A book for coping with stress?

April 18, 2009 7:25 PM

Recommendations for a book on coping / handling stress?

My girl friend has always been very responsible in all areas of her life, work, finance, etc. But lately she's had trouble letting things go when she should.

Mush of this worrying is about things that she has no control over (friend being sick), are far in the future, are highly improbable, and even in some cases, things that really have nothing to do with her (a friends problem).

She's always seemed quite stable and generally happy, but worrying is beginning to take it's toll on her sleep and overall happiness.

Can anyone recommend a book that might help her deal with general life stress?

posted by anonymous to health & fitness (7 comments total)

I've found Anne Lamott's Operating Instructions helpful for finding the absurdity in times of stress. (Note: if she's your girlfriend in a romantic way, giving her a book about having a baby might send a message you don't intend.)
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:43 PM on April 18

Read anything by Pema Chodron or Dag Hammarsjkold. Failing that, try the Book of Hours by Rainer Maria Rilke. They're all good for getting a clear perspective on life.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 8:09 PM on April 18

I found martial arts helped me a lot in this department, FWIW. But recently a book that cracked me wide open and helped me deal with a lot of these feelings was the novella Weight by Jeanette Winterson. It's both light and incredibly powerful, mythical and autobiographical, and a quick read.
posted by hermitosis at 8:09 PM on April 18 [1 favorite]

The Feeling Good Handbook is a classic, and with good reason. Very helpful for this sort of thing.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 8:22 PM on April 18

I really hope she asked for this and you're not just going to surprise her with a "how to cope with stress book." I think I'd be offended if my partner thought that my worries and fears for a friend could/should be relived by reading a book. You didn't go into much detail, so I'm hoping that you know better than that.
posted by Lullen at 9:32 PM on April 18

I was about to like to The Feeling Good Handbook, but I see I've been beat to it! So I'll second that suggestion. The book takes the principles of cognitive behavioral therapy and tries to instill them into the reader via small problem sets that have you thoughtfully evaluate your behavior and what is unrealistic about your thinking. It teaches you a list of the common avenues of distorted thinking, and hopefully you can then go on and recognize them when you are fraught with despair and worry.

I highly recommend.
posted by sickinthehead at 6:14 AM on April 19

I really liked Byron Katie's "Loving What Is," even though later I learned that plenty of people find her hokey and/or creepy. And I'm a big worrier.
posted by Salamandrous at 3:09 PM on April 19