eye glasses, never lived in a small city)
posted by philfromhavelock at 8:43 PM on November 28, 2004
(nudge nudge wink wink)
Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Say no more! Say no more!
/python
Go for it. Love triumphs ethics. It's not a big deal (as I see it). What if your SO was an optometrist somewhere else? Would you have qualms about switching over to him/her for lenses?
The only "ethics" issue I would see is acting on your urges in the doctor's office. As long as you are there, it's for lenses. Keep the "relationship" outside of that office, in other words.
posted by BradNelson at 9:18 PM on November 28, 2004
Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Say no more! Say no more!
/python
Go for it. Love triumphs ethics. It's not a big deal (as I see it). What if your SO was an optometrist somewhere else? Would you have qualms about switching over to him/her for lenses?
The only "ethics" issue I would see is acting on your urges in the doctor's office. As long as you are there, it's for lenses. Keep the "relationship" outside of that office, in other words.
posted by BradNelson at 9:18 PM on November 28, 2004
Just want to second what bcwinters said. Many relationships ultimately don't work out. If that happens to you here, and you really need this guy, you're going to be in a tough situation.
I once dated a guy I worked with and saw around the office almost every day. After we broke up, seeing him around was a constant reminder of our relationship failure, and until I felt better about things (i.e., turned self into a babe) it sucked. Last thing I would have wanted would have been to need this guy for something or to have to ask for his kindness. Think carefully about how you would deal with the fallout before you jump into this.
posted by onlyconnect at 9:20 PM on November 28, 2004
I once dated a guy I worked with and saw around the office almost every day. After we broke up, seeing him around was a constant reminder of our relationship failure, and until I felt better about things (i.e., turned self into a babe) it sucked. Last thing I would have wanted would have been to need this guy for something or to have to ask for his kindness. Think carefully about how you would deal with the fallout before you jump into this.
posted by onlyconnect at 9:20 PM on November 28, 2004
I don't see any "ethical issues surrounding with dating one's optometrist." In fact, it sounds kind of cute! However, there may be ethical problems with one's optometrist dating a patient.
posted by majick at 9:28 PM on November 28, 2004
posted by majick at 9:28 PM on November 28, 2004
« Older I'm looking for a new CRT monitor: 19-22", high... | good wireless headphones to buy Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
I don't see a problem with it.
posted by zelphi at 8:03 PM on November 28, 2004