I need direction and some more motivation in my life.

May 10, 2009 10:09 PM

I am getting extremely anxious about applying to colleges as a transfer student and I need advice on how to deal with it.

I have been having a really tough time trying to figure out where to transfer too. It is dependent on my grades and I don't think anyone would find me interesting enough to accept me. I was a B average student in H.S and my parents never encouraged me to go to college directly after high school. I was sort of forced into getting into community college. Technically I did not flourish as much as I wanted. My work ethic is strong but my motivation is weak. I have a lot of B-'s, very few A's and a couple C's in community college. I hated the place the moment I started and my main goal was to get out of there so I was socially isolating myself from the rest of the student population and it turn it killed my grades because I felt so lonely and overworked. I thought that was the formula to get out of CC and into a university somewhere. Boy, was I wrong.

I had a dream of getting into the honor society but my GPA never got higher than a 3.2. I feel I am forced to stick with a instate school when I really wanted to go out of state. My goal is just to get out of this town and branch out. My brother is telling me to seriously consider this school that my parents have attended in a city that is only 30 minutes away! Why would I do such a thing? I really have no idea about my motivations on going on to college is. The only thing that seems to keep me going is moving out.

I feel that my grades don't even represent me. I feel that my immediate family is caring more that I get into a "good" college rather then care about what I want to do right this minute. i have seriously considered a year gap but decided not too because I have no resources to do such a thing and I would not be supported. I am hating college the more I am forced to get into it....

I know the realities of getting a degree is better than working in low wage jobs. I know why it is important to go but I am burnt out to the core. My only other saver is to consider taking the SAT and I don't even want to that even though most of the best colleges require it. I just don't want to apply ANYWHERE.

Taking time off is just never the right answer because I will just lose everything I have learned and it will make it harder to go back. I feel like I am being compared to my brother who got into really great schools.....

What should I seriously be considering now?

posted by mind2body to education (10 answers total)

When I was applying to transfer from one college to another, my advisor encouraged me to focus on where I wanted to go, and not what I wanted to get away from. I would imagine that a decent amount of school transfers are motivated at least in part by "I have got to get out of this place or I'm going to die", but admission departments are going to want to see that you have more motivating you than just utter despair. Where do you want to go? And what do you hope to accomplish at a new school that you didn't accomplish at your current one? You need to figure that out.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:22 PM on May 10, 2009 [1 favorite]

Community colleges have advisors for this sort of thing. Ask them. They're helpful. If they're not, ask a favorite professor. Just get some insider help.

take the SAT and the ACT. I did SIGNIFICANTLY better on one than the other. if it's really that bad, just don't send in the scores.

If you're not sure what you want to get out of college, apply to your state schools that have a broad variety of majors. (things with "Tech" or "University of (your state here)" tend to have engineering-ish majors and liberal arts majors respectively.) Smaller colleges might feel a little restricting if you don't go in knowing what you want to do. That said, i LOVE my small college (William & Mary) so much more than the large university (University of Alabama) from which i transferred, and i have no idea what i want to do with my life.

Write an essay even if they don't ask for one. just give them a writing sample. Take time to have it proofread by one of your favorite professors. make it slightly humorous, very candid, and make it express something unique about you.

DO AN INTERVIEW! you'll be scared out of your wits, but it will prove how badly you want to go to xyz college. If they don't offer interviews, ask for one.

Don't let bad grades stop you from applying to a good school. You never know until you try!

I've transferred twice with a sub-3.0 GPA and got into one of the best colleges in the country (William & Mary) with an academic scholarship. It's doable.

Don't fret it. get your stuff in on time and make a few follow-up phone calls with the admissions folks. you'll do fine.
posted by cmchap at 10:39 PM on May 10, 2009

I feel a little uncomfortable saying this based on relatively little information about you, but it honestly sounds like you should not be in school right now. Getting a degree is not better than working a low wage job if you have no motivation and will be going into debt to get said degree. You didn't even mention what discipline you want to study -- college is not for you, not right now.

In terms of finding the resources to take a gap year (rather, gap 'time'), many people support themselves on wages from jobs that they obtained based on even less education than you have right now. It's not easy, but it's not impossible.
posted by telegraph at 11:01 PM on May 10, 2009

Breathe.

I suggest you take a different approach than you are now. I suggest you find a way to deal with your anxiety. Once you do, it will be easier to make these sorts of judgment calls.

I suggest therapy.
posted by Ironmouth at 11:41 PM on May 10, 2009

Oh, man... there are a ton of jobs that don't require a four-year degree but only require, variously, somewhere between a multi-week training course, an apprenticeship, and a two-year associates. They pay a living wage for a single person and contribute positively and visibly to society: first responders (medical and fire, of all stripes), secretarial services, nursing, erotic services (both legal and otherwise), computer programming (very self-teaching friendly if you've got the knack and motivation), massage therapy, audio engineering, carpentry, plumbing, auto mechanics (training for this is actually kind of expensive), farming (small grazing livestock's easier than crops; you need land), marijuana cultivation and distribution (move to CA or Holland), the clergy (some faiths), stage magic...

Or, if you really do want to go to school, don't let your grades stop you from applying. First, your grades don't sound terrible. But chiefly, transferring, especially to an in-state school, is much easier than applying fresh from high school--this is even true for the huge prestigious schools. I believe the reason is economic. As their freshmen drop out, they have spaces to fill in the mid to upper-level classes. You get to skip freshmen and some sophomore classes as a transfer student. Transfer students fill cash holes.

