Shoulda, woulda, coulda?
May 10, 2009 8:53 AM   Subscribe

If you could, and assuming you would, go back in time with the sole purpose of sharing one piece of relationship wisdom with your past self, what would it be?

I would love to hear which lessons have served you most well, in especially romantic, but also platonic and familial relationships. Anecdotes, one liners, and quips are all appreciated.

Thanks MeFi :)
posted by DeltaForce to Human Relations (20 answers total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: This is kinda chicken soup for the chatfilter, here. -- cortex

 
Floss.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:55 AM on May 10, 2009


More seriously: take risks, but only with your own heart and not other people's.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:57 AM on May 10, 2009


Notice what you have.
posted by rokusan at 9:03 AM on May 10, 2009


Listen to your head as well as your heart.
posted by The Deej at 9:07 AM on May 10, 2009


Know when to say when.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 9:11 AM on May 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Never trust a junkie. Ever.
posted by philip-random at 9:12 AM on May 10, 2009


Excuse me for recycling an old answer:
Dear younger self,

Here is a list of names with dates and times along with notations when you could have gotten laid but you fucked it up because a.) you were playing the "nice guy," b.) you got too drunk and passed out, or c.) you totally missed a cue, like that time whatshername, the cute one with that Volkswagen, insisted you come back to her place and instead of hooking up, you tried to be gentlemanly and get to know her first. Idiot!
posted by wfrgms at 9:14 AM on May 10, 2009 [2 favorites]


Understand what other people expect in a relationship, and know that when it's significantly different from what you expect, that can lead to a lot of pain -- especially for them.
posted by amtho at 9:14 AM on May 10, 2009


Leap.
posted by rokusan at 9:16 AM on May 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Let stuff go (both physical stuff and mental stuff). Life is too short to be petty or hold a grudge.
posted by ephemerista at 9:17 AM on May 10, 2009


Listen more, talk less.
posted by bytemover at 9:19 AM on May 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Don't date coworkers.
posted by Gunner's Mate 1st Class Phillip Asshole at 9:20 AM on May 10, 2009


I would pass on to myself the wisdom that David Foster Wallace tried to pass on himself: never date a woman who exhibits any Lynchian aspects.
posted by Banky_Edwards at 9:20 AM on May 10, 2009


Know that you will love again.
posted by kestrel251 at 9:20 AM on May 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Never tip.
posted by found missing at 9:20 AM on May 10, 2009


A smile now and again is not going to kill you.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 9:21 AM on May 10, 2009


Listen, kid: You're not as smart as you think you are and, even if you were, there's no outsmarting feelings. Think less, do more. And for the love of god don't be such a giant wuss.
posted by willpie at 9:26 AM on May 10, 2009 [2 favorites]


Someone who falls in love with a depressed, messed up version of you, may for reasons of their own want that kind of relationship. You can get stuck in endless loop of love for the wrong reasons that retard your emotional growth.
posted by readery at 9:27 AM on May 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


There's a fine line between a new girlfriend that's a little too into you and a bunny-boiler.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 9:30 AM on May 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Relax. At some point in the future, someone will love you back.
posted by bonobothegreat at 9:33 AM on May 10, 2009


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