I'm in my mid 20's, and I haven't dated since high school. How do I do this right? (uh, NSFW)
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (16 answers total) 20 users marked this as a favorite
I haven't dated since high school. My high school relationships were pretty decent, I had 3 that lasted almost a year, plus the usual fooling around in between. But I was a pretty good girl back then.
Since then, however, I haven't been in a relationship. Haven't met a guy at a bar, haven't even kissed someone, or held a man's hand. Why? Well, I went to a private University, and since then I've traveled/lived internationally a lot, and the few expats in those places are usually much, much older than I. And also, I'm just not the kind of girl who's into anonymous one night stands, or being with a guy "just because". I value relationships, so I'll wait until a decent guy comes along.
Fast forward to now. (my friends want to set me up with a guy I met last week, who I clicked really well with, but this is also a general question) How do I date like an adult? I'm a pretty well balanced, intelligent, mature individual. It's just that my most recent relationship started with "Will you go out with me?", ended with "My mom says we have to break up", and was filled with lots of notes passed in class, and hiding from parents, in between. Ridiculous.
And... about sex. My last tromps? With a barely-pubescent highschool boy on prom night, we had no idea what the hell we were doing, and no, we didn't have sex. I'm a virgin.
Any, any advice at all is appreciated, and I feel like my questions might not even have specific answers, but here's a few to get you started:
-How do typical adult relationships happen? ("typical" is probably the wrong word, though, I know there isn't one)
-I feel like, if I do begin a relationship, I may at first be either highly overwhelmed, or incredibly "giddy"... not because I'm not ready, but because it's been so long since I've been with someone. Excitement is good, but I don't want to push a guy away. How do I keep my emotions/expectations realistic?
-sex: Aside from the million obvious ways, how are sexual encounters with a 25 or 30 year old man different than those with a 15 year old boy? I'm a (technical) virgin, and plan on staying that way till marriage, ( if a guy doesn't understand that, he's not the kind I want to be with anyways), but I'm fully open to the rest of the options. I just don't know what to expect in bed or on the way to bed, and what he expects from me (communication is key, though, I know).
I'll leave this for now. I feel as though I may be coming across a little more "overthinker" than I really am, but this is ASKmifi, so I figured I'd just lay it all out there. Communication in a relationship is number one. I know that. And I'm not rushing into things; life and love will happen as they may.
So, mefites. Advice? Suggestions? Anecdotes? THANK YOU, in advance!