Birthday present ideas for grandfather

April 15, 2009 5:09 AM

I am looking for birthday present ideas for a 95-year-old man whom I barely know.

My 95-year-old grandfather's birthday is this week. For a variety of reasons, I don't really know the man, and I am at a loss as to what to get him. He is a moderately devout Catholic. He does not see very well. His hearing is a little better, but not great. That's about all I know. Any ideas?

posted by feathermeat to grab bag (19 comments total)

If you can, find out how he listens to audio and what kind of music or books he likes (towards audiobooks).
posted by not_on_display at 5:19 AM on April 15

In 1932, he was a randy teenager. With that in mind, consider this Top Songs of 1932 article your roadmap to making the coolest mixtape ever.
posted by rokusan at 5:25 AM on April 15 [2 favorites has favorites]

Something he can eat. The last gift I gave to an elderly person was a selection of honeys. I knew he liked honey by the spoonful and the gift was appreciated. Find out what he likes to eat and you'll have your answer.
posted by snowjoe at 5:44 AM on April 15

Careful with the food gifts for elderly folks, though - even if he doesn't have some sort of medical condition that would keep him from eating certain foods, he may end up getting a lot of food gifts that only end up taking up space in the freezer - that tended to happen with my grandmother a lot; physically she could eat what she liked but she just wasn't as 'into' food as she grew older (but at the same time she could never bring herself to throw out things she was given so it all just kept piling up) ... It might be worth just double-checking with someone who knows him better before you go the food route, if you can.

Depending on his life situation and the circumstances surrounding your relationship with him I guess the old standby is some sort of service-oriented gift - can you do stuff around his house or yard (or pay someone to do it for him), or be his taxi for a week, or just spend time with him or some such thing like that? If that wouldn't really work in your particular situation that's certainly understandable but I thought I'd throw it out there ... failing that I think I would go for the music or audiobooks idea, myself.
posted by DingoMutt at 5:55 AM on April 15 [1 favorite has favorites]

Do you have access to any pictures from throughout his life? I know you said he doesn't see very well, but maybe he can see well enough to appreciate a photo album or scrapbook? Obviously, this might require more effort or time than you're able to give, but it's an idea. My cousin recently gave my mom such a gift, and it was a huge hit.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 6:03 AM on April 15

Along the lines of rokusan's mixtape idea, about 2 years ago, I got my grandparents a set of CD's of old radio shows. My grandparents still listen to those CD's and still talk about how much they enjoy them.
posted by dogmom at 6:10 AM on April 15 [1 favorite has favorites]

If you decide to go with the food route, there are many abbeys and monasteries that specialize in food gifts. Being Catholic, he might enjoy something from one of them. Gethsemani Farms has fudge, fruitcake, and cheese. The fruitcake is phenomenal (yes, really), but it has big nuts in it. The Bourbon fudge is very strong (enough bourbon to clear your sinuses) and tasty, but they also have non-bourbon fudge, and that's something he could share with visitors. Abbey Press may have other appropriate religious gift ideas for you.

Depending on his interests, preferences, and locations, other ideas would be a wind chime (indoors or outdoors) or a small bird feeder. There are some that attach directly to the window with suction cups so he doesn't have to see very far to appreciate the little visitors. Of course, it would be best to arrange some way of having the feeder refilled often if you go with this route. I've quite often seen feeders like these at nursing homes.
posted by BlooPen at 6:13 AM on April 15 [2 favorites has favorites]

You could make a contribution in his name to his church. At 95, he doesn't need anything probably.

If you can find out what restaurant he enjoys, you could give him a gift certificate.
posted by onhazier at 6:18 AM on April 15

Newspaper subscription.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:20 AM on April 15

A giant magnifying glass to help him see stuff? A phone with huge buttons? Other low vision stuff from http://www.independentliving.com/ or another store for people who are losing their sight?
posted by citystalk at 7:06 AM on April 15

some nice warm cashmere socks?
posted by fancyoats at 7:17 AM on April 15

dogmom's idea is great!
Here are a bunch of old-time radio shows in MP3 format.
posted by Floydd at 7:20 AM on April 15 [1 favorite has favorites]

My Mom is 90. You know what I give her? Cash. Yeah, cash. Y'know these great people live in situations where their kids are paying for everything from shelter to food to whatever. They most likely don't drive and travel anywhere. In short, the dignity of being a functioning human in society has disappeared. My Mom loves cash. She doesn't need another sweater or a fruit basket. But being able to tip her hairdresser, being able to slip a fiver into a grandkids birthday card, being able to buy the moisturizer she likes ... that's just cool.