Likewise, if you want to go to a state school out of state, and need the price cut, you can simply become a resident of that state. Move to the state of your choosing. Get a pad somewhere cheap, maybe rural. Get a job that pays the bills. Wait a year. Or whatever the residency requirement is for your school of choice. Then apply. You may find that you like your life and are content even before you apply--if you're self-sufficient, mission accomplished.

I recommend my semi-local University of Washington in Seattle, which comes up in the top five for most every PhD program my wife and I search for. And I know their undergrad is stellar as well. Seattle is a really cool city, and appears to have plenty of jobs if you're adaptable. Or, if you'd like it more rural, you can come over to Kitsap. Minimum hourly wage in all of Washington is $8 and some change... if you've got full-time work at minimum wage, that goes a long way out here in the boonies--you'd need a roommate in the city.
posted by Netzapper at 1:21 AM on May 11, 2009

Is your family helping you finance your education?
No? Then it does not matter what they think of your college. Also, there is probably a state school that you could get into that is not near your house at all.

As for retaining information should you take time off, I do not see that as an issue. I took a semester off in the middle of my undergrad, then transferred, and it was fine. The skills necessary for school I either had to start and still had when I came back or just never had. The first paper when I returned took a tiny bit longer than it should have and I had to get used to making time to read the news thoroughly again but that was it. The specific information you learned in your freshman English class is all stuff you can look up. You don't need to remember it.

What I'm getting from your post is that you like the idea of working hard in college and succeeding but somewhere there's a disconnect with your motivation and methods. Your GPA seems representative of that situation and unless your professors are wildly unfair graders, your grades are representative of you.

If you truly are "burnt out to the core," then do NOT go back to school right now. You're making yourself miserable and your misery brings everyone who deals with you down. You do not need a college degree. I would suggest figuring out what you do want and then, if you come up with a long-term goal that requires a diploma, go back and get one.

From one sibling with a super-smart brother to another, this is not high school and yes, your parents are comparing you. Whining will get you nowhere. If you really want to impress the hell out of your family, go get a job doing something you love and live self-sufficiently off that. When/if you're ready to go to college someday, do it on your own terms.

(also, everything Netzapper said)
posted by thewestinggame at 5:54 AM on May 11, 2009

My recommendation is for you to not go to college, at least right now.

Your question today is similar to the one you had a month ago. My take on it, and I mean this kindly, is that you are not ready for college.

When I was your exactly your age, I also was not ready for college. I would have vehemently denied it, but I just wasn't mature enough at that time. My parents were paying for school, and had always insisted that going to college was very important, but I was not doing well. My grades were not great, I felt like I had no direction, and the few plans I had fell through dramatically. So, I withdrew from school, got a job and a little apartment, and I worked.

My parents were disappointed.

I had crappy jobs. I made little money. My apartment was dumpy. Most people would say that it was a wrong turn in my life. But I learned more about myself than I would have learned in school, and it gave me tremendous discipline and desire.

When I returned to school, I took classes in the evenings while continuing to work during the day and support myself. I didn't take out school loans, but paid everything in cash, which meant I was quite poor. Again, many people would say this was a wrong turn. But I succeeded, graduated with honors, and entered the "professional" (that is, degree-holding) workforce with goals, ambition, and an ability to work hard.

The answer for me wasn't a gap year, or traveling, or career counseling, or suffering an existential angst. It was working, hard and for low wages.

It has not been easy, but I've been successful. It just took me a little longer than some people to gain the maturity that I needed to do well. I think this might be true for you, too.
posted by Houstonian at 7:50 AM on May 11, 2009 [1 favorite]

So you have an AA and you don't want to go to colleges near your home but you also don't want to take the SAT?

What about "taking a gap year" by not going to college for a year. I assume you lived at home for the past two years--make it one more and work somewhere. You'll have time to take the SAT and really research where you want to go. I would also more closely examine why you don't want to go to an in-state school. It might be a good, cheaper option for you.


"I had a dream of getting into the honor society but my GPA never got higher than a 3.2. I feel I am forced to stick with a instate school when I really wanted to go out of state. My goal is just to get out of this town and branch out."

There are schools for every level of achievement in almost any state. I'm sure you can find many that fit your GPA and SAT scores in many different states.


"My only other saver is to consider taking the SAT and I don't even want to that even though most of the best colleges require it. I just don't want to apply ANYWHERE."

Umm, why don't you want to take the SAT? I wouldn't characterize colleges that require it as "the best," I would call them "most colleges you want to go to." You need to take the SAT if you want to go to college.
posted by lockestockbarrel at 8:10 AM on May 11, 2009

Umm, why don't you want to take the SAT? I wouldn't characterize colleges that require it as "the best," I would call them "most colleges you want to go to." You need to take the SAT if you want to go to college.

If the OP is from the midwest, most colleges require the ACT. The SAT is typically needed for east and west coast schools.
posted by Netzapper at 12:18 PM on May 11, 2009

If you really don't want to apply anywhere, which is the feeling I get from the gist of your post, it might be better to take some time off and find a job. If you're feeling burnt out, it's likely that even if you apply, get accepted, and attend a four-year college, you'll still be stuck in "burn-out" mode and do just as you did in community college. Perhaps if you find a job now, you'll get more motivation to attend and really work while at college.

It seems like most of your motivation to apply colleges comes from your parents, but instead of focusing on what your parents will think of you if you don't do what they prefer, you should probably focus on what will help you the most. Their feelings will change accordingly after you've got somewhere.

Also, if you're set on applying, taking the ACT and/or SAT will probably make up for your GPA. At least it did in my case.
posted by movicont at 6:03 PM on May 11, 2009