Name Change Help
April 27, 2009 7:54 AM Subscribe
I hate my married name.
posted by Juicylicious to human relations (85 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I had a beautiful given name. I was the only person in the US with my name. It was phonetically easy and rolled off the tongue. I received compliments constantly. Then I got married.
At the time, my husband had what I considered a beautiful name - San Nicolas. He failed to disclose what a pita it is.
I was 45 y.o. and had never been married before. I took his name because I thought it was nice and unique. I have learned to hate it.
This name is constantly misspelled and mispronounced. I am in the military and have a 1" x 5" name tape over my right boob and yet people will still write down my name incorrectly. I get called "Saint" constantly. People always put an "h" in the middle and often drop the second "a" = Nichols. Spelling it over the phone makes my blood pressure soar. No one seems to understand the "you know, it's like San Francisco, San Diego, San Antonio" reference. The usual response is "hyphenated?" Argh!!!!
Worse yet, the Army personnel system does not recognize blank spaces. Although my ID card is correct, I just learned the pay system and security system have me named "Nicolas San." That is going to be a nightmare to fix.
I held out changing some of my personal accounts, but due to travel, I just had to change my passport, leaving my social security account and library card as the last hold outs.
I've approached my husband about returning to my maiden name several times. I've pleaded, reasoned, conjoled and attempted bribery. He steadfastly refuses to agree to a name change. I've offered to move his name over to my middle name and replace my last name. I've offered to hyphenate it, which would be even worse than now, but my thought was that I could drop the San Nicolas for all practicle purposes. All were no gos.
I need to figure out a way to convince him that I should go back to my maiden name or find a compromise. Some way that I could keep his name, but not use it.