So send him an envelope stuffed with some bills and a note telling him to tip his barber, bet with a buddy on a football game or treat his favorite grandkid to ice cream and I bet he'll never forget you. Whether you're a guy or not, it's a manly thing to do.
posted by lpsguy at 7:23 AM on April 15 [2 favorites has favorites]

My 95-year-old grandfather's birthday is this week. For a variety of reasons, I don't really know the man, and I am at a loss as to what to get him.

I understand it depends on the reasons why you don't know him, but is there any chance you could get him a granddaughter? I mean, you say you barely know him, but he barely knows you too. Assuming this distance isn't due to something irreconcilable, you could do well just to take him out a bit and give him some company. It might be uncomfortable at first, but it could be a great experience.
posted by Sova at 7:39 AM on April 15 [1 favorite has favorites]

Old radio shows are a great idea. My dad used to love those. But we had to buy him a cd player too, since he didn't have anything to play the cds on. So check into what kinds of electronics he has available. And don't forget to include some headphones! My dad had a hard time hearing details when there was excessive background noise, and so he would crank up the volume on the tv and radio to annoying levels for anyone with normal hearing who happened to be in the same room (or county, for that matter). Headphones would help with that.

In fact, another idea I just thought of, if he watches a lot of tv, is a set of headphones so he can hear the tv better. Here's Amazon's results for searching "wireless tv headphones".
posted by SuperSquirrel at 7:40 AM on April 15

My grandmother is going to be 97 this year. She loves simple gifts. Flowers are usually a hit. Also, she likes gift baskets w/ lots of different stuff in them. Also, she's lived on a dairy farm for most of her life and likes cow-themed items. :)

I think the biggest part of it honestly, is that the gift signifies that someone is thinking of her and she enjoys that the most. I live pretty far from her right now and so only get to see her a few times a year, but I try to call once a month or so.

In terms of the gift baskets, she likes to be able to serve people who visit her food, and she's not able to cook or bake that well any more.

You can try functional gifts, but I've found that she has trouble integrating new things into her routine. I got her an electric jar opener one year and while she was appreciative, she never used it.

I don't know how generalizable my experiences are, but I hope they help!
posted by reddot at 8:12 AM on April 15

My boyfriend's dad is 98. He likes grappa for Christmas and his birthday.
posted by scody at 9:00 AM on April 15

Comedy option: a five-year diary.

If you're going to do a food gift, something shelf-stable like honey or jam is probably preferable to a food gift like brownies or cake or fresh fruit, because he will be getting a lot of the latter, most likely. Something that can be set aside and enjoyed later.

The idea of a contribution to the church in his name might work. Or not. Some people don't think that charitable contributions count as a gift (I think they're wrong, but I don't know what your grandfather thinks.)

Similarly, the idea of a gift certificate for yard service or house-cleaning or something like that might be perfect. Or not--some elderly folks get antsy about strangers being in their space.

Can you ask one of his caretakers what he wants or needs or would enjoy? Even if there's some family awkwardness between that person and your family, it might be worth making a quick phone call to find out. If you state your business clearly ("Hi, this is feathermeat. I wanted to send Grampa a birthday gift and wondered if there was anything he needed or wanted, or if he would enjoy x or y?") and get off the phone before any recriminations or nonsense ensue by saying, "Thanks for your help! I really appreciate it. Well, I won't keep you any longer" and then hanging up.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:12 AM on April 15

My dad is 84 and the thing he seems to love most (and he's not an easy-to-please guy by any means) is our company. When we go over to visit, he likes nothing more than for me to sit with him while he watches TV and listen to him gripe about the news, the economy, that news anchor who would be so pretty if she'd just get that damned hair out of her eyes, gas prices ("I remember the gas wars right after World War II...."). We try to take him out somewhere nice for lunch, but he prefers to go to the local greasy spoon where he's been going every other day for X amount of years. I think he gets a kick out of going there with us, as the staff and other regulars all greet him by name, they know what he wants to order, etc, and he's impressing us with his VIP status.

So, if you're near enough geographically, go spend a few hours with Grandpa for his birthday. Let him talk about whatevery he wants, ask him about his old job or his dating days or whatever topic gets him in a reminiscing mood, then just listen.
posted by Oriole Adams at 10:36 AM on April 15 [1 favorite has favorites]